Blue Period

Episode 5

Doing the things you like, Yatora observes this week, isn't always fun. That sometimes goes double for creative pursuits; I love writing and dancing, but both can be immensely frustrating at times when the words won't come out right or the body won't move the way you want it to. Painting is no different; we joke in my house that one of my sisters always reaches a point in her art where she proclaims that she's ruined the painting or drawing. But she's not exaggerating – she honestly believes that she's made a decision that can't be taken back and has forever destroyed what she was trying to put down on paper. (She also rips out more stitches than she puts in when she crochets for the same reason.) That's because art is, at the end of the day, personal, both to the artist who creates it and to the viewer who observes it. And that means that getting your message across can often be an exercise in frustration.

That's what Yatora truly realizes this week. It's something he's experienced before, but he always assumed that it was because his skills weren't up to par – after all, it's hard not to compare yourself with the people around you, and most of his peers have been making art for far longer than he has. But he's also chasing the specter of Mori and her angel painting. That one canvas of hers had an outsized influence on Yatora, and it's become his ideal without him ever truly realizing what it was that Mori was doing when she created it. He's been pursuing a technical perfection without looking for creative perfection (if such a thing exists), and that's holding him back.

Three people attempt to help him break through his block, each in a different way. I'd argue that Oba is the least helpful. Although she's the person he's most trying to reach as his cram school instructor, Oba's feedback doesn't always appear to be all that helpful to Yatora. Oba's critiques aren't always said in the language Yatora understands; she's perhaps a little too oblique when she talks about feelings and whatnot. That is important for Yatora to work towards, because art may not be worth much if it can't reach anyone, but at this stage of his career her words don't always make sense and tend to have the effect of getting him stuck in a rut, as we see at the end of this episode when he tries to recreate the mood of a piece Oba praised. It's an indication that he didn't understand what she said was good about the first one, and that's a real problem in a school setting. Yuka, on the other hand, is able to get through to him, mostly because they (I've decided to go with they/them pronouns due to the disagreements between anime subtitles and the English edition of the manga) understand what it's like to be someone who doesn't fit what people expect. When Yuka sees Yatora staring at his blank F100 canvas, they know that he's struggling with the concept of "want to" versus "supposed to". And when he sees that Yuka's upset (and who wouldn't be, after that awful scene with their dad) and offers to be a non-judgmental listener, Yuka decides to help because no one else is really helping them, Grandma's offer of sweet oranges and use of their proper name aside. And finally, I'd say that, despite limited interactions, Mori is the third person who really helps to get Yatora on track. Yuka's suggestion that they go see Mori at school (even though Yuka, dealing with their own stuff, has no intention of actually going on campus) puts Yatora face-to-face with Mori's most recent painting of Buddhist mudras.

At first, he's upset. He went assuming that Mori would still be creating angels, and to find a Buddhist image instead of a Christian one throws him. But then he recalls what she said – that painting was like praying to her – and that's when the wall around him begins to crack. It doesn't matter what religion's iconography Mori uses, because the intent is still the same, and that tells Yatora that he can blur the lines between still life and imaginative work. He just needs to find his intent and work to get that down on the canvas.

Of course, he also has to please Oba, because art created for a client (and that's basically what art classes are teaching in one aspect) needs to please the client specifically. Is that part of what drove Yotasuke away from cram school, or Yuka, who's been skipping? We may get answers to one of those questions next week and see if Yotasuke can help Yatora finish breaking through his wall.

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Blue Period is currently streaming on Netflix.