Forum - View topicMy 7 page One-Shot.
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Cifix_Enix
Posts: 2 |
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I'd like some open reviews on my work I'm entering for a contest.
Be as brutal as you'd like, as long as you're honest. The contest wants a silent manga so no dialogue. Here's a link to them and a quote. "“Silent Manga” for Manga-Audition entry is not reliant on language, as it is judged purely by graphics execution, of story telling. Though it helps to have brief intro and ending sentence" I have a feeling a certain Shakespeare quote will fit nicely at the beginning and end or Plato. It's supposed to just be a simple guy defeats monster rescues princess type deal. So if it seems it derails from that at any point let me know.Ill be happy if I can finish this in 3 weeks. http://www.manga-audition.com/introduction-to-silent-manga/#more-82 Details for what I'm supposed to be going for: “The homeland of manga, Japan, is seeking your talent!!” Do you have what it takes to be the next manga star? Read the following rules and regulations, to submit your work. 2014 Theme : “The Finest Smile” Between loved ones, or between people who are in contact for just a brief moment of time, a “Smile” always brings that warm emotion to a person, sometimes even more. What was the most memorable SMILE in your memory? “The Finest Smile” is the theme for second year round of Silent Manga Audition. It could be the moment your partner accepting your marriage proposal, or it could be someone smiling to you, for reasons which may not be your original intention. It could be in hostile environment, it could be between animals or aliens, or possibly some object which just happened to seem like a smiling face to you but not everyone else. Capture that moment, and tell the story through “Silent Manga!” Manga Audition Rules “No Words, No Story” Submissions are judged based on the author’s use of a manga artist’s most valuable skill: performance. Please express the selected “one emotion” in a way that is uniquely yours. No need to come up with a complex story. The important thing is to convey the selected theme to your readers. Visually depict your characters emotions without relying on a backstory and gimmicks. Professionals and amateurs of any gender; all are welcome to apply! “Dialogue is not to be used in the manga” The challenge is to use only your talent at visual performance. Entry Detail, rules and updates are posted on official website and Facebook page. The Award winners will have chance to have their work published in a Japanese Manga magazine! Entries will also be published on our website! I'll start with my main character attempts. Attempt 1 
Attempt 2 & 3 
Attempt 4,5,6 
Attempt 7 (Final) 
Panel 1 
Panel 2 
Panel 3 
Panel 3,4,5,6,7,8 
Page 1 last panel 
Page 2 Panel 1,2 
Bottom Half of Page 2 
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TsunaReborn!
 Posts: 4713 Location: Cheltenham UK |
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Do you want us to comment and give opinions or is this just a show and tell?
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ikillchicken
 Posts: 7272 Location: Vancouver |
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Well, right off the bat I should say that you definitely need to ink your work if you want it to look like an actual finished book that you can enter in a contest. Perhaps you already know that and this is just at the pencil stage though. Anyway, as far a pencil sketches go it looks pretty good. It's tough to say too much based on just a few panels but it seems like you have at least a decent understanding of anatomy and a very good eye for detail. Some of those group panels look quite nice. I'm not quite sure about the perspective in panel 3 though. It looks like those stairs in the back are on a different plane than the characters in the foreground.
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Lengarion
Posts: 19 |
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As I recall, one of the Manga Audition rules states that it is not allowed to publish (or, you know, put online) your work anywhere else. I'm not quite certain to what degree that includes unfinished pages, but I thought I should let you know.
Apart from that, I'm not sure I understand your story, but that could just be me. There is some king, and he seems unhappy, then a boy appears, pats him on the shoulder and leaves with a gigantic sword. How does that fit the topic of "the finest smile"? |
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