Forum - View topicThis Week in Anime - Is After the Rain's Forbidden Romance Worth Rooting For?
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Blood-
 Bargain Hunter Posts: 23769 |
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The world is a big place and I have no doubt that there may be large age gap relationships out there that are perfectly healthy for both parties. However, the sad reality is that most age gap relations - especially between an older male and a much younger female (which most age gap relations are) are exploitative. It's usually a case of a financially successful male exchanging his wealth for her youth and beauty. And it can easily be even more coercive than that where the older male uses various pressure tactics, takes advantage of a very young woman's lack of experiece, etc, to get what he wants. Other reasons why there is a negative association for these age gap arrangements is that in many cases it's an older guy ditching his "roughly same age" wife in favour of a much younger model. I get your view that "every case should be judged on its own merits" but it's inevitable when you see a preponderance of negative examples of a situation to have an immediate distaste for it. |
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Lemonchest
Posts: 1771 |
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Speaking anecdotally, the first question that usually comes up in conversation when there is a large age gap is "what was [older person] doing with [younger person] to begin with?" The answer tends not to be "they just happened to meet & hit it off." & it's not just when romance is involved. In this instance, the premise is barely legal teenager falls in love with her boss. The question isn't "why might she?" because young love is stupid & all that, but "why would he instigate/reciprocate?" when he's old enough to, in theory, know better.
Normally, that setup is used for a predatory or codependent romance where a naive young girl is overwhelmed by the advances of a suave, sexy older man with questionable intentions &/or a hidden fragility that only she can get through to & fix (& isn't it cool that the desirable older guy noticed me, who is totes more mature & different from other girls, over everyone else?). Here, they seem instead to be going for the adorable doofus - with a son young enough to still "need" a mother - who only she can see the "manly" side of & learns that actually family life isn't all that bad. Funny that an industry run by a lot of single, older men that make shows about teenage girls would be making shows about teenage girls falling in love with likeable, older men. |
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Actar
 Posts: 1074 Location: Singapore |
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Jeez, when did we all become so cynical? Whatever the case, I will continue to support any relationship where both parties strive to make things work out without casting premature judgment. Reality is not black and white. Morals are not absolute. Love takes many forms. I respect others too much and don't believe myself conceited enough to dictate what they should or shouldn't do. To a certain extent, I still maintain the belief that we've gone too far as a culture to demonize and vilify anything that falls outside the realm of normalcy and in our overprotection, valorization and fetishization of the young.
That's my philosophy. Feel free to disagree, of course. |
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Blood-
Bargain Hunter Posts: 23769 |
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I do. I will always suspect that a relationship between, say, a 17-year-old girl and a 45-year-old man involves some level of exploitation as opposed to being this comptelely healthy, equal arrangement. There really is only reason 99.9 per cent of 45-year-old men would want to be with a 17-year-old girl and it ain't out of deep respect for her personhood. To think otherwise strikes me as being spectacularly naive.
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Chrysostomus
Posts: 335 |
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Cordelia LeFay
Posts: 13 |
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I just took my 17 year old cousin-in-law to visit some college campuses this past Christmas and my youngest uncle is about 50 years old and the idea of them being in a relationship together is rather laughable. He can barely keep up with his own 11 year old daughter! LOL
I mean, I love my cousin, she's smart, successful and she's going to go far in life. But she's also 17 and has never lived on her own, and she's still very much a child in a lot of ways. |
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Blood-
Bargain Hunter Posts: 23769 |
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Sure, but that still doesn't qualify as a healthy relationship. |
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Animegomaniac
Posts: 4079 |
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"Love at 16 can only happen at 16." "That's what I love about high school girls. I get older, they stay the same age." One's about love while the other isn't. Still, I wouldn't say it's right to think 99.9 of all relationships between a older man and a teenage girl are more harmful than good... 99.1 maybe?... but there's no way to prove it. It's safe to say that it would be stifling to a developing personality/identity/lifestyle for the teenager to become completely dependent upon the older benefactor but it's also not like every flower will bloom to its full potential. On the other hand, there are situations like in Hanamaru Gakuen which is a sweet and charming story about a guy starting his career as a kindergarten teacher but actually starts with him in high school where this senior girl he's in love with decides to get a teacher she likes to impregnate her so he'll have to marry her. Oh and this matters because her daughter is one of the students he has to teach and she wants to marry her teacher like her mother did. Ok, it's sweet and charming in its other parts, just not these. Short answer is: Life sucks and whatever works, works but usually it doesn't I suppose you could always just be selfish and say "Whatever works for me is fine by me" but shouldn't society have better people? Just because something is lawfully right doesn't mean it's morally right. "I got her mother's permission so it's ok. " He needed her mother's permission and how is that ok? Also, I'm kind of impressed the discussion has gotten this far without mentioning Lolita. |
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Chiibi
 Posts: 4828 |
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Lmao, my mother asked me the same thing when I said "a sequel movie to Mamma Mia was a bad idea". 
For THIS discussion, I'm only thinking realistically. |
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Compelled to Reply
 Posts: 358 |
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Age gaps in Japan can be considered just as weird, if not more than in the West, but you don't see it as much. It's like every other day on American news you hear about gold diggers or some teacher and student in a relationship but news here about Kōsuke Fujishima having a relationship with some twenty-year-old woman is representative of what's acceptable in Japan? Please... Anyway, from what I've read in the manga and what's likely to come, Tachibana's back story and obsession is likely a lot more complex, and frankly the whole hook about something so controversial is brilliant. Last edited by Compelled to Reply on Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:50 pm; edited 5 times in total |
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meiam
Posts: 3442 |
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The problem comes when one person can shape the other person worldview/personality to be what they want (and make sure they love them). So both partners are striving to make things work out, but because one person was raised to do that, is that okay? Look at cult where you have an (generally) older male guru who brainwash many young woman into loving him. The young woman genuinely love him. |
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Agent355
 Posts: 5113 Location: Crackberry in hand, thumbs at the ready... |
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Teens brains aren't fully developed yet, and that's the main issue I have, it's why they're vulnerable, and why it's better to have exceptions to the rule than to assume that adult/teen relationships are usually good. Laws are (or should be) set up to protect vulnerable individuals. Society shouldn't divorce the scientific medical reality from law, that wouldn't be good policy.
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Tuor_of_Gondolin
 Posts: 3524 Location: Bellevue, WA |
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Yeah, teen brains are undeveloped crap. That's why we let 18-year-olds vote and join the military. That why the drinking age in Canada is 19. Oh, and hey! They're not fully developed at 21, either, when they are no longer considered minors by the law. Oh, noes! We need to change our laws so that these poor, undeveloped minds are protected! No voting. No military service. No drinking. Stay at home with your folks. Until, that is, you reach the age when your fragile minds are fully developed... that's what? 25ish?
We can't take any chances here. We need to act now. For the good of teens everywhere. |
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Kougeru
 Posts: 5527 |
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I really wish Amazon would fix their subtitles. The black borders you guys use are hideous and detract from the scene. But the text itself needs to be outlined with thicker blacklines, but that isn't an option. Increasing shadows doesn't help a lot when the background is also white. I don't get why it's so hard for people to understand that white text with black borders is readable on any background lol. But yeah, this anime is great despite the premise. Watch it
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zrnzle500
 Posts: 3767 |
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Did you check under edge effects after clicking on more options? Unless you are saying the option that gives the text itself a black border isn't thick enough. |
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