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Akane the Catgirl
Posts: 1091 Location: LA, Baby! |
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Akane Recaps Sword Butt Online Episode Nine- General Stupidity
Last time on SAO: NOTHING HAPPENED. ...Okay, fine. Kirito: Ohmygod look at this rabbit I caught, you guys! Isn't it awesome? Agil: Holy sh*t! A rare item! How the hell are you going to cook that? Asuna: Through the power of outdated gender stereotypes! Kirito: You're damn right! VPD: Are you sure you should be wandering off with some stranger...alone? And unprotected? Asuna: F**k off. Narrator: Sometime later! Asuna: Anyway, that guy's such a c**k-blocker. Kirito: Agreed. Anyway- HOLY CRAP YOUR HOUSE IS AWESOME. Asuna: Time to make the rabbit! Kirito and Asuna: COOKING! Narrator: Afterwards... Kirito and Asuna: Yummy! Asuna: So, want to join my group so we can escape? Kirito: Hell no. Asuna points a knife at Kirito. Asuna: Hell yes. Kirito: Fine. Narrator: The next day! Kirito: La, la, waiting~ Asuna: Watch out for my breasts! Kirito: OW! Your breasts are in my face! VPD: Hey, Boss, why the f**k are you running away from me? Asuna: Because you're a stalker creep! VPD: We've been through this before; it's my JOB to look after you. Kirito: Actually, I thought it was my job. VPD: NO IT ISN'T WE'RE DUELING RIGHT NOW. Dueling ensues! Kirito: Huh. Looks like I won. Man, that was easy! VPD: F**K YOU! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! Asuna: No you aren't. You're fired. VPD: Screw this anime, I'm going home! Kirito: So, Asuna, wanna take the day off? Asuna: Sure. Narrator: And so our heroes go off to do some fighting and stuff. Kirito: Wanna go through that door leading to a boss? Asuna: Okay. Kirito: You know...I haven't heard that voice in my head all- Narrator: Here I am! Kirito: AAAAAAARRRRRR- So, what to say about "The Blue-Eyed Demon"? It's...better than the last episode. Which isn't saying much because Episode Eight was about as interesting as glue. At least there was some plot progression and really awesome fight animation. However, there was a whole lot of stupid we've come to expect from watching this tripe. Let's get this over with. *** The episode picks up right from where we last left off, with Kirito and Asuna entering the boss room. This particular monster is a chimera-looking sort of creature, down to having a snake for a tail. Damn, I knew reading all those library books in junior high would amount to something! After seeing the hellbeast, the two wisely decide to run for their lives. Outside, our heroes discuss how difficult the boss is (and given what happens later on HAHAHAHAHAHA). As soon as Kirito brings up using shield users, Asuna realizes very quickly that Her Man is hiding something. She brings up that she's never seen Kirito use a shield, then speculates on why before deciding never mind. Yeah...the answer is that he has a Deus Ex Machina, but more on that when we get there. Suddenly, it's lunchtime! Asuna's made more sandwiches for her and Kirito. Turns out that she's managed to recreate flavors like mayonnaise and soy sauce and this is really really not relevant to anything ain't it? I thought we already established that Asuna is a good cook. Did we really need more of this? You know, you could have devoted this time-wasting into ACTUAL development of our characters but whatever. Do what you want. And by the way, I'm not really into shipping, but Kirito and Sammich. Make it happen. Draw some pictures, write some stories, but make it popular! I'M BEGGING YOU. 
[Behold, Kirito's REAL One Twu Wub.] After that bit of Komedy, it's KLEEEEEIN AFHQIUNGOADSPFCRIPQEN. *ahem* Sorry for that. I got...excited. So, um, Klein. He's back. And awesome. And I wish this story was about him and not White Bread over here. Anyhoo, Klein notices Kirito and the two have a chat. It's here that Asuna manages to catch Klein's eye, and just now I realized that we're getting into yet another Mary Sue cliche. Everyone has to praise the Sue's Wub and how it's just the greatest Wub and OMG the Wub it's just the greatest y'all! Bite me. So, Klein is all flabbergasted over Asuna's beauty (what is with your fascination with older guys chasing underaged chicks, Show?), and we get more Komedy with Kirito punching Klein away. Of course, Klein's guild recognizes our heroine as a celebrity, and I'm starting to get very uncomfortable flashbacks to Episode Four. Klein manages to get Kirito back with a kick to the foot- God I love him- and Asuna explains that she and Her Man are in a party. Suddenly, we see another army marching towards our protagonists. Leading them is someone who has a name (and is voiced by Patrick Seitz, who also plays Agil) but since his only real trait is how dumb he is, I have given him the name General Stupidity. And for some reason, I really want to sing "Right-Hand Man" from Hamilton. Hey, look, another thing I could be doing right now if it weren't for obligations towards my readers. Anyway, when General Stupidity hears that our heroes have a map, he demands they hand it over. His reasoning is...well, let's say that Dumbass Has A Point comes into play. It pretty much amounts to "the greater good" and a silly thing called "common sense". Kirito manages to latch onto the Smart Ball and hands his map over. When General Stupidity insists on taking his visibly-exhausted army to the boss room, Kirito points out what is painfully obvious, yet they go anyway. The scene ends with Klein asking Asuna to look after the world's most bland protagonist. We cut to our heroes mowing down a few more mooks when suddenly, they hear the sound of screams! Asuna and Kirito run towards the boss room, only to see that, what a shock, General Stupidity and his army are doing pretty badly. When it turns out nobody can use their teleportation crystals, Kirito begins to flashback to Episode Three, which brings up another narrative problem. This is the first time that Kirito has thought about the Black Cats since their focus episode. We have gone for FIVE WHOLE EPISODES without even a single mention of any of the members of the Black Cats. Shows how important they were to our hero, don't it? Surprisingly enough, SAO Abridged fixed this by having Sachi's death constantly haunt Kirito throughout the series. 
[I repeat- Fridged. Woman.] Kirito then points out that every single member of General Stupidity's posse is a complete idiot. The general is then smacked around like a b***h before dying horrifically. To quote Iago from Aladdin: "Oh, there's a big surprise. That's an incredible 'I-think I'm-gonna-have-a-heart-attack-and-DIE-from-NOT-SURPRISED!'" By the way, Show, this is, like, the third time you've tried to play a serious death scene for a character who was barely onscreen. Hell, I think General Stupidity had even LESS of a prescence than Blue Leader ever did. What I'm trying to say is, stop it. Asuna then jumps into the fray, followed by Kirito and Klein. Asuna gets pimp-slapped quickly, but Kirito takes on the hellbeast while Klein and his guild look after the worn-out army. Our hero then mumbles to himself about using his Deux ex Machina before deciding "Oh, hell with it". After having his friends cover for him, Kirito reveals that he has a special ability that allows him to dual wield. Because Stu must have all the special and rare abilities and items. Okay, okay, I've been very negative so far with this post. So...the animation when Kirito defeats the boss is stellar. Like, it's gorgeous. This entire sequence is beautifully edited and shot, and I have no complaints from a technical perspective. However, I cannot ignore the fact that dual wielding is only used to get Kirito and his friends out of a deadly situation. That's pretty much the definition of a Deus ex Machina. The scene ends with Kirito's hit points almost down to zero, and with him passing out. So...he's not that immortal. We cut to Kirito regaining consciousness to the sound of Asuna crying over him. Klein exposits that only General Stupidity and two others died, then points out how stupid the general was. He then calls out Kirito on his Too Dumb to Live trait...I wish. No, Klein was talking about Kirito's sooper speshul dual wielding. Not even our hero knows how he got it. So...what I was saying. There's some more prattle about how everyone's going to be jealous and blah blah blah. Klein and his guild then leave so they can activate the warp gate. After some parting words, Asuna tells Kirito that she's ditching the guild to be with Her Man. The scene ends with Kirito being cool with it and I don't care. We then cut to Agil's shop, where he and Kirito talk about all the press that this episode's fight has been getting. Kirito whines about how now he needs to move and please shut up. Lisbeth then comes in and is Awesome because she reminds Kirito that he has nobody to blame but his own stupidity. Asuna rushes in, informing Kirito that they have a sticky situation on their hands, and the two go to headquarters, where we meet Heathcliff, voiced by Kevin M. Connolly. 
[Insert movie reference nobody gets here] WORLD'S MOST REDUNANT SPOILER: it's Kayaba. END WORLD'S MOST REDUNANT SPOILER. Anyway, Heathcliff is p****d because Kirito stole one of his underlings. If Asuna wants to quit so badly, then Kirito has to pry her out of the guild's cold, dead hands. I believe this is the part where Asuna should say: "How dare you? All of you! Standing around deciding my future?! I am not a prize to be won!" She does not say something like this. The episode ends with Kirito agreeing to duel, and now I can't stop singing "The Ten Duel Commandments". Stop reminding me of better wastes of my time. *** Well...at least there was some excitement. The animation in places is wonderful, and the English voice acting continues to be amazing. But at this point, I'm starting to feel worn out. This episode is mainly just stupid. It's stupid and contrived, but I cannot muster any hate for it because I simply cannot give a damn about the narrative. Maybe I should recap a good anime alongside this one. NEXT TIME: Akane Analyzes FLCL- 7/2 (I PROMISE THIS TIME) Akane Recaps Sword Butt Online Episode 10- 7/4 |
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Akane the Catgirl
Posts: 1091 Location: LA, Baby! |
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Akane Analyzes- A Beginner's Guide to FLCL
Hello and welcome to Akane Analyzes! You know, when you talk to someone around here about the FLCL OVA, you can divide those who've seen it into two camps: A) HURGHBLURGH IT'S SOOOO AWESOME YAAAAAS. B) i don't get it. If you've been following me for the last year or so, you probably know what group I'm in. In fact, every time I watch FLCL, I learn something new about the mad little world it created. However, I will acknowledge that this anime can be a little...hard to comb through. As in, it took me THREE viewings to even understand what the theme of the show was. Even trying to sum it up will make you sound like you're drunk and high simultaneously. 
[OMIGOD THIS IS THE GREATEST ANIME I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!] With that said, I have decided to put together this guide for viewers who've just finished the series for the first time in a desperate attempt at explaining what they just saw. THAR BE SPOILERS. This post will be spoiling the entirety of the FLCL OVA. You've been warned. Haruko and Canti- Two Sides of the Same Coin 
What I find notable about the characters of Haruko Haruhara and Canti is their relationship to our main character Naota Nandaba, both literally and metaphorically. At the beginning of the story, Haruko literally runs into Naota with her golden Vespa and blue Rickenbacker. After their initial meeting, Haruko then proceeds to make our hero's life utter hell with her prescence. She invades his personal life under the pretense of being their new housekeeper, embarrasses him both at school and at home, and refuses to leave him alone for the most part. Haruko is a sort of Peter Pan-esque figure in the narrative. She is essentially the part of Naota who isn't ready to grow up, even when he really thinks he does. She's manic and immature, yet at the end of the story, Naota can't bring himself to defeat her in battle. All he can do is acknowledge that part of himself and move on with his own life. Then there is Canti. Canti is a TV-Headed robot who first appears at the end of the first episode. He is someone who can stand in for Tasuku, Naota's older brother who is never seen on camera. He's mature, heroic, an ace at baseball, worshipped as a god neighborhood delinquent Mamimi Samejima and fawned over by Naota's own father Kamon. He is who our hero wants to be when he grows up, someone like his unseen big brother. Most interestingly, the clothes that Canti wears are very similar to that of Naota's own wardrobe. Good Old-Fashioned Sexy Times 
There are no ifs, ands, or (no pun intended) buts about it; there is no way to ignore the blatant sex metaphors in this anime. Putting aside the obvious "horns=erect dongs", (seriously, you notice that robots only come out of our hero's head when he's around attractive ladies?) there's plenty of sexuality that overflows throughout the OVA. Hell, in the fourth episode, Naota walks in on his father and Haruko- if I may be so frank- f**king like bunnies. Even the TITLE is an in-universe sexual innuendo. Now, if I haven't gone over it before (and you know I have, if you've read my recaps of SAO), then I shall say it here. I don't mind fanservice on its own. I have absolutely no problem with naked bodies of both genders onscreen. My issue is when there's no point or purpose to it. For example, I find Rebuild of EVA and Sword Art Online's fanservice annoying because it feels incredibly out of place and has no reason to be there other than for its own sake. FLCL does not have this problem. After all, the story is, at its core, one about growing up, and that includes sexual awakenings. And the show does embrace the fanservice wholeheartedly, diving into the madness of oppai and chinchins. What can I say about a story that has such self-confidence? The Ghost of Christmas Future 
In the fourth episode, Naota meets a strange man only known as Commander Amarao. He's been tracking down Haruko (or Raharu Haruha, as he calls her) for a while now, and he's determined to stop her plans to unleash the Pirate King Atomsk, which would destroy the world. He has strange mannerisms, such as his dislike of spicy and sweet foodstuffs and preference for overly sweet drinks. That's not even getting into his "compensating for something" seaweed eyebrows. You can easily trace a few similarities between Naota and Amarao. Not only do they share similar appetites, they even have similar haircuts. Towards the end of the series, Amarao also gives advice to our young hero, attempting to steer him away from the psychopathic womanchild. It's even implied that Amarao had a relationship to Haruko that was similar to her and Naota's. So what does this mean? It's actually very simple; Amarao is a future version of Naota. More specifically, Amarao represents a path that Naota would take if he never matured at all, refusing to let go of his childhood. This is reflected in the climax, where Naota is caught between Haruko and Amarao, with the latter practically begging him not to make the same mistakes he did. Conclusion 
This series is weird, no doubt about that. It's confusing, subtle as a brick flying into your face, and all around MAD. But that doesn't make it a bad series- far from it. Once you really stop and think about what FLCL is telling you, everything just clicks together and makes sense. At it's heart, this anime is a classic coming-of-age story. Unlike most other tales of that type, it stands out through clever visuals and full immersion into what it's like to go through puberty. And I can appreciate that. Thank you all for reading! Do you have anything to say about today's topic? Make sure to leave a comment afterwards so I can know what you think! See you soon! NEXT TIME: An Akane Analyzes Top Ten List- 7/10 Akane Recaps Sword Butt Online Episode 10- 7/5 *** Today's Pimp of the Week is for Not Always Hopeless! You've heard of Not Always Right, correct? That website that chronicles stories about dumb customers and stuff? Well, Not Always Hopeless collects anecdotes about the nicer side of life. Tales of kindness and generosity are what you'll find over here. If you need a reminder that not everything in the world is utter garbage, then head on over here. *** Hey guys! You know, recapping such a delightful series as Sword Butt Online can tire one out. Sometimes, you just need a reminder that there are good anime in the world. That's why I'm doing another recap so that I can keep myself from going completely nuts. Here are your three options: * Puella Magi Madoka Magica * Princess Tutu * Ouran Highschool Host Club Make sure to leave a vote during your comments so I can know which series you want me to cover the most. I'll announce the winner with my Episode 10 Recap of SBO. Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I'll see you then. |
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nobahn
 Subscriber Posts: 5120 |
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Akane the Catgirl
Posts: 1091 Location: LA, Baby! |
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@ nobahn
Thanks for your comment! The reason I continue to watch Sword Art Online isn't actually for fun (if it was, I would have dropped it at Episode Two). I guess the best way to describe my feelings towards this is that the sum of the whole is less than its parts. I can point out individual elements that I like, such as the characters of Klein and Lisbeth and the stellar animation. However, I can say for certain that the overall product is not well written in the slightest. In addition, this is an anime you watch not necessarily because it's good, but because you need to have an opinion on it. Besides, my misery makes people happy, and isn't that what matters at the end of the day? At least I have the comfort that after I finish recapping this tripe, I will never watch it again, so that's a plus. 
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Gina Szanboti
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One thing I've come to really appreciate over the years is that FLCL has one of the best dubs ever. Every last VA in this is at the top of their game. It's a real treat to listen to.
FLCL was one of the first anime I ever saw. I stumbled into it on adult swim at the episode where Haruko and Kamon are going at it. Aside from thinking, "They can do this on basic cable?" and "wtf is going on?" all I could do was watch in amaze. 
You have to remember that I saw this immediately after my first episode of Trigun, which was also not the series' first episode, and I was still wondering why no one seemed to notice that Vash frequently changed size and shape when excited or terrified.  So to say I was kinda shell-shocked by FLCL and its guitars and such springing forth like Athena, is an understatement.
I have never recovered. I vote for Ouran. |
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louis6578
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My advice is to read the Bokurano manga. It's still tragedy so it might not be your thing, but even from the start, it's phenomenally better written and drawn. Even the few things that the anime does almost word-for-word from the manga are somehow done with no effort or tact. Better to make a judgment after reading good tragedy than watching poor, rushed, thoughtless child death porn. |
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Akane the Catgirl
Posts: 1091 Location: LA, Baby! |
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Akane Recaps Sword Butt Online Episode Ten- Narm
Last time on SAO: Kirito: OH F**K A HUGE-*SS MONSTER Kirito and Asuna: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Asuna: Now that we're done running for our lives, want a sandwich? Kirito: Would I!? Mmm...Asuna sandwich is best sandwich. Asuna: By the way, why don't you use a shield? Are you hiding something from me? Kirito: Umm...look over there! It's Klein! Klein: Hey there, ladies. Kirito: Thank God you're here. Klein: Wow, you two are in love, aren't you? Asuna: Nope. Definitely not. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Narrator: Wait until next episode! Asuna: Huh? Did I hear something...? Klein and Guild: OMG YOU'RE SO HOOOOOOT! Kirito: F**k off! That's MY waifu! MINE. General Stupidity and his posse enter! General: Let's go clear the level! Kirito: But your army looks like they've barely slept in weeks. General: WHO CARES COME ON GUYS! Narrator: One, a**-thrashing later... Kirito and friends: Oh sh*t. General: That was a dumb decision. The General dies. Kirito: Oh god I just remembered that I had friends who died last year. Asuna: Female Hysteria PUNCH! The boss smacks Asuna away. Klein: Manly Muscle Kick! The boss smacks Klein away too. Asuna and Klein: Ouch. Kirito: Deus Ex Machina! The boss is smacked away by Kirito! Kirito: That was easy. Ow, my consciousness. Narrator: Three seconds later. Asuna: You idiot! Wait, aren't you immortal? Kirito: B***h, nobody's THAT immortal. Klein and Guild: Awesome Deus ex Machina, dude! Sometime later at Agil's place. Kirito: So, yeah, I keep getting all this attention and stuff. Agil: That's because you're an idiot. Lisbeth: Seconded. Asuna runs in! Asuna: Guys, we're in trouble. At the Headquarters! Heathcliff: Anyway, if you want your waifu so bad, you're going to have to win her from us. Asuna: You're all male chauvinist pigs! "Crimson Killing Intent" should have been a lot better than it actually was. There are really good parts, but there are also really BAD parts to balance things out. This is supposed to have been the emotional highlight of the series. Instead, there were certain points where I found myself unintentionally holding back laughs. This is because everything that came before this was bad, and the pacing is what really kills this. What do I mean? Let's begin exploring this noble failure. 
[This is going to be fun...] *** The episode picks up right from the last one, with Heathcliff and Kirito treating Asuna like a trophy. After our bland protagonist agrees to a duel, we cut to an arena, where seemingly every single player is coming to see them fight. Meanwhile, Asuna is chewing out Kirito over agreeing to the duel in the first place. It's here where we get exposition on Kirito and Heathcliff's sooper spehsul skills, and... I'll admit it. The twist is very well set up. You can see the laywork for the Heathcliff = Kayaba plot point right here. It's already well established that Kayaba is a big fat cheater (see Episode Two), and even his sooper dooper weapon is called "The Divine Blade". Well done, Show. You actually did a good twist. Have a cookie. We then cut back to the arena, where Heathcliff and Kirito are having some pre-battle banter. Here's another part I actually like; the duel is beautifully animated. We already know that A-1 Pictures is top-notch, but dayum, this is just...gorgeous. This sequence knows when to take shortcuts and showcase the highlights. 
[SAKUGA!] So the fight ends with...Heathcliff winning. Huh. Kirito actually loses. Still doesn't make up for the authorial favoritism, and I know the only reason our hero lost was because Kayaba is a f**king cheater, but I'll revel in this bliss as much as I can. After that, we cut to Kirito forced to wear the white uniform that Asuna's guild possesses. (Yes, SUFFER.) Asuna inquires on why Her Man does not enjoy guilds and human beings in general. Of course, Kirito explains the events of Episode Three, and I still feel nothing. Also, our hero was soloing long before he met the Black Cats, so this explanation is dumb. Kirito is just a moron. Asuna is far more sympathetic than I am and reassures Kirito that she'll protect him (and given what I know about future events HAHAHAHAHHAH). We then cut to headquarters, where we are introduced to a character voiced by Kyle Hebert. He has a name, but since he looks like Rider from Fate zero, and the fact that he exists to be killed off, I have decided to just call him Rider. Anyway, Kirito is told that he and one other guy are going to team up with Rider to clear the dungeon. Asuna protests this, but is shot down anyway. We then cut to outside the gates, where it turns out that Kirito and Rider's other partner is VPD himself. Kirito is unamused by this, but VPD apologizes for what happened two episodes prior and they make it clear he isn't sorry. Rider orders the other two to hand over their crystals for a training exercise, and cheerfully heads onwards, with VPD and Kirito unenthusiastically giving a "yay". Okay, Show, that was actually funny. Sometime later, the small group finds themselves deep in some canyons, when Rider decides to take a lunch break. Kirito briefly imagines that the roll he was given is a homemade Asuna sandwich (goddamit, Show, stop giving me shipping fuel), then takes a drink. Suddenly, oh no! Turns out VPD slipped a mickey into their bottles, which paralyzes Kirito and Rider. And...then this happens. 
[BWAAAHAHAAA!!! Oh, was I supposed to be scared? But his face is just AHAHAHA!] Sorry. I just can't. Look, Show, I know you're trying to be sooper dooper deadly serious, but...it's just funny! VPD is too over-the-top to take seriously as an antagonist! I will admit that the idea of VPD being a mole for the Laughing Coffin is a good one. My only problem is A) it wasn't foreshadowed at all and B) the execution is really bad. Let's talk about the Fullmetal Alchemist 2003 series for a second. 
The man to your right is Barry the Chopper. In his debut episode, he kidnaps our hero Edward and his lady friend Winry. He's been chopping up several women for a while, and he fully intends to kill our heroes. Barry is creepy as hell, and the scene where he has Ed and Winry at his mercy is freaking scary. What makes Barry more effective than VPD is that the former series knows not to overdo it. The writers knew how to make The Chopper utterly terrifying. It also helps that they intentionally made him one of the funnier villains of the show. VPD is only funny in the unintentional way. Kirito doesn't even act terrified so much as shocked and angry. Okay Show, give me the cookie back. Where were we? Ah, yes. Poisoning. VPD gloats over the paralyzed bodies of Kirito and Rider, commenting on how stupid the latter was to fall into his trap. VPD then proceeds to slowly hack Rider to death, outlining his alibi right before delivering the final blow. Surprisingly, out of all the We Hardly Knew Ye deaths, this is the only one I care about because at least Rider had a personality. After finishing Rider off, VPD then turns his attention to our not-scared-at-all protagonist. It's here where we get the Big Reveal about VPD being a Laughing Coffin member, and I already outlined how badly handled this was. VPD then proceeds to knife Kirito the same way he killed Rider, and we get more of that not-so-immortality that I wouldn't be complaining about if not for Episode Four. Kirito is about to accept his death before remembering his sweet, sweet Waifu, and begins to regain mobility, stuggling to keep VPD off of him. Suddenly, a wave of green slams VPD against a canyon wall! It's Asuna, and she has a healing crystal that restories Kirito's HP to full stats. She then proceeds to be Awesome, landing hit after hit on VPD, and thus reducing him to a sobbing wreck. But because Asuna is a Good Little Wimmins, she isn't allowed to defeat him. Instead, VPD distracts Asuna and KIRITO has to be the one to put down VPD for good, minus one hand that will no doubt grow back. Asuna cries and apologizes about this whole mess and she should stay away from Kirito, and then they kiss. After having nothing but mutual contempt for each other, they just get together. Just like that. Wow, they screwed the pooch over in regards to Asuna's character puuuurty quickly, didn't they? She is now a love interest, which means no more interesting possibilities. No more awesomeness. Let us grieve for the amazing female protagonist that should have been. *sob* We then cut to Asuna's place, where our heroes have just finished having dinner. Asuna then decides that she wants to do The Sex with Kirito. She even strips down to her underwear, and we get BUUUUUTT though this time, it doesn't feel out of place. Kirito does not want to do The Sex, and Asuna punches him because Komedy. Yup, screwing the pooch. I totally can't see how this could get any worse. We cut to later that night, where Asuna recounts a dream where none of this ever happened. The two have some more romantic chatter, and Kirito proposes they go away for a while. The episode ends with our hero proposing marriage to Asuna, and her saying yes. My heart remains blackened. *** HAHAHHHAHAHAHA. Man, this was just hilarious! Look, Show, I know you're trying! You're doing your best and I know you really want to be good! I can see that. But...you're trying a bit TOO hard. That's the whole problem with this episode; if it weren't for the over-the-top stuff with VPD, this would have been on par with the First Episode, which, need I remind you, is just okay. NEXT TIME: An Akane Analyzes Top Ten List- Sometime around 7/10 Akane Recaps Sword Butt Online- Sometime around 7/9 *** Well, the people have spoken. My next Akane Recaps series is going to be... 
[Kiss, Kiss, Fall in Love!] |
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Akane the Catgirl
Posts: 1091 Location: LA, Baby! |
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Akane Analyzes- Top Ten Anime Things Akane Won't Ever Cover
Hello and welcome to Akane Analyzes! You know, we all have our limits. There's just some things that you're never, ever, ever, EVER going to do. Some people will never eat brussels sprouts. Others will never go bungee jumping. For me? I have put together this list of anime series and so on that I am never going to analyze or recap. You will not be seeing them here. Never. I adamantly refuse to write about them. What are they? Let's find out! In no particular order... 1. Hentai 
Hahahhahhahaha do you want my account to be banned? I don't even watch hentai. Just...no. And speaking of hentai... 2. Any anime blacklisted off TV Tropes 
So these are the anime that technically aren't pornographic, but are just slightly erotic enough to be labeled NSFW. I'm talking about Kodomo no Jikan, Urotsukidouji, The Qwaser of Stigmata, Eiken, etc. I haven't seen any of these titles and I am not particularly interested in seeking them out. Moving on. 3. Akane Recaps Fate/stay Night 2006 
Okay, so I just thought this anime was okay. I really don't think I'd make a recap of this interesting or insightful. If I haven't made my thoughts clear earlier, the only part of the Nasuverse franchise I care about is a prequel novel that wasn't even written by Nasu himself. MAYBE I'll do a recap of the fan-disowned adaptation of Tsukihime, but only if enough people want me to do it. 4. Akane Analyzes Death Note: Is Light Yagami Good or Evil? 
Jacob Chapman did it. He did it better than I could. At this point, I'd be beating a dead horse. And anyone who tries to debate me on this issue will be kindly asked not to comment here again. Okay? Okay. 5. Cross Ange 
Pretty much every anime reviewer I follow hates this thing. I haven't seen it, but based on what my friends have told me, I don't want to. Let's just say the only way you are ever going to get me to write up this series is if you paid me a million dollars...per episode. No. 6. Akane Analyzes Cat Soup 
I've only seen this anime once. I have no opinion on it. I mean...I'm not really sure what the hell this is even about. I don't think I can properly analyze this thing. I don't even. Maybe I'll do a recap special, but that's highly unlikely. 7. Akane Recaps Gundam or Macross 
Okay, story time! You ever heard of this guy named Mark Oshiro? He runs a blog wherein he goes through books and TV shows and reviews it by chapter/episode. One of the TV series he is never going to review or even watch in his spare time is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. This was because of how badly he was treated by Bronies who frequented his blog. That's me and both franchises up above. I don't want that kind of attention cluttering my thread. No thank you. 8. Akane Recaps Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, etc. 
THEY'RE. TOO. LONG. Rule of thumb is that if an anime is over one-hundred episodes long, it won't be recapped here. 9. Akane Analyzes: FMA VS. Brotherhood 
Everyone's done it. I've only seen the first series, but even if I have, that doesn't change the fact that everyone's done it. When I do eventually recap the first anime, I'll try to avoid as many references to it's remake as I can. I'd be inviting trouble otherwise. 10. Akane Analyzes: Is X an anime? 
Tristan Arkada (Glass Reflections) did this. You should really go watch that particular video instead if you want more information. I'm not the right person to answer this question. And that's all there is to say about that. I've been feeling a little tired lately, and I feel like I wouldn't be able to deal with any sort of backlash to this list. Anybody who has any unkind thoughts in regards to this should keep those thoughts to themselves. Please. Then again, if I've learned anything over the past almost-year or so, it's that I can depend on you guys not to fuss over the small things. Thank you all for reading. NEXT TIME: Akane Analyzes TBD: ??? Akane Recaps Sword Butt Online Episode 11- 7/13 |
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Gina Szanboti
Posts: 11349 |
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Do you have a link for that? I went through his list of 160 posts on YT and couldn't spot it. Google just gives me things like Mysterious Girlfriend X and Hunter x Hunter.
Feel better! |
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nobahn
Subscriber Posts: 5120 |
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Are you talking about fans of Superdimensional Fortress Macross or fans of the entire franchise? (excluding Robotech) Just curious, is all. 
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Akane the Catgirl
Posts: 1091 Location: LA, Baby! |
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@ Gina Szanboti
The video is titled "Frost Bite: The Definition of Anime". You'll have to do some scrolling, but it's there! @nobahn The franchise in general. I feel like I should elaborate more on the entry you brought up; I try my best not to target fans because it feels wrong to insult someone based on what they like. However, my initial impressions of the American mech fandom (I'm sure the Japanese are fine sports) are...not good. At all. I don't really want to talk about it here because I do have friends who are mech fans. Besides, it's a very long story and I feel I should be spending more time on the stuff I do want to watch. Thanks for your comments! I'll try to get another post up this week. |
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Gina Szanboti
Posts: 11349 |
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Found it. I thought the question was "Is X an anime?" and I couldn't understand why there would be any question, let alone controversy about that, since both the movie and series are inarguably anime.
Fwiw, I'm of the made in Japan by Japanese mindset ("made in" excluding outsourcing - The Simpsons isn't a Korean cartoon). Avatar and RWBY are anime-like, or at best, Western anime, with the qualifier needed. His argument for why the term breaks down is moot - at least until such time as a Japanese company actually does pick up shop and move to the US along with their native Japanese staff, or a Western animation company sets up in Japan with an American staff. Those things just don't happen, and it would be all but impossible for them to happen in that way. Get back to me when it happens and we can talk. |
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Beltane70
 Posts: 3883 |
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I'm just kind of curious why you would let fans turn you off from watching enjoying any type of genre/medium. I'd actually be pretty interested to see how you would analyze a Macross series, to be honest!
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louis6578
Posts: 1861 |
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So, Akane. I'm not asking you to do an FMA vs FMAB (because it's flame war bait and people are incapable of accepting opinions which differ from their own), but are you going to analyze FMAB at some point? On its own merits of course.
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Akane the Catgirl
Posts: 1091 Location: LA, Baby! |
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@Beltane70
For the same reason that people think of Mel Gibson as an anti-semitic nutcase instead of a good actor. When you're in public, especially in the internet age, people are going to be paying attention to your persona. In other words, if you give people a bad impression based on your character, not only will they hate you, they'll associate your products/cause/whatever with your horrid behavior and thus will be unable to enjoy your work. This is also the reason I refuse to consider myself a part of the Death Note fandom, due to their seven o'clock evening news headlining antics. I do believe I've made myself clear, and I would prefer to put the kibosh on this whole topic because I promised my friends I'd be nice. Also, I believe I said I'd never recap Gundam or Macross. I never said I wouldn't analyze any particular aspects from either franchise. Though don't expect me to write up anything in the next few years. @louis6578 Maybe! If I find something interesting to talk about, I'll write a post on Brotherhood. I've heard of good things, though my heart will forever belong to the first series. Anything's possible!
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