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The List - 8 Horrible Boyfriends

Ugh, I understand how you feel! We watched the live-action ParaKiss film as part of a Valentine's Day event with our Japan Club, and I was horrified when the movie ended with spoiler[a tearful reunion in America]! Completely ruined the entire thing for me! And the person who chose that movie was saying how she "likes the manga too, but doesn't like that they don't end up together." I think the worst part was that this was my friend's first exposure to ParaKiss and, indeed, to anything Ai Yazawa, and she walked away thinking it was corny, meaningless fluff.

You were doing fine until you said that Haruko is only 19 in human years. She may *appear* to be 19, but that's not her actual age. Heck, she treated Amarao the same way she treated Naota (at least to start with) when Amarao was Naota's age. It's really impossible to say how old she is, but she's definitely much older than 19.

But yeah, she wasn't actually going after Naota's dad or Atomsk in terms of forming some sort of romantic relationship with them. And in Naota's case, I think it may be more accurate to say that she grew fond of him rather than she started to become seriously interested in him, and that was, I think, because Naota opened up to her throughout the series (which I think the size of his N.O. gate reflected); as far as I can tell, Amarao withdrew, and I wouldn't be surprised of his N.O. gate actually shrunk; Haruko said it wasn't very big to begin with, more or less.

Hmm, kind of sad to see that from Gurren Lagann (spoilers for entire series coming) spoiler[only Kamina made it into the top 10, and not Nia. Now, don't get me wrong, Kamina was awesome and fun, yes, but his death was also hugely important to the story and character development of Simon. If he didn't die, it wouldn't be the same show at all. I guess you could resurrect him at the very end, but it would seem kind of weird.]

spoiler[Nia's death on the other hand just seemed pointless. We get like two sentences to even explain why she died, and with it happening right at the end no real story or character development came from it. Also, Simon had been fighting the last dozen or so episodes not just to save earth, but also to save her, and for her to suddenly die at the end anyways felt off. I didn't fit the tone of the ending up to that point. Unlike Kamina, saving her wouldn't require anything drastic or change the series much, just a few minor alterations to the last few scenes in the last episode and things would be fixed.]

EDIT: Clarifying a minor point.

Ugh, I understand how you feel! We watched the live-action ParaKiss film as part of a Valentine's Day event with our Japan Club, and I was horrified when the movie ended with spoiler[a tearful reunion in America]! Completely ruined the entire thing for me! And the person who chose that movie was saying how she "likes the manga too, but doesn't like that they don't end up together." I think the worst part was that this was my friend's first exposure to ParaKiss and, indeed, to anything Ai Yazawa, and she walked away thinking it was corny, meaningless fluff.

Zac wrote:

faintsmile1992 wrote: As for the girlfriends of the boys in the original piece, they remind me of this quote. "All evil requires the sanction of the victim" - Ayn Rand Thanks for the weekly reminder of what a colossal myopic juvenile idiot Ayn Rand was. I needed that!

This. Can we NOT get into The Fountainhead and Rand's wonderful rendition of how women secretly want to be raped? Seriously insulting.

The characters in these stories may not be real, but they are the fictional victims of sexualized violence written for girls as role models for romantic relationships. With the exception of Utena and Nana, which actually portrays the relationships as dysfunctional, these are situations that are supposed to make female audiences hearts flutter.

I could get far more analytical about gender roles and patriarchy, but seriously, what you got from this is "victims want it" ?

So I only see the media as reflecting misguided female fantasies and not creating them.

octopodpie wrote:

Zac wrote: faintsmile1992 wrote: As for the girlfriends of the boys in the original piece, they remind me of this quote. "All evil requires the sanction of the victim" - Ayn Rand Thanks for the weekly reminder of what a colossal myopic juvenile idiot Ayn Rand was. I needed that! This. Can we NOT get into The Fountainhead and Rand's wonderful rendition of how women secretly want to be raped? Seriously insulting. The characters in these stories may not be real, but they are the fictional victims of sexualized violence written for girls as role models for romantic relationships. With the exception of Utena and Nana, which actually portrays the relationships as dysfunctional, these are situations that are supposed to make female audiences hearts flutter. I could get far more analytical about gender roles and patriarchy, but seriously, what you got from this is "victims want it" ?

About the bolded part... yep, based on the piece. That's what the piece came across as saying and the fact it was written by a woman (yourself?) only gave that impression more because females are more judgmental of other women's failings than are men.

In particular the bit about Peach Girl obviously expresses the author's own moral judgement about someone not being an angel, and women with bad reputations really do end up with worthless men IRL because that's how it is.

You seem to be suggesting that the Japanese media is creating tropes to encourage behaviour in females, am I right?

If so I'd rather say that the media only reflects what the creators understand (or partly misunderstand) of other people's mating behaviours from what they see in real life - that many females do go and choose bad boys as partners despite the risks.

The first reason girls stick with genuinely abusive males in real life is usually a low sense of self-esteem, and a feeling that they themselves deserve no better. For these pairings the Ayn Rand quote is appropriate - they aren't abused children or animals in cages, their lifestyle choice has been not to say 'no'. But since these pairings are openly suboptimal for both partners, I doubt they inspire anyone to try and glorify them as desirable couples or anything.

Women are naturally attracted both to men who can protect their mates and also to those who can provide stability for them, although protectors are much sexier - girls don't go squee for anime boys who start their own businesses, because that's boring. But increasingly, in modern societies, men decreasingly fill either of the roles where unemployment ensures males aren't able to provide economically.

In real life most women would choose caring, macho heroes as mates if they could, men like sexy firemen who take cats down from trees and risk their lives going into burning buildings to protect children - things like that. This is why so many girls love boys like Allen Walker who have the same 'alpha' manly attitude that makes bad boys sexy (bad boys aren't sexy because they're bad). But in real life there are too few males like that to go round so most females seeking a mate will have to make a trade off between manly but uncaring males and caring but boring fathers, that's unless they want to stay single with their crushes on fictional characters. And this necessary trade off is why boys like Sasuke Uchiha are also popular with female fans, because they wish that they alone could turn a bad boy into their own devoted knight.

With widespread male unemployment there aren't even enough 'beta' providers around to be second choice mates once the best men are taken, and the best males got the first choice of the best females. For the remaining females there seems to be a choice of either jerks or hikikomori and herbivores. (Incidentally, if any unemployed male wants to appear sexier, he should take up martial arts or something that will make him look like a protector.)

Since the abusive male is simply the extreme of the bad boy, some girls understandably have an attraction to outright jerks because despite all evidence they think their best chance seems to taming one into their own shounen manga hero or firemen.

So I only see the media as reflecting misguided female fantasies and not creating them. With less and less sexy males with desirable personalities available, many women will go for jerks and, despite all of the evidence, they'll feel the hope of a successful relationship lies in their own special ability to tame any man they want.

Yeah, and this more general stereotypes about what women want.

I also would've thrown Ryo from Hot Gimmick in there. He is also a creepy abusive boyfriend! Prevent your girlfriend from having friends or family, berate her at every turn, give her an ultimatum concerning sex, physically abuse her... yep, he's sure a dream guy

la_contessa wrote:

Oh, I agree--Paradise Kiss is too perfect of a story about an emotionally abusive relationship not to be intended as such. We aren't intended to like him, we're supposed to see the dysfunction and how Yukari grew through and past it (to a point). But I am always horrified at how many people miss that. I know girls who think George is somehow romantic, and I cannot fathom why. It's not SAD that spoiler[George left Japan and she stayed behind], it's good! Not every spoiler[failed relationship] is tragic, you know?

Oooooooh yeah, experienced that firsthand when I watched the series and was really worried about where it was going until, well, it ended up where it did and nestled deeply in my heart as one of my favorite anime series. I was sooooo happy with how Yukari was characterized, how she overcame her relationship with George, learned from it, became a better person, but still found the strength not to be resentful of him and take responsibility for her own life, which was the most valuable thing he taught her, awful boyfriend in other regards or no.

AND THEN. I watched it with some high school buddies of mine and a few (though to be fair, not all,) were really upset that at the end Yukari and George didn't end up together. *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* Kinda depressing, honestly. I'm just going to log that away in my brain as them not being perceptive/thoughtful media consumers and hope it doesn't mean that's how they see real relationships. There's romanticism and then there's...idolizing and pursuing horrible jerk-men. D:

roseversailles wrote:

I also would've thrown Ryo from Hot Gimmick in there. He is also a creepy abusive boyfriend! Prevent your girlfriend from having friends or family, berate her at every turn, give her an ultimatum concerning sex, physically abuse her... yep, he's sure a dream guy

Or that other guy who sends all his friends to gang-rape her at the beginning. What a wonderfully romantic love-triangle!

And I'm glad Tsukasa Domyoji from Hana Yori Dango didn't make this list. He starts off as a jerk, but he changes into a better person which makes it easier to root for him and Tsukushi as a couple - and it's obvious he actually loves her.