JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders Egypt Arc Episodes 12-13
by Jacob Chapman,
This two-part installment of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure revolves around one very bizarre event. Hol Horse needs to, has to, absolutely must jam his fingers up Polnareff's nose. This is it. This is what is best in life. Well, at least it's best in Jojo's.
Even after so many failures, Hol Horse refuses to give up, presumably out of fear that Dio will chase him down and do him in if he quits. Thus, he decides to head off his big bad vampire boss off at the pass and cap him in person, which is when we get our first hint as to how "The World" really works. Hol Horse is a perfect shot at point blank range, but without a sound or any tiny hint of motion, he finds Dio directly behind him instead of behind his gun barrel. The plot thickens...
It's not time to reveal the final boss' secrets yet though, so these episodes explore the long awaited teamup of Hol Horse and Boingo, two surviving stand users who can't work properly on their own. I never saw it coming, but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. As comedy episodes go, this isn't superior to Oingo and Boingo's first appearance, but it's pretty close. (I'm not going to call them Zenyatta and Mondatta. You can't make me do it, subtitles!) Usually, Hol Horse's cowardice is his own undoing, but with the assurance of destiny on his side, he becomes a much tougher customer. All he has to do is follow what Thoth's prophetic comic says. Simple, right?
Unfortunately, like D'Arby before them, Hol Horse and Boingo must now fall to Jotaro's Lucky Star. (Star Platinum that is.) It's been interesting to track the evolution of Jotaro's strengths from the show's beginning. Initially, Jotaro was vaunted as the story's hero for his strength and perception. Over time, characters were more likely to praise Jotaro's quick thinking and the speed of his stand along with it. By now, he's faced opponents far stronger and smarter than he is and still come out on top, which means he's riding high solely on luck. Luck is the only power that can beat Thoth's prophecies when followed properly, which means Hol Horse is going to jam his fingers up Polnareff's nose for nothing, and we all get to enjoy the comedy of errors that follows.
The only downside to Hol Horse and Boingo's bizarre adventure is that it relies on a frequent repetition of their limited possibilities for character interaction. Boingo's cowardice outstrips Hol Horse's to the extent that he's impossible to work with, but his book's predictions are 100% correct. Hol Horse wants to believe the predictions, but they keep relying on him committing ludicrous acts on his own, with all-too-delayed payoffs. Repeat ad infinitum to escalating levels of goofiness. In the end, Jotaro's luck wins out, Hol Horse is once again out of commission, and Boingo learns to stand on his own and even strive to become a good guy someday...but a fateful Iggy attack sets him back on the bad egg path. "If changing your character was that easy, people would do it every day!" Boingo assures the audience, then adds in a "Ba-dum-tish!" for good measure. Clearly, this was a 100% silly detour for both our heroes and villains, but the temporary teamup was tons of fun. Both episodes even conclude with a Hol Horse version of the Oingo Boingo Brothers song! What's not to love?
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders Egypt Arc is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.
Hope has been an anime fan since childhood, and likes to chat about cartoons, pop culture, and visual novel dev on Twitter.
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