JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders Egypt Arc

Episode 9

The second half of the fight with Alessi is a drastic improvement over the first half, if for no other reason than it contains the line: "Why are you running around cradling that dying fetus?" Now this is the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure I've come to know and love!

In all seriousness, while Set and his master may be the lamest part of the Egypt arc, their battle with Jotaro and Polnareff does conclude much stronger than it began, with lots of action, twists, and insipid comedy anticlimax that turns all that tension into laughter by the end. After lollygagging a little too much last week, Alessi's had enough of Polnareff's pervert-infant antics. He's not getting any younger after all, but Polnareff sure is, as Set continues to work his magic on not only our hero but his busty savior as well. This is where that "dying fetus" part comes in. Set reduces Polnareff's pretty guardian to prenatal form, but with no womb nearby to protect her, she'll soon shrivel up and die. Geez Jojo's, that's pretty dark! This leads to an extremely bizarre chase scene with a continually shrinking Polnareff cradling the fetus-woman in her negligee while Alessi races after him with his best Jack Nicholson impression at the ready.

While Polnareff and his extremely tiny Silver Chariot do a valiant job of fighting him off, it's once again Jotaro's job to deliver the final blow, while Polnareff protects the defenseless lady-baby. Jotaro's unflappable badassery can get tired sometimes, but I genuinely loved how Alessi's defeat was handled. At first I was sure that Jotaro would simply outfox him and not even fall victim to the de-aging shadow's powers at all, but the show's actual twist on the battle was much more satisfying. Jotaro has apparently been a punch-first-ask-questions-later noble delinquent since he was very young, because he can take Alessi in a boxing match at age 7, even without the help of his Stand, and the episode does a very good job of making this curb-stomping believable. After all, Alessi's greatest weakness is that he's filled with, well, great weakness! He has to use his stand's powers to fight because despite his hearty build, he's not any kind of martial artist himself. He doesn't know how to fight hand-to-hand, and Jotaro has been fighting with only two little clenched fists since he was tiny. It's a righteous smackdown that puts a nice hearty exclamation point on what had been one of the weakest battles so far. Good riddance, Alessi!

The episode concludes with yet another gallingly sexist depiction of a lady, but it's that harmless eye-rolling sort of ancient sexism I've brought up in a previous review, and looking past its ignorance, at least there's a sweet sentiment underneath it. After everyone is returned to their adult states, the gorgeous woman who rescued Polnareff (and then got rescued in turn) begins to suspect that he may be the boy who saved her, if the whole crazy event wasn't just a dream. We know that Polnareff is all about chasing the ladies, but he's never had any success before, so what will he do now that a compassionate beauty has finally fallen into his lap? He makes the mature decision and tells her to forget about what she saw, as he must continue his mission to defeat Dio, and can't put her in any further danger. Jotaro gives him a knowing look, a little "you did the right thing" face that reinforces the underlying bond of love and friendship between the Stardust Crusaders, even if they spend most of their time harassing each other. It's a nice way to end the adventure, comical prize-damsel aside.

Oh my god, next week is D'Arby! Finally! Now this enemy stand will be a real challenge...

Rating: B

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders Egypt Arc is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.

Hope has been an anime fan since childhood, and likes to chat about cartoons, pop culture, and visual novel dev on Twitter.