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A Brief Introduction to Ouran Highschool Host Club

Hello, readers, and welcome to my recap of Ouran Highschool Host Club! Now, before we can dive right into the series, I felt that I should write up a brief intro into the series, including my experiences with it and my thoughts on shoujo in general. See, this anime is kind of special because you need to know quite a few things before we begin. Here we go!

The Parody Aspects

Now, while it's not necessary to know this, it helps if you know that Ouran is a parody of the number one most successful shoujo manga of all time, Hana Yori Dango. (or Boys Over Flowers, if you want). So I decided to both read up on and read the actual manga itself so I could try and compare the two stories. The key word here is try. Here are some select thoughts I had while reading the first few chapters before I ragequit.

* Good lord, why is everyone here an a**hole?
* Someone call the Stupid Baby Name Police on Tsukushi's parents.
* This story is so meanspirited that I can't stomach this.
* Rape!? NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.
* Congratulations, Tsukasa Kiryuu, you're an irredeemable son of a b***h.
* Also, your hair is awful.

So, yeah, it would help if someone who actually read a lot more of the original manga than I had to offer some insight into the parody part. Instead, I settled on consulting Ye Old Tome of Shoujo Tropes and Cliches, as well as what memories I had of reading Tokyo Mew Mew, which has a pretty standard shoujo romance B-plot as far as I know.

What are Host Clubs?

I recommend reading the TV Tropes page for it, but to sum it up? It's a PG female-oriented version of a strip club and other seedy places. It's a place where female customers can relax and be doted on by hot dudes, sort of like maid cafes but with guys. No actual sex goes on here, so it's all good, but these sorts of places are really for women eighteen and up. I'm not good at explaining this further, so go do your own research if you want to get into the nitty gritty.

Dub or Sub?

Dub. I usually default to English anyway with rare exceptions, but the dub is one of the best Funimation has offered. I'll go into standouts along the way, but rest assured this is an all-star cast that gives it their all.

Any Special Counts?

Fine.

Funny Aneurysm Moment: Yeah, there are a lot of jokes here that become really unfunny when you find out certain things about the characters. It's like the writers thought to themselves "Hmm...nice joke you got there. Let's see how depressing we can make it in hindsight." This count is for whenever you see something played for laughs and on rewatch just want to cry.

We'll start with just one for now, and I'll probably add in more as we go along.

My Personal Thoughts

Well, you all know by now that this one's one of my favorites and that I very much like forward to watching this again. I don't even know how many times I've mentioned my love of Tamaki Suoh, who is The Best. What makes this one special to me, though, is that underneath the wacky comedic antics and zany plots is a surprisingly heartfelt tale about the importance of family, both the one that's blood-related and the one that's by choice. Also, the guy doing headwriting for the adaptive script also wrote FLCL, and you can tell at certain points that it's him.

So, that's it for now! I'll see you soon with my thoughts on the first episode! Take care.

Akane the Catgirl wrote:

No actual sex goes on here, so it's all good...

Well, not all good, if you've seen the documentary The Great Happiness Space. Sad

That Ouran is set in high school (so the characters just drink coffee and tea) is actually a blessing for once. Smile

Important Update!

Hey everybody!

Hey, Akane, where have you been?

Moving across half the world, that's where. We're finally in our new house, and we're trying to settle back into a normal routine. My family and I have been visiting relatives, going to old places we hadn't been to in three years, and camped out at both a hotel and then my grandparents' house in Palm Desert.

That's nice and all, but we'd like some reading material.

I know you do, and that's why I'll be posting that Kiyohiko Azuma Feminist Analysis post tomorrow. Expect my first Ouran recap up sometime in the next week, and then the beginning of my SAO Fairy Dance recap a little after the former.

Fairy Dance? Uh oh. Sounds like trouble.

Actually, I'm looking forward to sporking that delightful little thing. I have an arsenal of Starbucks Frappucinos and Dover Boys jokes to keep myself from going nuts.

Great! See you tomorrow?

I guess so. Thanks for your patience, everybody! Oh, and extra thanks to Gina Szanboti for her insights on host clubs, as well as a documentary recommendation. You're awesome.

I've added a link to this thread in the stickied Anime Hunting thread. Now you'll never be forgotten. Cool

Akane Analyzes: A Feminist Take on Kiyohiko Azuma

Hello, and welcome to Akane Analyzes! So, today we're going to do another feminst-

[HIIIIIIISSS!]

...ahem. Today, we're going to do an analysis of the works of Kiyohiko Azuma from a feminist perspective. For those of you who aren't familiar with the name, Azuma's two most famous works are Azumanga Daioh and the manga Yotsuba&!, the former arguably being the pioneer of slice-of-life moe sitcoms. However, I haven't really seen people talk about these stories as related to gender politics. So, to answer the question, how do the works of Kiyohiko Azuma measure up from a feminist viewpoint?

Well...I wouldn't say they're deliberately feminist, but both works are certainly feminist-friendly. Allow me to elaborate.

The Moe Problem

This is a still from KyoAni mega-hit K-On. Now, while my sole experience with this is listening to the opening and ending from the first season, I do know enough from my friends that the series can be considered...problematic. Let's be honest for a second; do you honestly think high school girls act like the members of Afterschool Tea Time? In most cases, no. They don't. This is how thirty-year-old Japanese men think Japanese schoolgirls act.

Often, the biggest problem moe-detractors have is that the girls in these sorts of shows aren't so much people as cute pets. The women fit into easily marketable archetypes. She's cute and clumsy- that's her personality. Or she's hot-tempered and tsundere- that's her personality. Or she's a nerd, just like you, twenty-something male! You get the idea. The girls in your average slice-of-life aren't allowed to be, you know, characters.

Now let's discuss how the women in treated in Azumanga Daioh.

The Girls of AzuDai

Here's a little test for all you aspiring writers; you're on a train when suddenly, [Insert Name of Character Here] sits right next to you. You have a small conversation with them lasting about ten minutes before one of you gets off. Write that conversation without mentioning X's physical appearance or their role in society/the plot. If you can make it to ten minutes without any of the above, then congratulations, you've written a well-rounded character.

With the female characters from this anime, I guarantee that most of the female characters (with few exceptions) would pass this test with flying colors. It may help that this was written in the late 90s, before moe slice-of-life was really a thing to be exploited by the market, but there's something refreshingly human about these girls. You can't pigeonhole them into the usual stereotypes because they aren't stereotypes.

Sakaki, to me, is a standout in regards to the breaking of stereotypes. At first glance, she just appears to be your standard mystery girl who doesn't emote much. However, her main shtick is that in spite of her physical appearance, she's actually quite feminine and wants only to pet kitties without scaring them off. That's probably why she's my favorite of the AzuDai girls, followed by the rambunctious Tomo.

The Girls of Yotsuba&!

Now, if you've seen AzuDai, you've probably noticed that ninety percent of the cast is made up of women. Of course, we all know that this is because this was aimed at a male demographic, and men get in the way of cute girls. This is not the case for Yotsuba&!, which is fairly balanced in terms of gender. There's our heroine Yotsuba, the Ayase sisters next door, and drop-in Miura, but we also have Yotsuba's father, his friend Jumbo, and Yotsuba's archnemesis Yanda as major characters.

Additionally, Yotsuba is interesting from a feminist perspective in how she is presented. Yotsuba Koiwai is a character who does not conform to how the average Japanese person thinks a little girl should behave. Her clothing and her hobbies are fairly gender-neutral, and a lot of her adventures are the sorts of situations that both boys and girls can relate to. In essence, Yotsuba is a child first and a girl second. You can even switch her gender and almost nothing important would change.

Of course, the other female characters are represented well too. The Ayase sisters all have distinct personalities, from precocious and responsible Ena to cool and easygoing Asagi. Boys in general are not the number one priority for the women, and you can't say they're defined by their physical appearances either. Overall, the ladies of Yotsuba are a breath of fresh air in a genre that doesn't allow for much diversity in terms of personality.

Conclusion

Was Kiyohiko Azuma deliberating writing a feminist messages into his works. No, not at all. There's no explicit girl power messages to be seen in any of the episodes or chapters of these stories. Then again, neither AzuDai nor Yotsuba were intended to be message-heavy stories. They exist mostly to provide laughs and light entertainment.

I think why people are so attracted to Azuma's works is that, to paraphrase Doug Walker's comments on A Charlie Brown Christmas, there's no bullsh*t. You're just watching these people living their lives, whether it be in your average high school or a run-of-the-mill suburb. The characters in these stories aren't men or women, but real people you can find outside your front door. It's not the crowning achievement of feminism, but you can't call it sexist.

Thank you all for reading! Do you have anything to add? Leave a comment below! See you soon!

NEXT TIME: Akane Analyzes Song Lyrics- ???
Akane Recaps Ouran Episode 1- Soon
Akane Recaps SBO Episode 14- Soon

Akane Recaps Ouran Episode One- In Which Our Heroine Becomes a B***h

So you're probably wondering why I haven't been putting much work out there like I promised.

[I hate everything.]

Regardless of my right arm being in pain (no, I didn't break it, it justs hurts a lot), I have a duty to serve the fans who voted for this. Back on topic. "Starting Today, You are a Host!" is definitely one of the better first episodes I've seen in anime. It's creative, it's clever, it lets you know everything you need to know about the characters and plot, and it's just plain funny. I can't wait to get started, guys!

***

First off, let's talk about the awesome opening theme song...in Japanese. "Sakura Kiss" is great, with relevant lyrics about ambivalent feelings towards the song's subject, as well as a catchy tune. The animation is also wonderful, with creative staging and visuals to complement the song. Chieko Ochi is also pretty good on her part, and she does have some pretty good credentials. Shame the same thing can't be said about the English singer, who is not very good at her job. And for the record, I listened to the English version first.

Anyway, the series starts off with a shot of the Ouran Academy clocktower. We then cut to a certain protag watching the other (and far richer) students from behind the library entrance. As our heroine wanders the hallways for a place to study, she thinks: "This place has four library rooms. You'd think one of them would be quiet."

This is Haruhi Fujioka, voiced by Caitlin Glass. Let's consult Ye Olde Tome of Shoujo Cliches to see what makes Haruhi unique. *ahem* "Thy protagonist shalt be clumsy and cute. Her flaw is that she doth eat a lot." Hmm...well, Haruhi kind of got the third part down pat. Otherwise, she's the Japanese equivalent of Daria. She's great in every way you can imagine.

Anyway, Haruhi stops to look out the window at some passing doves, then thinks "How are things in Heaven, Mom?" Yeah, Haruhi's mother's been dead for ten years now, and yes, this is important. Haruhi briefly gives us her negative impression of the spoiled students, then encounters the third music room. Just as she thinks she's finally found a place to study in peace, a flurry of rose petals escapes from the room. This is when we meet...them.

After we cut from the title card, we get a narration from my hasubando over shots of our setting: "Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful."

This is my one true love Tamaki Suoh, voiced by Vic Mignogna. (Side Note: If any one of you tries to bring up the moral character of Mignogna himself or what you think of him personally, I will politely ask you not to comment on this thread ever again. We clear?) Anyway, I love him with all my heart. He's hilarious and charming, but also dorky and goofy. I want to marry someone like him in real life.

Back to the story. Haruhi is quite flabbergasted to see that she just wandered into a bunch of hot guys. The hosts think she's a dude due to the way she looks- frumpy sweater, short hair, husky voice, all that. A pair of orange-haired twins in particular mention that she's their classmate, though because of her standoffishness, they don't know anything about her (not even that she's a woman).

These two are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. Hikaru is voiced by Todd Haberkorn, and Kaoru is voiced by Greg Ayres. Now, normally, one voice actor would be cast to play both twins. This is not the case for the Hitachiins on both sides of the Pacific. This is because doing so would miss the entire point of their (very, very depressing) character arc. I'll go into it as we move along.

Of course, not everyone stays ignorant for too long. One particularly handsome member with black hair and glasses catches onto Haruhi's unintentional secret almost immediately. Okay, here's a clever visual this anime has. Every time one of the host club members figures out that Haruhi is a girl, one of six lightbulbs turns on. This makes my movie buff self very happy.

The bespectacled boy in question is Kyouya Ootori, voiced by the amazing J. Michael Tatum. He may start out as, well, a jerk, but we see later on that Kyouya has a very tragic side to him. Let's just say he has familial and trust issues up the wazoo. But we'll get to that when we get to that!

Kyouya then welcomes our heroine to the host club and addresses Haruhi as an honor student. Apparently, she's already become quite popular because Tamaki recognizes her by name. Meanwhile, Haruhi, of course, is still trying to scram before wacky hijinks can happen to her. It's here that we also see Tamaki's fascination with commoners/poor people. Being a naive twit, though, he treats her in an overly patronizing manner, and she attempts to leave before a tiny pair of arms pulls her back.

Here's Mitsukuni "Honey" Haninozuka, voiced by Luci Christian. Fun Fact! The first time I watched this series, I was also going through my first run with FMA 2003. It was really awkward to hear Christian both as the resident male-loli here and a psychotic zombie child over there, especially because she uses the same voice for both. Anyway, Honey is adorable, but don't p*ss him off. Seriously, just don't.

Anyhoo, Honey then addresses Haruhi with the overly-familiar cutesy-wootsy nickname of "Haru-chan", which ticks her off. Tamaki makes a side remark that Haruhi must be overly-gay to our heroine's confusion, then asks her what sort of guys she's into. He introduces a rather tall man (I'll introduce him soon enough) as "the strong silent type", Honey as "the boy lolita", the twins as "the mischievous type", and Kyouya as "the cool type". Then, as he playfully flirts with our heroine, she steps back aaaaaand knocks a really expensive vase to the ground, shattering it into itty bitty pieces.

Oh by the way, if you're watching this episode for the first time, you may have noticed a flashing arrow pointing to said vase. Yes, this is the payoff.

Moving on. The twins helpfully inform Haruhi that the now broken Renaissance vase was supposed to be auctioned off starting at eight million yen. (That would be eighty thousand US dollars for you Yanks). Despite Haruhi offering to pay them back, she's so poor that she can't even afford a uniform. So Tamaki declares that she'll work off the debt by becoming the host club's b***h. Suffice to say, Haruhi is not pleased.

We cut to sometime during Host Club operating hours. Tamaki is a natural at pleasing the ladies, but one particularly catty redhead inquires about Haruhi. Our heroine then walks in with a bag full of groceries, among them a jar of Not!Nescafe. Tamaki is quite interested by the concept of instant coffee, as are the fellow naive and sheltered ladies. He decides to give it a try and have a cup of the Not!Nescafe, to the applause of the clients and to Haruhi's dismay. Then we get another fairly b***hy remark from the redhead (voiced by Leah Clark).

Anyway, Haruhi is forced to put on a show out of making a cup of instant coffee. It's here we get to see the hosts' charm points. Tamaki seductively offers to let one nervous young lady drink coffee mouth to mouth, Hikaru and Kaoru play up the twincest:

Funny Aneurysm Moment: 1

Yes, this stops being funny around halfway through the series. Honey is super cute, his guardian Mori is super protective, and together, they are super gay.

This is Takashi "Mori" Morinozuka, voiced by Travis Willingham. This character is really at his strongest when paired with Honey. (Okay, so I ship those two pretty badly- sue me.) There's a really great episode with them together that made me squee so hard. Oh, I got bit off-topic there, did I?

Haruhi is suprised by the fact that Honey is about two years older than her. Kyouya steps in and analyzes the strengths of the Honey and Mori couplet before the former walks up to her. Or rather, jumps on to and swings around her like a monkey. Honey cheerfully asks our heroine to cake, and when that doesn't work, asks her to hold his beloved bunny Usa-chan. Of course, Haruhi cannot resist the cute, and that's when the lightbulb goes on for Honey.

Kyouya then gives Haruhi a tutorial on the host club, explaining how each host uses his individual qualities to entrance the ladies. Tamaki himself is president- or King, as he puts it- while Haruhi is b***h for the rest of her high school career. Oh, and the Ootori family has a private police force-

Funny Aneurysm Moment: 2

That's for the finale. So Haruhi can't quit or cheat her way out of the debt. Tamaki then worms his way in and sneaks up on our heroine. He offers to give Haruhi a makeover so she can be more presentable, but she politely declines, stating that those sorts of things are low on her list of priorities. Tamaki then proceeds to pompously lecture her about the importance of teh purties and teh fancy, with Haruhi more focused on what sort of word matches Tamaki the best. She settles on "obnoxious".

[I'd make a joke about playing the world's smallest violin, but chances are he already has it.]

Haruhi does admit, however, that the little lesson he gave her did strike a chord with her. Tamaki is delighted to hear this, but the twins remind him that Haruhi won't get too far if "he" doesn't look presentable. Hikaru takes off Haruhi's glasses, only for the boys to realize that-

Well, after that, Tamaki makes charge in giving Haruhi "his" fabulous makeover. The twins spirit "him" away to the dressing room, Kyouya calls Tamaki's hairstylist, Mori picks up some contact lenses, and Honey...eats cake. Meanwhile, the twins attempt to change Haruhi into the men's uniform, only for her to kick them out herself. Both get lightbulbs as they realize what possible motivation "he" could have for doing such a thing.

We cut to later that evening, as Honey has demolished the entire cake he was given. Haruhi, of course, successfully passes as a beautiful man, and Tamaki squees over "his" cuteness. The host club gets the idea to promote Haruhi to fulltime host, and Tamaki himself gives our heroine a test. If she can get one hundred customers to request her service, they'll forget all about that debt.

Despite Haruhi's discomfort at the idea of charming beautiful girls, it turns out she's quite the natural. She wins over her clients by telling them about her homelife, more specifically, about her mother's passing and how it was fun making said mother's recipes. Already, our heroine has managed to win three customers, but the redheaded alpha b***h is not pleased. The girl (who is named Ayanokouji) is starting to get a little peeved that her boo is paying more attention to Haruhi, who is a poor.

Tamaki is entranced by Haruhi's moe moe qualities (and each second, I am convinced that he is not entirely straight). Our heroine cries for help, and Mori sweeps her out of Tamaki's "And I Shall Call Him George" bear hug. It is here that he gets the lightbulb moment. But uh oh, Ayanokouji grows increasingly jealous as she watches Tamaki coo over the peasant boy.

We cut to some time later, as Haruhi discovers that somebody dumped her stuff into the campus pond. In a well-directed sequence, Haruhi races to get her belongings when she passes by the alpha b***h herself, all in shadow. Ayanokouji attempts to scare off Haruhi, and Haruhi correctly guesses she was the one who stole her personal items. As she searches for her wallet, Tamaki comes by to chastise her for skipping out on the club, only to recognize quickly what's going on when he wonders why she's in the pond. Like the gentleman he is, he joins Haruhi in searching for said wallet, not even caring that he's getting wet.

I love you, Tamaki. So damn much.

[And I love you too, whoever you are!]

So Tamaki finds the wallet, then wonders how her bag could have ended up in the pond anyway. Haruhi, not wanting the boys to get involved, lies that it must have accidentally been dropped in there. Later, we see Haruhi and Ayanokouji on a one-on-one session, commenting on how she'd have no idea to what to do if she was in Haruhi's situation. Our heroine doesn't understand why the redheaded b***h would request her until she tries to intimidate her once more.

What happens next is nothing short of glorious. First, Haruhi knocks over their table, seemingly by accident. As Ayanokouji screams for help and accuses Haruhi of attacking her, the twins instead pour water from empty flowerpots onto them both. Then, as Tamaki helps Ayanokouji up, he tells her off for her poor behavior and bans her from the host club. Of course, since Haruhi did intentionally humiliate another customer, her quota has been moved to one thousand customers.

Finally, we cut to Haruhi changing out of her wet uniform. Tamaki brushes aside the curtain, only to see that the new cute boy is actually a new cute girl. The last of the six lightbulbs turn on, and a whole bunch more light up to spell out the kanji for "woman". Tamaki is quite embarrassed to realize Haruhi's not secret (she herself doesn't care about what gender she represents), and our heroine decides to make do with her situation. "I'll just call everyone 'dude' and 'bro' now." she says with a laugh, and the episode ends. (By the way, the ending theme is called "Sprint", and while the English is fine, the Japanese is far better).

***

Well, that was...great! This is an excellent start to an excellent anime. The characters are likable, the emotions hit their exact timing, and the technicals are on par with what you'd expect from Studio Bones. I love these people, and by the end of the series, you'll love them too. Oh boy oh boy, I can't wait to see more!

COUNTS:

Funny Aneurysm Moment: 2

NEXT TIME: Akane Recaps Ouran Episode Two- Soon
Akane Recaps SBO Episode Fourteen- Soon
Akane Analyzes Song Lyrics- Soon

Off topic now, but I thought I'd tell you that I heard the most accurate description of Kirito's personality ever! It's not even that he's a poorly written, annoying character. He's inconsistent. Someone described him as being "Three different archetypes fighting for control of the same body."

@louis6578

Thanks for the comment! I did bring up the lack of consistency in regards to Kirito in my final thoughts on the Aincrad arc. Actually, now that you reminded me of it, here's another problem I had. Okay, let's pretend that after Episode Fourteen, there was no more show. That's it. The story is over, complete, DONE.

Now, who is Kirito outside of the game? I don't know. We rarely get any idea as to who our hero is as Kazuto Kirigaya. Personally, I feel starting the story out in SAO was a huge mistake on the writer's part. If we'd spent the first half of the first episode detailing who Kirito is in reality, then not only would we be given a reason to care, it would have given us desperately needed context for the rest of the series.

By the way, my next post will be the beginning of Fairy Dance recaps. You have no idea how excited I am to dissect this disaster that even the fans hate. Twisted Evil

The interesting thing about the twins is that the dub actors were never in the booth at the same time, yet even when speaking in unison, they're always spot on. Had they had the same VA, they would have had to "unsync" them to make it clear both were speaking at once.

Akane the Catgirl wrote:

@louis6578

Thanks for the comment! I did bring up the lack of consistency in regards to Kirito in my final thoughts on the Aincrad arc. Actually, now that you reminded me of it, here's another problem I had. Okay, let's pretend that after Episode Fourteen, there was no more show. That's it. The story is over, complete, DONE.

Now, who is Kirito outside of the game? I don't know. We rarely get any idea as to who our hero is as Kazuto Kirigaya. Personally, I feel starting the story out in SAO was a huge mistake on the writer's part. If we'd spent the first half of the first episode detailing who Kirito is in reality, then not only would we be given a reason to care, it would have given us desperately needed context for the rest of the series.

By the way, my next post will be the beginning of Fairy Dance recaps. You have no idea how excited I am to dissect this disaster that even the fans hate. Twisted Evil

I know what sort of person he is. Whatever you want him to be. He's a self-insert, wish-fulfillment gamer nerd who attracts women and is immediately great at everything (even hacking a game from the inside to save an AI).

You know how on ANNcast, Zac and Jacob did a commentary on Itsudate My Santa and wondered if that was anyone's "favorite" anime? Well, I wonder if Kirito is anyone's favorite character. I see the appeal of SAO as a show, but even with wish fulfillment characters, I've seen far better.

When you think about it, it can be argued that Light Yagami, Lelouch, and even Saitama are wish-fulfillment characters, yet they're also interesting and fun to watch outside of that. I know Light Novels are infamous for having poor protagonist writing, but when Baccano and Durarara, as well as Fate/Zero, Full Metal Panic, and Amagi Brilliant Park were also based off of Light Novels and had amazing character writing, it's not a standard to hide behind.

Akane Recaps Sword Butt Online Episode Fifteen- The Beginning of NOPE

Last time on SAO:

Kirito: Well, glad we got THAT over with.
Asuna: But we lost fourteen of our men in that fight. AND we're only three-quarters done with the game.
Everyone: F**k.
Kirito: KAYABA YOU A**HOLE!
Heathcliff: Yes?
Kirito: Wait, you're Kayaba?
Heathcliff: Last time I checked.
Kirito: You...cheated.
Heathcliff: Correct.
Kirito: And you took us hostage.
Heathcliff: Indeed.
Kirito: Every horrible thing that happened in here is your fault!
Heathcliff: Absolutely none of that was false.
Super paralyzing powers, activate!
Everyone but Heathcliff: What the hell!?
Heathcliff: You know what? Fair's fair. You can live. I'm just gonna chill out on the last floor until you guys get there. 'Kay?
Kirito: I bet I could beat you right now!
Heathcliff: If you insist. You win and I'll let everyone go.
Kirito: Deal!
Asuna: Kirito, you idiot!
Kirito and Heathcliff fight, but alas, the latter is too strong!
Asuna: Why do I have to do all the work myself? Deus ex Machina, activate!
Asuna is slashed by Heathcliff and killed.
Kirito: No, my waifu!
Heathcliff slashes Kirito too.
Kirito: F**k everything. Well, if I'm gonna die like this, I'm taking you with me.
Kirito sticks his sword in Heathcliff.
Narrator: Sometime later!
Kirito: Argh...am I dead?
Asuna: No, the exact opposite. God said so.
Kirito: What do you mean by "God"?
Narrator: That would be me.
Kirito: Wait, YOU'RE the voice in my head!?
Narrator: Well, I had to do something to pass the time. Say, this Space Dandy show looks good. God is OUT. Peace!
Kayaba: That God fellow sure is a riot, huh?
Kirito: Kayaba you monster! What's going on!?
Kayaba: The game's being deleted now. Everyone who lives gets to go home and everyone who died is dead.
Kirito: So why did you do any of this?
Kayaba: Um...look at the time! I have some "not being alive" business to do. Bye.
Kirito: See you on the outside, Asuna?
Asuna: Sure. I hope nothing bad happens to me from now on.
The world disappears as the two hold each other. We cut to a hospital room.
Kirito: Huh? Unfamiliar ceiling. Ow, my body.
Kirito gets out of bed- painfully- and wanders the hallways for Asuna.

Well, back at it again, huh? "Return" is where Fairy Dance- the most hated of all the arcs in this show- starts. What did I think of the first episode? Boy howdy, they tried. They did. It's just that everything that came before and everything that comes after makes this episode fall flat. What am I talking about? Let's take a look.

[Meanwhile, I'll indulge myself with some cookies.]

***

We start the episode with our main couple...back in SAO. But no worries, everything is fine! They're at their honeymoon cabin, rocking on a chair, just relaxing. Then the world breaks. Asuna disappears, the cabin turns into pixels, Kirito panics, and then...he wakes up.

Two things. One: This sequence is very well-directed. Two: I appreciate that this show is trying to show that Kirito is damaged from his time spent as a hostage. HOWEVER, after reviewing this episode over, I don't think that his nightmare is a result of PTSD. (In fact, those who have seen the second season have said that the show has no idea how PTSD works). It's about his wub with Asuna.

So, thoughts on the new opening "INNOCENCE"? Meh. S'fine. Just more Kirito stuff. If I had to pick between the two openings of the first season, I vastly prefer the first.

Alright, the episode truly begins with a shot of our other heroine of Fairy Dance.

This is Suguha Kirigaya, voiced by the amazing Cassandra Lee. On her own, she's actually a very likable character. She's caring, but also tough. One would put it as "silk hiding steel", in contrast to Asuna. There is one part I'd like to talk about, however, that a lot of fans found...objectionable. We'll talk about it soon enough.

As Suguha practices Kendo that early winter morning, we cut between that to scenes from just before the SAO incident to Suguha crying over Kirito's comatose body to him talking to their mother afterwards. As she finishes up, Suguha heads back to the house, only to find Kirito on the porch. I have to say that, if I didn't know any better, I actually like the interactions between Kirito and Suguha. They feel like an actual brother and sister, teasing each other in a playful way. But I do know better, and so all I can say is "Well, you tried your best".

Anyway, the two decide to duke it out in a kendo match, just like they used to. Suguha worries that Kirito might not be up to it, but he reassures her that he's been doing rehab and will be fine. So they fight, and honestly, I really like the animation in this sequence. It's a bit tiresome to say, but A-1 Pictures is really good at animating stuff like this. Anyhoo, all is fine until Suguha strikes Kirito on the head, and she frets over accidentally hitting to hard and possibly triggering him.

Say, I really like this character. Suguha is actually pretty awesome. I like her banter with Kirito, and I like how excited she gets as she looks forward to practicing kendo with her brother just like they used to. It doesn't hurt that Cassandra Lee gives an excellent performance.

...trust me, they screw her over just like every other female character in this show eventually.

The mood suddenly shifts as we learn that Kirito is going to go visit Asuna in the hospital again. Notice how Suguha seems especially sad, though not for the reasons one initially thinks. Yeah, I'll address that when we get to a certain episode. Anyway, as Kirito heads off to the hospital, he exposits that it's been two months since everyone escaped and...

Two months? Seriously!? NO. I refuse to accept that can happen! I refuse to believe that anyone can recover from being in a two-year coma THAT quickly! Your reality is STUPID, I tell you! STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STU-

[Yeah, I've been watching One-Punch Man.]

Sorry 'bout that folks. Don't worry, it's not as bad as last time. I just needed some candy. Mmm...candy. Where were we?

Ah, yes. Hospital. Anyway, turns out that Asuna, along with 299 other players, didn't escape from the game after all. Okay, quick question. We're not going to hear about any of the trapped players other than Asuna, aren't we? Please prove me wrong. I beg you to prove me wrong.

So, Kirito mentions that Kayaba's body hasn't been found, and that some people think he's still alive and planning something with the remaining players. Then Asuna's father come in to visit, along with a certain bespectacled baddy . Yep, it's our arc villain everyone. And boy howdy did the fans hate him.

[Pictured: Coward, Bully, Cad, and Thief]

This is Nobuyuki Sugou, voiced by Todd Haberkorn. He's in line to inherit not only Daddy's money, but Asuna herself. That's right, he's her fiancee. And they're getting married in a week. Now what will our hero do!?

Okay, so I know a lot of fans HATED Sugou. And not in the love to hate way, but in the just plain hate category. I see what they mean, but at the same time, all I can do is laugh. See, this ain't the first time Sword Art Online has had a cartoonish over-the-top villain meant to be taken deadly seriously. With this, I can kick off a count called It's All The Same To Me

It's All The Same To Me: 2

This count is for everytime I encounter a problem that fans complain about, but in fact was there all along. You will start to see what I mean as we trek through Fairy Dance, but allow me to explain why I gave this two points. The first is for B***h from Episode Four. The second is for VPD from Episodes Eight through Ten.

Back to the story. Asuna's dad leaves for something important, I'm sure, and leaves our hero alone with our villain. Sugou...f**k it, he doesn't deserve that name. I'm calling him Dan Backslide. *ahem* Dan Backslide asserts his dominance over Kirito by claiming Asuna as his trophy. He then sniffs her hair because He's Evil, and states that marrying Asuna will allow him into her family's good graces. Oh, by the way, she hates him because he's a f**king creep, though nobody but him knows that.

Kirito then grabs Dan Backslide's arm before he can do anything else to Asuna. Dan Backslide acts like an entitled p***k, then exposits that maintenance of the servers of SAO went right to the Yuuki's company when the old one went bankrupt from lawsuits. He himself is in charge of R&D, which means he has Kirito's waifu on a leash. Dan
Backslide then leaves, telling Kirito to stay away from the Yuukis.

As we shall learn, Kirito's more devastated by the idea of Asuna being taken away from him than by the risk that she might never come out of her coma at all.

Oh, and here's another point.

It's All The Same To Me: 3

This arc is about Kirito and Asuna's stupid wub. Which has been a thing since Episode Eight. Just to let you know. And we're just getting started.

We cut to later that night, as Suguha knocks on Kirito's door, only to seem him being Dark and Tortured. Suguha is concerned for his well-being, seeing as he's turned the heater off, but Kirito cries over his waifu. Okay, I can understand this. Knowing that you may never be able to be with the person you love ever again is a horrifying thought. It reminds me of the time my dad had to go to the hospital for ten days and we initially had no idea what was wrong with him. BUT I know it's not about that. It's about how Kirito and Asuna can't be in wub anymore.

Oh, and kudos to Bryce Papenbrook for this scene. He's doing his best with a badly-written role and stupid-as-hell plot.

Suguha comforts her big brother and reassures him that he can't give up hope yet. We then flashback to the moment when she finds out that Kirito is her adopted cousin, on his birthday no less. I know I already brought this up eleven episodes ago, but this bears repeating. What point is there in giving Kirito this backstory? I know WHY they made him adopted. 1) AAAAANGST 2) To make Suguha being in love with him "okay".

Oh, did I spoil anything? I'll address that soon enough. Just not today.

Anyway, we also learn that Kirito is a computer prodigy because this twit has no life outside of that I swear. The flashback ends with their mom leaving Suguha alone with her comatose brother/cousin/love interest, and we cut back to now. She tucks Kirito in, then goes to sleep crying because she won't ever be able to get into his pants. The next morning, Kirito wakes her up the way most big brothers do- by poking their siblings and pulling their faces. (See, I wanted more of THIS, not what's to come). Cue lame early 2000s harem joke about Suguha's cleavage being exposed because Waifu Must Be Pure.

We then see Kirito takes Suguha's advice about not giving up to heart. Suddenly, he hears the notification for new e-mail. It's our old pal, Agil, and he's got news. He's found Asuna's location, and she appears to be in big trouble! We end on a blurred image of our heroine, with Kirito shocked at this stunning development. Oh, and our new Suguha-centric ending credits song "Overfly" is fine. That's all.

***

They're trying so hard. They are. It's actually kind of cute to see them fail so hard at what they're attempting to accomplish. This episode is just sort of...blah. I can see the writers are doing their damndest, but already, the fans are starting to see the cracks. They don't like Dan Backslide. They don't like how this is about Wub. It's only going to go downhill for everyone, folks.

Also, I'm not going to be here tomorrow because me and my family are going to Disneyland for the first time in over three years. I'll see you on Tuesday with my next post!

NEXT TIME: Akane Analyzes Song Lyrics: ???
Akane Recaps SBO Episode Sixteen: ???
Akane Recaps Ouran Episode Two: Tuesday

"...then goes to sleep crying because she won't ever be able to get into his pants." LOL. Very Happy

I also enjoyed
Kirito: So why did you do any of this?
Kayaba: Um...look at the time!

Update! (and Q&A)

Hi everyone! My Ouran Episode 2 recap is going to be a bit late due to issues with my computer. Sorry to let you down, though at this point, you really shouldn't be surprised. So how about a Q&A session while I try to work through my lack of technological finesse? Ask me anything anime-related!

Akane the Catgirl wrote:

Update! (and Q&A)

Hi everyone! My Ouran Episode 2 recap is going to be a bit late due to issues with my computer. Sorry to let you down, though at this point, you really shouldn't be surprised. So how about a Q&A session while I try to work through my lack of technological finesse? Ask me anything anime-related!

Alright, here goes...

"What is your favorite anime TV show from each decade? (Pick up to 3 in no particular order of favoritism if you'd like)"

"Who is your favorite anime character?"

"Favorite anime villain?"

"Favorite main protagonist?"

"Favorite anime OP?"

"Favorite anime ED?"

"Favorite animation studio?"

Yeah, I know. It's wasteful to ask all these favorite questions instead of something like, "what made you decide to do such hilarious and interesting analytical pieces for episodes of a show?" but I like to know others' tastes in anime. ^^ However, there is a non-favoritism question I could ask now.

"Are you enjoying Sword Art Online as entertainment despite its flaws, or is it just a frustrating/boring sit?"

@louis6578

Thank you very much for your comments! Okay, didn't I do a post like this earlier? You know what, I can update. Here I go!

Favorite Anime TV Shows By Decade (counting only shows I've completed)

The 90s (haven't seen any shows from before then and not much from this period): Sailor Moon's first season and I guess Evangelion, Cowboy Bebop and Trigun, though I need to see all three again to reconfirm that.

The 2000s (now we're getting somewhere): Princess Tutu, Paranoia Agent, Azumanga Daioh, FLCL, FMA 2003, Wolf's Rain, Ouran and I guess Welcome to the NHK, though I am definitely going to see that one again sometime soon.

The New 10s (Hell yeah!): Madoka Magica, Kill la Kill, Fate zero, Tokyo Ghoul Season One, Noragami Season One.

As for favorite movies, I did personally enjoy Akira, Redline, Summer Wars, and in regards to Miyazaki-sensei, Porco Rosso, The Wind Rises, Castle of Cagliostro, and Princess Mononoke.

Favorite Anime Characters (this includes protags)

*takes deep breath* Ken Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul, Duck and Fakir from Princess Tutu, Eva Heinemann and Dr. Tenma from Monster, Rider from Fate zero, Tamaki from Ouran Host Club, Klein and Lisbeth from Sword Art Online, Toboe from Wolf's Rain, Holo from Spice and Wolf, Edward from Cowboy Bebop, Moeka from Steins;Gate (for some reason beyond me), the girls of Madoka Magica, and if we're counting franchises that didn't originate as anime but do have entries there, Nagito Komaeda from the Danganronpa series. *gasp* I could be here all day, but those are the ones from the top of my head.

Favorite Anime Baddies

My overall favorite would be Griffith from Berserk, who is quite fascinating in his own tragic ways. Overall, I like villains who have a sense of sadness to them. For example, Lord Darcia from Wolf's Rain, Tetsuo from Akira, and Makishima from Psycho-Pass. From a less tragic perspective, there's Kyubey from Madoka Magica, Zoisite from Sailor Moon, and Nui Harime from Kill la Kill.

Favorite Anime Openings

My all time favorite is the very cliche choice of "Tank!" from Cowboy Bebop. Other noticable openings I enjoyed are "Dream Island Obsessional Park" from Paranoia Agent, "Fantasy Mythology" from Future Diary (in general Yousei Teikoku can make any bad anime tolerable), "Viva Namida" from Space Dandy, "The World" from Death Note, both Spice and Wolf openings, both Attack on Titan openings, and "to the beginning" from Fate zero. From anime I haven't seen, I'd put up Tsuritama's "Tzurezure Monochrome", Rozen Maiden's "Forbidden Game", "staple stable" and "Ren'Ai Circulation" from the Monogatari series, Umineko's "One-winged Bird", and "again" from FMA Brotherhood. Those are just the ones I could think of right now, and we'd be here all day if I listed every single song I liked.

Favorite Anime Endings

I couldn't pick a favorite like with the above. So, every Madoka Magica ending theme, "Gravity" from Wolf's Rain, "Mermaid Princess" from Chobits (I think that'll be my next Akane Analyzes), both of Ali Project's Code Geass songs, "Maiden's Policy" from Sailor Moon, both Attack on Titan ending themes, "Ride on Shooting Star" from FLCL, every Hetalia ending theme ever, "Boys and Girls" from School Rumble, and "Do You Want To?" from Paradise Kiss. From anime I haven't seen, I'd put "A Story You Don't Know" from Bakemonogatari, "Witch Activity" from Witch Craft Works, AnoHana's cover of "Secret Base", and "Don't Say Lazy" from K-On. Once again, these are the ones I could think off the top of my head.

Finally, Favorite Anime Studios

Personally, I really like Production I.G.'s innovative work (seriously, their CGI is top-notch) and Bones' crisp and clean action sequences the best. I also enjoy Trigger's cartoonish style and the better side of Madhouse. (Madhouse has two modes: AWESOME and meh.) That's really about it.

As for SAO, the Aincrad arc really is a "sum-of-the-whole-is-less-than-it's-parts" thing. My favorite episodes were Seven and Twelve for their Heroines of the Week, and only the latter was considered good by me, and that was in spite of all its gaping flaws. (Okay, so if you're wondering why I didn't comment on Kirito's sooper hacking skills, it's because I don't know sh*t about computers and just assumed he mashed a bunch of buttons randomly. Though even if you don't understand what's going on, it's still the classic Marty Stu "things always go right for the protag, even when they shouldn't".) Episodes Eight and Eleven were boring because I didn't care about the main romance between the leads. Episode Four I consider the worst on principle because not only is it useless filler, it's where I consider the show to have jumped the shark by revealing what it wanted to be about. Episode Three is the one I hate the most because of how much potential it wasted to get to said stuff it wanted to be about. And the first and last episodes are just okay. Now for Fairy Dance, you all will just have to wait and see my thoughts on those...

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