Your lie in April

Episode 21

If there was any doubt in viewers' minds that Kaori returned Kosei's feelings, this week should immediately dispel that. Surprisingly given the cliffhanger last week, the girl is back to talking, if not quite walking, for herself. Kosei thinks all is lost, but Watari delivers him a note from Kaori, saying she wants canelés. He brings them to her, and the drama of the episode starts in earnest, as she demands to take them on a picnic in the snow.

All is still not well in Kosei's world, though. Carrying Kaori makes him realize just how light she is, and that she's still far from getting better. His despair isn't gone, though maybe it's lessened. He can play piano, but only because Kaori urges him to, reminding him that she's still here and still able to hold him to his promises. She even gets up to play air violin, creating a fantasy for the viewer as well as Kosei and herself (before tumbling back to the ground.) That's when her fated confession arrives, as she tells Kosei that he's the reason she kept living, and wishes she know more things about him. She's even jealous of Tsubaki, our poor runner-up, merely for knowing him longer!

There's no golden kiss, though. The point of this episode is that love is suffering. Kosei's love for Kaori causes him to crawl into the fetal position, refusing to play, when he thinks she's dead. Even once he learns the truth, it still takes a lot to get him up on that stage, and then he just sits there for a while. Kosei is only able to play when he comes to a satisfying, albeit predictable, conclusion: Kaori isn't the only person in the world who cares about him. There are others counting on him, and if he needs someone to play for, it can be them. His mom might have died on him, and Kaori might be next, but that doesn't mean all hope is lost. He'll always have friends, family, and an audience, so he can give them a Chopin ballade performance dripping with the pathos from his life.

On paper, Your Lie in April is a predictable teen melodrama—the sort of thing we'd call "sick lit" in book form. Even The Fault in Our Stars' final twist was more of a curveball than what this show's accomplished so far (though we still have one episode left). What makes it so compelling is the presentation: the dynamic musical performances, the animation, the art, and the direction. It's in top form this week, with the hazy whites, greys, and blues illustrating not just the wintry weather, but Kaori and Kosei's mental states. They both look paler than they did before, and Kaori's character is fuzzier around the edges. We can directly see how much she's fading away. I've made mention of this show's references to Evangelion, but it's never been more blatant than this week: from Kosei's curled-up muttering to his blood-splattered hands. Your Lie in April is also excellent at communicating when we're watching a fantasy sequence, while still clarifying how real it is for the character. Kaori's violin and the cherry blossoms may be illusions, but for Kosei they are as solid as the piano keys beneath him. That mix of ethereal and concrete comes across in the visual design too, fading between clear and opaque.

I like that this show has run long enough that it can refer back to itself in this way. The cherry blossoms showed up when Kosei realized he had a reason for playing beyond his mother: Kaori. They've returned now that Kaori is about to leave him, and Kosei has a similar realization about everyone else watching him. It's also refreshing to see how other characters' relationships to Kosei have developed in a way that supports this conclusion. Takeshi and Emi no longer see him as merely their rival, but as a friend. They're concerned for his well-being when he's pale and curled up, not just his upcoming performance. Emi even insists on taking him to the infirmary instead of the stage, albeit to no avail. We also see Hiroko coming to terms with her conflicting feelings about her student. She wants him to take part in this competition they've prepared for, yet she's also grappling with the guilt that she didn't give Kosei the support he needed last time he was like this, and that she's still just as helpless right now.

Your Lie in April has been an uneven, but rewarding ride. It wasn't always the show I expected it to be, and it didn't always flout those expectations in a good way. It was still always enjoyable, full of the emotional power that makes these kinds of stories work. On paper, there's nothing new here, but it's directed like the best of anime. I'm eager to see what Your Lie in April has in store for its final chapter, even if it will probably reduce me to tears.

Rating: A-

Your Lie in April is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.

Rose is a musicologist who studies film music. She writes about anime and many other topics on Autostraddle.com, her blog and her Twitter..