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NEWS: What's it Like to Marry an Otaku?


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heykay15



Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 5
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 2:35 pm Reply with quote
this is such a cute and funny article lol

ehh im looking for a boy. but mm... dunno if i could deal w/this. want to have some normal conversations with my partner and companion.
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Haru to Ashura



Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Posts: 617
Location: Termina
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 3:34 pm Reply with quote
Oh, the poor girl, I couldn't handle that much of a dork. But she does have a good point, if he won't cheat on you, the better he is.
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Steve007101



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 165
Location: IL, USA
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 3:34 pm Reply with quote
Hah. Well the thing is, not that many Otakus as far as I know can be that hardcore and somewhat inconsiderate, especially considering that I do know very little about Japanese Otakus. However, it is true that it can be viewed as a big obsession that is a product of, well, no production societally speaking. It's just an addicting hobbie for good reason, throw in being considerate and room for enough other things and it's really nothing to be looked down apon. And yes, I am speaking from experience.
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cookie
Former ANN Editor in Chief


Joined: 02 Jan 2002
Posts: 2460
Location: Do not contact me for support.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 3:42 pm Reply with quote
heykay15 wrote:
this is such a cute and funny article lol

ehh im looking for a boy. but mm... dunno if i could deal w/this. want to have some normal conversations with my partner and companion.


Behind the article, are more serious concerns about the Japanese society.

While I was in Japan last summer, there were regular reports about the declining fertility rate, how it would have an impact on the Japanese society, and why the rate had been decreasing for so long. IIRC there was even a bit of a scandal when the Japanese government didn't release the latest figures on time, because they knew they were going to be lower than the last ones.

Basically, the old folks are getting too old to have kids, and the young folks aren't interested in having kids; they're not a worthwhile investment for the future. The exact reasons are a bit out of the scope of this forum to discuss, but basically "there aren't enough kids being born." More info about the declining birth rate can be found here.

One show I saw about it suggested that women tended to only get married in their 20s. By the age of 30, women had much harder times attracting attention of prospective suitors because even 30+ year old men still looked for 18-24 year old women. This... may or may not be true, but the above statistics suggest that men are slightly older than the women they marry, but only by about 2 years.

It doesn't say in the article how old Yoshika is, but I suspect she's in her late 20s or early 30s, and this marriage was something of a last-ditch effort to simply BE married, because the future prospects looked increasingly grim.

Maybe things'll change in Japan, but I'm not aware of any experts offering suggestions as to when the birth rate might begin to increase -- in fact, most reports I've read suggest that the population on the islands of Japan will begin to _decline_ in my lifetime.
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GATSU



Joined: 03 Jan 2002
Posts: 15297
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 4:23 pm Reply with quote
Cookie: Yeah, well, the only thing the Japanese can do is stop ostracizing foreigners, and allow them to marry into their society. Plus they need to improve their economy, so there's a reason for them to have kids. Other than that, considering how overcrowded and overpriced everything is there, a declining birth rate might not be so bad.
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darkhunter



Joined: 13 May 2004
Posts: 2992
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 4:34 pm Reply with quote
I was watching a movie on japanese's birth rate in my humanities class. Basically, women are choosing to stay single longer and not married/settle down so early. They want to advance in thier career. In the past, women were homemaker and they would have arranged marriage (some really earlier), thus the women rely on the men for fancial support. The men could cheat on his wife but she wouldn't leave him to return to her home because it's dishonrable and she couldn't make it out on her own. And then the movies goes on to interviewing several japanese women in thier 25 (dress in hip clothes) why they 're not settling down with kids, it's mostly because they're focusing in their career and now that they can make their own money, they don't rely on men so much and be independent.

The "marry otaku" article thought was pretty interesting. Perhaps hardcore otaku guys should look into otaku ladies for mates, they probably live a happier life together. But most otakus I know only drool over attractive girls.


Last edited by darkhunter on Thu Apr 21, 2005 4:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Steve007101



Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 165
Location: IL, USA
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 4:36 pm Reply with quote
GATSU: I agree very much, it can be viewed as positive and negative but still, this looks like a problem that won't eventually heal so that can't be enough positive to match it. I had no idea it was that bad, I am very sad to hear it and I do hope things iron out.

darkhunter: I see...nothing more to add.


Last edited by Steve007101 on Thu Apr 21, 2005 4:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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s_j



Joined: 18 Oct 2004
Posts: 162
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:00 pm Reply with quote
This is something American women are very familiar with already...over here, they're just called 'The Sports Fan.'

Wink
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quincyarcher



Joined: 13 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 5:20 pm Reply with quote
s_j wrote:
This is something American women are very familiar with already...over here, they're just called 'The Sports Fan.'

Wink


I think it's common with many men. If it isn't cars, it's home construction, fishing, music, hunting, or trains. Sometimes geneaology. Most married guys I know have some hobby that they can escape with.

I have a feeling the woman in this article maybe had a bit too high expectation for married life. Albiet his hobby isn't helping, but if she doesn't cope, she'll find herself divorcing soon. I do wonder about what will happen when kids come into the equation.
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msi435



Joined: 29 Nov 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 6:45 pm Reply with quote
Haha, the article sounds like it would be in "a portrait of an otaku" segment of otaku no video.
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Haru to Ashura



Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Posts: 617
Location: Termina
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 7:17 pm Reply with quote
quincyarcher wrote:
s_j wrote:
This is something American women are very familiar with already...over here, they're just called 'The Sports Fan.'

:wink:


I think it's common with many men. If it isn't cars, it's home construction, fishing, music, hunting, or trains. Sometimes geneaology. Most married guys I know have some hobby that they can escape with.

I have a feeling the woman in this article maybe had a bit too high expectation for married life. Albiet his hobby isn't helping, but if she doesn't cope, she'll find herself divorcing soon. I do wonder about what will happen when kids come into the equation.


Not nessessarily true, because there are varying degrees of 'fandom' in men. Some people love baseball. Congrats. They catch a home game every few weeks, watch the playoffs and other games on tv, chat about it with friends, that's it. A lower level of fandom. Whereas there's obsessive Yankees fans who pratically stalk the team to go see every single game on the other end of the spectrum. Marraige is about each person sacrificing for the greater good between the two. He should have to sacrifice a bit of his time and fandom as well, if she has to "cope."
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Ranmah



Joined: 27 Jan 2003
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Location: Stomp'n on Tokyo Tower
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:12 pm Reply with quote
Its an interesting article. I'm coming to that point in my life if I want to stay a bachelor or get married. Japanese women always facinated me. I think the Japanese Goverment should open up to allowing Foreigners to be able to stay in Japan.

This guy is a huge Otaku. I consider myself a fan, but even I know better not to eat that kind of food. Hell I would cook all the time if I had an decent kitchen (I can cook. My Pappy taught me and my bro). I don't watch that much anime. I'm too busy making it Very Happy .

I need to read it again. I agree that the women are entitled to have a career. My mom juggled me an my bro. Now she is the acting liason between the US AirForce and Pacific Rim (she even has the brown diplomatic passport). She balanced her career and two noisey kids. Anything is possible.
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JiJi McPaws



Joined: 26 Aug 2003
Posts: 40
Location: Orlando, FL
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:19 pm Reply with quote
Ahem, It's like marrying a weeble that wabbles and can still fall down. Cracking the floor and ripping his size M dragon ball Z shirt all in one blow.
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Wyvern



Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Posts: 1555
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:58 pm Reply with quote
This really sounds like a case of two people who aren't right for each other marrying out of desperation, and that's just sad. This isn't like when a woman marries a guy who's really into football but it's no big deal and they still love each other-this lady seems genuinly unhappy. I know Japan is a different culture and everything, but is being unmarried really worse than being tied for life to someone who doesen't understand you and sees their marraige to you as a disapointment? At least if you stay single there's a chance you'll find someone who you really click with. Settling for something less is just giving up.

It's funny how the article makes a spectacle out of the Otaku guy and makes it look like his weirdness is the source of all the wife's problems. Gee, maybe she bears some of the blame for having mapped out her entire married life before she even met her future husband?

It's also funny how much better off American Otaku seem to be-not only do we seem to have a better overall reputation, but almost half of us are (gasp) female! It seems like almost all Otaku in Japan are guys, or at least that's the stereotype. So we have a much better chance of finding love within our own hobby than our Japanese counterparts and thus avoiding the sad fate of Yoshioka and her hubby.

As for Yoshioka's line about how otaku "never have affairs with other women;" maybe that's what he wants you to think! Twisted Evil
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Demaar



Joined: 29 May 2004
Posts: 84
PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 10:10 pm Reply with quote
Haru to Ashura wrote:
quincyarcher wrote:
I think it's common with many men. If it isn't cars, it's home construction, fishing, music, hunting, or trains. Sometimes geneaology. Most married guys I know have some hobby that they can escape with.

I have a feeling the woman in this article maybe had a bit too high expectation for married life. Albiet his hobby isn't helping, but if she doesn't cope, she'll find herself divorcing soon. I do wonder about what will happen when kids come into the equation.

Not nessessarily true, because there are varying degrees of 'fandom' in men. Some people love baseball. Congrats. They catch a home game every few weeks, watch the playoffs and other games on tv, chat about it with friends, that's it. A lower level of fandom. Whereas there's obsessive Yankees fans who pratically stalk the team to go see every single game on the other end of the spectrum. Marraige is about each person sacrificing for the greater good between the two. He should have to sacrifice a bit of his time and fandom as well, if she has to "cope."

I agree with both of you. Every one of my friends has a hobby of some sort. Even if it's considered normal (like sports) or abnormal (like collecting toys). Now a while back, one of the sports guys started dating a non-sport fan. Now she's gone to games and such to take an interest etc, but at the same time he's gone to raves and stuff such as, that he'd never touch with a 20 foot pole under normal circumstances. I think that's a perfect example of how couples have to make allowances for each other.

It relates to the article because, the woman has most certainly given the guy a lot of leeway. Now he needs to give back, and at the very least least, cut back on the fanboy drivel and cartoons, or have the figures he owns in a room other than the living room (I know space is precious in Japan, but I'm sure he has a closet at the very least he can keep them in. Heck, he could even buy some little shelves and have them on display in there...).

Anyway, I don't see it working out for them, unless she just gives in and sacrifices her own happiness just to be married. I believe though, that no one should ever do that. If you're not happy, you get the hell outta there.
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