In the running for the raunchiest show of the season is Peter Grill and the Philosopher's Time. What's the latter half of the title mean? Who cares! Peter's too busy staving off the salacious of affections of every Tina, Diana, and Harriet who want a piece of him.
This series is currently streaming on HIDIVE and Crunchyroll!
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Spoiler Warning for discussion of the series ahead.
This entire column is exceptionally NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
Micchy, anime localization has come a long way in the past few years. These days when there's not a pandemic mucking things up we not only get subtitled releases just hours after Japan, but even dubbed episodes sometimes the same day as their sub release. And now western companies are innovating by having shows that TWIA
themselves for us!
Super huge shoutout to the translators at Sentai (Natalie Jones
and Ian Fagen
) who turned a moderately funny not-quite-porno into the most entertaining thing I've seen this season, seriously! That localized script is doing a LOT of heavy lifting here.
Frankly they could stand to tone it down. If they're out here churning out gold what the hell are we supposed to do? I work hard to come up with the worst ways to describe the cursed shows we cover and yet these folks are just casually tossing out the most cursed puns I've ever seen.
I consider it a chance at redemption after we missed out on the opportunity to cover the Australian release of Interspecies Reviewers
a few seasons ago. Though Peter Grill
doesn't hold a candle to the fungus-fucking that happens in Interspecies
Well of course. Peter Grill & The Philosopher's Time isn't some shameless smorgasbord of fetishes, but a shameless exploration of just 1 fetish. Namely, what if you were the strongest guy evers and every girl in the world wanted to sheath your sword?
Gee I don't know Nick, what would happen?
Apparently you'd cheat on your girlfriend every 12 hours or so, going by how Petey boy here handles things.
See that's the other half of the equation. Peter himself is engaged to the 1 girl in the world who isn't chomping at the dick to let him water her field, and so every episode is an adventure in being pressured into cheating on her. So like somebody mushed Maburaho
and Netsuzou Trap together.
(shout out to the 3 people who remember Maburaho)
Okay yeah, Peter Grill absolutely sucks ass, BUT he also likes touching boobs so I do sympathize a little. Like screw the dude for not being upfront with his girlfriend about what he wants out of a relationship but it's also very entertaining to watch him get owned by his own inability to not touch tiddies.
To the show's...well not "Credit" but you get what I mean, it does set up an incredibly flimsy reason for why Peter can't just tell his fiance he would like to grill her shrimp on his barby - she's literally too dumb to know what sex is.
Unfortunately the internet doesn't exist in JRPG Fantasy World #3582 so Luvellia never stumbled onto porn while looking for pictures of horses. And by the sound of it, sex ed really ain't a thing here either, so poor girl's stuck believing in the baby-making equivalent of Santa Claus.
Well the excuse they give is she's been sheltered by her possessive father, which is also a dumb reason, but is even dumber when we meet the guy and he's somehow more cartoonishly evil than the dad in Mr. Boop
If guns existed in this setting he'd definitely be one of those dads who brag about having a rifle at home to scare off potential boyfriends. He has to make do with magic swords I guess.
So yeah, that's the sitcom house of cards the show's constructed to theoretically keep Peter likable despite committing adultery on a near episodic basis. Well, that and the blackmail.
Whether he's actually likable is another question! I wouldn't say he's all that sympathetic given how lousy he is at keeping his fiancee in the loop, but at least he's not going around violating women's boundaries for hyuks. Yeah, the excuse the show makes for having the girls fall over him is paper-thin, but I honestly like how it's upfront about how their attraction is superficial. It's certainly better than that other harem cliche where a potato boy attracts haremettes by... not being a total Chad? or something?
Honestly I just don't know why they bother. Your audience is theoretically here to revel in the taboo experience of cheating, why not just own it? I mentioned NTR
and you never saw that show waffling about being anything but the dubcon softcore it was. If you're going to set up in a dumpster you outta embrace it!
Yeah, but then you'd miss out on Peter being continuously owned!
Look this isn't my fetish so I'm always going to coming to this as an outsider, but I just can't figure out how you're supposed to stay ahem
engaged with the material when Peter's crying over his cursed dick every 5 minutes.
Look I'm sorry if you don't find the Magic Viagra episode outrageously funny but that's where we're gonna have to disagree. Like yeah the NTR and tiddies are part of the show's appeal, but the real hook for me is how Peter's an absolute dweeb loser chump who keeps digging his own grave.
I mean it's very funny that the setup is literally "an elf hexed my dick" but then that plot line stops for a while so the show can revel in the more familiar type of noncon porn:
You've seen enough hentai
to know etc etc.
Yeah, I'm not fond of that bit. It's all fun and games when the fictional sexytimes are almost kind of consensual (if ill-advised), but the tentacle rape is just that. It's tonally at odds with the rest of the show's bawdy shenanigans and just gross. Like it's one thing when Peter (the subject) gets swept up into ethically dubious threesomes. It's another matter entirely when Luvellia (the object of Peter's affections) gets thrown into a situation where she's entirely powerless like that.
It's real gross! So gross that it's almost a relief when it's followed up by the elf girl forcing Peter to bang her by threatening to make his dick explode like a Capri Sun. And if that sounds nasty let me remind you of what the actual show sounds like:
The weird thing is that the tentacle rape part has no bearing on anything else that happens? There didn't have to be a sexual aspect to the violence; the episode would've played out the exact same way if Luvellia's life were simply in danger. But I guess as a self-branded Sex Show everything in Peter Grill has to contribute to the porn quota.
Also, thanks to the bizarre and arbitrary confluence of what counts as obscenity, it's the most actual sex the show can put on screen. Since every other scene cuts to black before Peter actually plows any fields. Even the less-censored version is just less gratuitous with the light bars. There's still a plethora of luminescent taints up in here.
Someone installed LEDs in all the girls' nipples but forgot to add an off switch, smh.
Nudist Beach should sue.
They really be out here shining stadium lights through an orc girl's legs!
Look I know some people call them headlights but girl please turn off your high beams when approaching a driver in the opposite direction.
Fact: luminescent anime boobs are responsible for 69% of all car accidents annually. It's just the truth.
Piglette doesn't know her own strength. And yes her name his Piglette. She's from the Pork Pie Kingdom. And somehow she's the character who comes the closest to having actually consenting sex in this show. Insofar as she's only slightly coaxed into it by being slipped a fuck-potion in an attempt by the evil cartoon dad to make Peter cheat.
She's also the only character who actually halfway likes Peter? Or at least the only one I'd believe would fuck him without the prospect of getting a super powered baby out of the deal. It's not much, but it's something.
The heart-shaped pupils are how you know this is secretly a hentai
Secret as far as the TV stations are concerned. Nobody wants to get pulled from the air like a certain other monster girl fuck-party show, right?
True! Interspecies Reviewers
was truly too powerful. Peter Grill can only do so much to fill its shoes.
So I guess I can recommend this show to people who are really hard up for monster girl softcore, and Monster Girl Doctor
is just too chaste for them? Or at least I can recommend getting a laugh out of the subtitles because again, solid gold:
It's shameless trash, but it's (for the most part) fun shameless trash, at least to me. I can respect Peter Grill for that much.
I dunno it's still kind of a coward show. It can't even give the World's Strongest Man nipples.
I mean if we're really splitting hairs it also doesn't get the inherent allure of properly-fitting bras. Like I'm sorry, I will never get why all these things have so much quadboob. Nothing's perfect I guess.
So yeah, Peter Grill is at least not the bottom of the barrel for trash, though in a trash-heavy season like this I still don't know how many people will bother with it instead of Horny Power Rangers or something. There's not even any panty stealing aliens in this one.
As long as it's not too exhausting a discourse farm!