Forum - View topic*Feedback* on my manga "Crossing Horizons" appreciated
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UnknownFactor-6
Posts: 8 |
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Sry about last thread but here. Ur thoughts? put em' below!
Crossing Horizons is the title, it has two meanings. It's a mix of Shounen, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, little romance, Comedy, and Mecha (game). The first meaning of the title is meant for the game players are trapped in at the peak of it. So a year after it's release 2,083,607 players are trapped in the game where the concept is to be the last 100 by killing each other or beat a boss with 1,000,000 lives. The 2nd meaning leads more into the cliffhanger spoiler[They are told in game that they would die in real life, but the cliffhanger is that they don't actually die but rather give the person/people that trapped them enough time to prepare enough deaths in reality which results in a season 2 ] It will have aspects of normal shounen with unexpected events that don't happen in normal shounen. spoiler[ a main character dies or something like that ] Btw, the game system is a serum that enters your body/blood system (haven’t decided yet) another thing that leads to the cliffhanger. For my lazy character that sleeps 75% of the time is this good enough of an outfit? Plain white non-formal long sleeve shirt with an all around collar under a white short sleeve shirt with 2 red strips that spiral around upwards toward the collar. On top of both is a sleeveless plain white zip-up hooded jacket. He also wears Black pants with the initials FFF for "Fighting for Freedom" (meaning the players that try and fight their way out of the game). He has a different hairstyle after everytime he wakes up but not too different from the previous. Will keep adding character designs as i figure out each one. Last edited by UnknownFactor-6 on Thu Nov 28, 2013 11:37 am; edited 2 times in total |
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Tamaria
 Posts: 1512 Location: De Achterhoek |
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Is this your first project? It seems awfully complex. The key to a solid shonenseries is keeping the premise simple. Don't think about all the little details or genres you want to jam in there. Focus on the big picture or atleast that one thing that will make your series special. Here's a good exercise: pitch your series in less than 30 seconds / two sentences. If you can get someones attention in that short amount of time, you know you've got something interesting. Proper worldbuilding takes a long time, so save that for when your telling the story to an audience that has been hooked.
So, your basic premise would be that gamers get stuck in a MMORPG and are forced to either work together or against each other to survive and win the game. It's far from original, but pretty solid. Since you're not really going for originality, execution will be everything. Likable characters are important (don't make the mistake Sword Art Online made) and you'll want to watch the pacing. Again, worldbuilding is important, but don't go around smacking your readers with the exposition hammer! Never forget your characters. This way, when you do pull of that little twist you're thinking about, it'll will actually matter to the readers. Oh, and you may to pick another title, what with Log Horizon being a series about people getting stuck in een MMORPG and all... BTW Had a weird dream about Log Horizon last night. Turned out all players were actually AI's created from player data. Now that'd be a good plottwist! |
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UnknownFactor-6
Posts: 8 |
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i actually made the title and breakdown last school year in February. i told my friends before log horizon came out (and i haven't watched it)... so yeah. and i guess i can take the execution path. i already thought of having 168 surviving or a different amount if they try and hack the game from inside the game
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Tamaria
Posts: 1512 Location: De Achterhoek |
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Ah, the whole hacking thing can be pretty exciting! Makes sense too. Both other options aren't very appealing to gamers when you think about it. The first one would be essentialy following the plan of a mass murderer, the second would be becoming one themselves. Of course there will be people who decide to rebel and break the system instead, creating a new and better option with their own hands.
I mean sure, .hack did the hacking thing too, but there's plenty of room to do something different, especially when the hackers are actually stuck in the game. Hacking the game like that would certainly come with huge risks, wouldn't it? I imagine whoever is running it would put the death penalty on that. They'd have to be really creative to survive, not just when looking for and using exploits, but also when sharing information. If you go that route, your world could be a fairly normal MMO and it wouldn't matter much how many people got stuck in it; that group of hackers could be your main point of focus. And you could still do some awesome worldbuilding, but from a different perspective. Like, how are these hackers organised? Is it a small group? Or are they several groups that focus of different parts of the game/the hacking process? Do they, maybe, secretly work together with some guilds (politics!) or are they more like a top secret organisation that relies only on themselves? Any cool tools of the trade? Do they communicate in some kind of code when talking about their plans so the system admin doesn't find out? This is something you could start of fairly episodic (not a bad idea if this is your first project) covering different missions, and once you've got a solid grip on the whole thing, start tying everything together to create something epic. |
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UnknownFactor-6
Posts: 8 |
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Arigatou (thank you) u gave the most help out of anyone besides my team |
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