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Hey, Answerman! [2008-08-29]

The Gurren seems to be incredibly adaptable and customizable, plus the Gurren had at least one pilot who wasn't whining and crying about his current life situation.

"Quality Release AD Vision"

Episode 49: "Final Confrontation! David Williams and Matt Greenfield"

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"David Williams..." Matt Greenfield swallowed hard, clenching his fists at his side. His battle-hardened comrade
did not turn to face him. Again, he implored: "Is this really what you want? DAVID WILLIAMS!!"

At this heartrending and not to mention impeccably manly scream of despair, David Williams finally turned around,
face set in resolution. "It is," he declared. "If you want to stop me, Matt Greenfield, then you'll first have to
defeat me here!"

In shock, Matt Greenfield stepped back. "You're kidding," he murmured, then, louder, "You're kidding, aren't you,
David Williams? Then all those good times we had... producing Devil Hunter Yohko in your living room... doing the
audio commentary for Megazone 23 together... all those conventions... WERE THOSE ALL FOR NOTHING!?"

His eyes awash with manly tears, David Williams interrupted in a hoarse bellow, "I WILL NOT LET THIS INTERNATIONAL
MULTIMEDIA ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY DIE!"

"What are you talking about!?" Matt Greenfield held out his arms grandly. "Sure, we're going through a rocky
period, but we've gone through this before! We'll conquer this, and we'll get stronger! We'll..."

"It's not that simple!" David Williams interrupted. "It's different this time; the entire industry is changing
color every day. We're losing properties... losing titles... even Neon Genesis Evangelion is nearly out of print except for the
incredibly expensive tin! We can't simply rely on our old strategies!"

Matt Greenfield stood in numb horror as his colleague spoke.

"Are you willing to put it all on the line and continue pressing forward, even if it means utter destruction? Are
you? MATT GREENFIELD?!"

"Of course!" Matt Greenfield retorted, glowing with confidence. "Don't you know who the hell we are? We're ADV
Films! We stick to our crazy guns and kick logic out the door!"

David Williams lowered his head, hiding his expression with the ominous shadow cast over his face. His shoulders
shook-- again-- he was laughing! Angrily, he shouted, "You fool! How can you say that now, when we've already lost
that title and had to be cleaned up after by BANDAI ENTERTAINMENT of all things!?"

He fell into a defensive crouch, glowing with R1 energy. "I see how it is, then. Come on, fight me! Let's see how
strong your dreams truly are!"

Matt Greenfield nodded. "If I can defeat you here, then I'll know that what I believe is true!"

The pressure in the air began to grow as the two began to prepare their attacks. Boulders, walls and Blu-ray disks
of even the most certain durability were vaporized as the power in the ADV producers mounted. At last, they leapt,
like twin birds at each other, nebulous R1-DVD-localization power crackling in their fists.

"HIGH QUALITY ENGLISH AUDIO TRACK BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAMMMM!!!"

"REFINED DVD COVER ART REDESIGN SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHH!!!"

The two titans landed, catlike, on their feet several feet apart, their backs turned to each other. A short pause.
David Williams inhaled-- had he won? Then, several seconds delayed, his shoulder erupted with blood.

Clenching a fist to the wound, he turned back around to face his still-intact opponent. "So, that's how it is," he
growled. "Well then, I will no longer go easy on you!"

"In that case, neither will I," Matt Greenfield declared.

David Williams smirked. "Don't get cocky!"

The opponents faced off against each other once again, brewing their surekills. The ground rumbled-- light
seemingly pouring forth from absolutely no where flashed-- and they tore towards each other!

"AFFORDABLE... THINPACK... RELEASE... ELIMINATION!!!" David Williams bellowed from the depths of his soul. And yet
Matt Greenfield did not falter, roaring his own technique name at the same time:

"ULTIMATE ONLINE EPISODE STREAMING... APOCALYPSE!!!"

David Williams gasped. Matt Greenfield had mastered... THAT technique? But how? WHEN!? Could it be...?!

And at once, he knew that any resistance would be utterly useless. Nothing could stand against the magnificence of
THAT legendary technique, which even the most ornery of non-buyers would crumble in the face of. He felt it collide
with his chest with the force of a freight train.

"Matt...Greenfield," he hissed through gritted teeth, "I... underestimated you..."

When the shining light had cleared, David Williams was a crumpled heap among a pile of debris, covered in manly
scars and burn wounds and smiling thoughtfully to himself. "So," he grunted under his breath, "He's really done
it..."

"David Williams!" Matt Greenfield rushed to his side at once, still winded from using the ultimate technique. "Are
you all right?"

"I am now," was the gravely response.

"What? David Williams, you're not..."

"You'll have to watch over... of the company... for both of us, now..."

Matt Greenfield's eyes flew open in shock as David Williams' words registered in his brain. "But... David Williams!
No! You can't die! There's still so much I don't know! David Williams!"

"Be strong," David Williams whispered ever so wisely. "Never give up that glimmering spirit... no matter what..."
Through his manly tears Matt Greenfield choked, "Do you really think I can?"

David Williams closed his eyes, and gave a great, shuddering sigh, murmuring softly for the last time: "I can
neither...confirm... nor... deny..."

"Wait! David Williams! David Williams, don't go!" Matt Greenfield pleaded. "No!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

That day, we lost something irreplaceable.

PLAY ENDING THEME: "Horrible TRAILER//Awesome FINAL PRODUCT" by Orange Range

TO BE CONTINUED

Next time on "Quality Release AD Vision", Episode 50: "The Opponent is a Clone? Funimation Attacks!"

Also, due to unpopular demand and my own ego-stroking, The Director's Cut:

Cat looks pissed.

Also, Luffy seems to be closer to becoming King of the Pirates than Naruto is to becoming Hokage.

The real question in the whole Eva vs. Lagann thing, is... Is Shinji in control of Unit-01?
No, scratch that, it's irrelevant. He can be overridden.
So with that established, I'm confident that Eva-01 would just eat it. Drill spikes and all. It'd eat it.
In fact, I daresay, there is nothing in the entire world of anime that Eva-01 could not eat, and thus defeat. Aside from perhaps things that wouldn't kill(Let's say, Alucard, uh, various other undead things that don't come to mind so quickly...).
So, I guess, the method for determining the victor in a fight between Eva-01 and anything is as follows:
Can it be killed by being eaten? If yes, Eva-01 wins.
If no, can Eva-01 beat it using its other abilities? If yes, Eva-01 wins.
If no, have you divided by zero? If yes, Batman wins.
(I just felt like being silly. Sue me.)

Hm... maybe I spoke slightly uneducated in the fact that I didn't really look into yaoi/yuri to see just what kind of content it portrayed, and for that I should apologize for throwing all the yaoi fans into the same stereotype. Though in my own defense, I wasn't really looking to read enough yaoi to form a solid basis... so let's call it a willing ignorance.

One thing about Yuri manga: most Japanese yuri manga is not aimed at men at all. Rather, it's aimed at essentially a subset of yaoi fandom. Eiki Eiki and Taishi Zaou are probably the two most prominent yuri artists right now, and they both have worked on yaoi manga for years before branching out. CHI-Ran is another example, though she is (they are?) not as iconic in either genre.

There are "shounen yuri" series, and most of them make it stateside (Kashimashi and Strawberry Panic made it over with little delay). There are also pornographic "lez" comics which aren't to be confused with yuri.

The "shoujo yuri" titles that you see in Yuri Hime, which I also happen to adore, aren't really that viable in America. They're already a subset of a subset in Japan in that they are too girly for most men, and they don't appeal to most women because there is no man involved in the romance (i.e., no "bishies").

The last nail in the coffin is that most yuri "series" are very short and don't allow for any buzz to build up around them before they're over.

The term for the more common, less explicit romance-centric material is "BL" or "boy's love." They used to call it "shonen-ai" but now they call it "boy's love" even though the latter is pretty much a straight up translation of the former.

Of course, the trouble is that there is pretty much no way to quickly and easily distinguish between the "softcore" stuff and the "hardcore" stuff. The cover artwork look extremely similar between one and the other, which is how so many teenage girls get away with reading this stuff right under their parents' noses.

Also, oddly enough there is actually no such term as "shojo-ai." You'd think there would be considering the relatively archaic term "shonen-ai," but nope.