Forum - View topicHelp for an Anime Friend
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shirokiryuu
Posts: 714 Location: Northern California (SF Bay Area) |
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One of my friends who loves anime was teased at school (She was lending a "how to draw manga" book to one of my non-anime friends who wanted to learn how to draw better..
I remember my experiences and i would end up getting hurt. BUt now i've learnt how to smart mouth them back or just ignore them.../ but the problem with her is that she is a very shy, nice person even if i were to give her advice how to "talk" or "ignore" these people i have a feeling it won't help or even make the situation worse. Any advice, suggestions, or past experiences like this? |
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TranceLimit174
 Posts: 958 |
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Well the first question is, is she usually with a group of people? Usually being in a group wards off people like that. As far as personal advice, the teasing in general just needs to be written off. A lot of people are very ignorant. In fact a recent story is I was hanging with my best friend at my house and he invited one of his special friends over. Anyway long story short she went into my room which is full of all kinds of anime merchandise...and kept asking me why I like "kid's stuff" and it's stupid and things like this. Now this is one of those 'popular girls,' and she proceeded to say she liked Harry Potter. I asked her why and she couldn't give me a reason beyond "Well Harry Potter's awesome and anime is just stupid." It speaks for itself. In any case I think your friend may need to break out of her shell a bit. If she's shy that's fine, but she doesn't need to take crap off of anyone. It's one thing if she's flaunting her fandom, but if someone wants to make fun of her for letting someone borrow a book then she needs to just stand up for herself. She can either ignore it, or if she wants say "Hey it's what I'm into and everyone is a fan of something." and then let it be. So in short, remain in a group, ignore it, or just tell them to step off. I personally think the main thing is that she'll need to come out of her shell a little bit.
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prettygirl
 Posts: 127 Location: too far from home... |
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I agree that most people who tend to tease others are ignorant. That person who teased your friend probably doesn't even know what anime is (she probably thinks it's a cartoon for five-year-olds). What you should do is kick the teasers ass with some "Wong Fai Hung" Kung Fu... ha ha ha
 . Just kidding. Just finished watching a hong kong Wong Fai Hung movie series  . It's getting to my head. Seriously though, you should try consoling your friend instead of acting on your anger. Just let your friend know that the person teasing her doesn't know what she's talking about. Knowing that the teaser is ignorant will hopefully help your friend come to the realization that the teaser's comments hold no validity. Maybe then she won't be affected by her comments.
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shirokiryuu
Posts: 714 Location: Northern California (SF Bay Area) |
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I'm not that angry, i'm just really annoyed how ignorant people are and how i'm so imcapable of helping my friends on these types of issues
she does faunt off her fandom in a shy way, like she wear anime t-shirts and merchandise, but she doesn't yell out to everyone single person what she likes If she was in a group it wouldn't be much of a problem, but the problem it's during a class that i don't have with her. It's not an advanced class (math classes are all mixed) which means that there is a large chance to have a lot of.... er... dumb people who don't know better. I mean i don't have these types of conflicts because i'm usually surrounded by nice and respectful people in classes. I should tell her that they're don't know anything about anime .. haha it reminds me of how everything in the ANN forums needs supporting details to every argument, i guess real life needs to be like that too |
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daxomni
 Posts: 2650 Location: Somewhere else. |
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It's unfortunate that your friend gets teased about this, but it's nice to know that you care enough to try to do something to help. Even though you might not always be able to help directly, I concur with those who say that just giving a few kind words can still be helpful.
LOL. Well, there are certainly benefits to knowing more about your own personal interests than the next guy, but in this case you and your friend are simply choosing how you want to spend your free time. There is no reason you should have to justify such choices to others. -Chris |
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PantsGoblin
 SubscriberEncyclopedia Editor  Posts: 2969 Location: L.A. |
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... Although I have never been teased for liking anime I have been teased about other stuff. The best thing to do is to tell her just to ignore them. It usually works, unless the person is very persistant with their work in which case I would inform possibly a teacher or someone. I wouldn't recommend arguing with them because that's actually what they want you to do, and it will just make things worse. Believe me, no matter what you say you won't be able to influence stubborn people like them. I was lucky enough to attend a small high school where all hobbies were openly accepted, there was actually a group of us who liked anime. My middle school on the other hand... |
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Starwind Amada
Posts: 981 Location: Easton, PA, USA |
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I'm sorry, but I can't stand Harry Potter. Then again, I won't go around saying "Well, anime is awesome and Harry Potter is just stupid." At least, not to you guys.
And I hate popular girls. They're all airheaded bimbos who date the abusive jocks (the guys who declare damnation on humanity when they lose their Eli Manning-autographed football) and run around making fun of stuff they don't understand or like, while saying phrases such as: "Whatever! (waves hand) "As if!" (rolls eyes) "BURRRrrrrn!" (after making fun of someone) I hate people like these... creatures. You can't even ask them a question without them going "GEEK ALERT! GEEK ALERT! EEW, YOU'RE NOT POPULAR AND YOU LIKE STAR TREK! GEEK! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! EEWWWW!!!" What in God's name is wrong with these people? |
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Bonta-kun87
 Posts: 10 |
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I hate people like these... creatures. You can't even ask them a question without them going "GEEK ALERT! GEEK ALERT! EEW, YOU'RE NOT POPULAR AND YOU LIKE STAR TREK! GEEK! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! EEWWWW!!!"
What in God's name is wrong with these people?[/quote] They're obviously so insecure with themselves that they have to hurt others so that they feel better.  People like that need to grow up.
Anyways, about this issue with your friend. She just has to stand up to those dumb people (Trust me I know a handful of them) and just stick up for herself. A good line is something along the lines of "If all you have better to do is to make fun of me you must have a sad life." I dunno, I tried, lol. Anyways with friends like you helping her, she will be strong to repel those dumbasses.  (Hope I helped any  )
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DarkTenshi90
 Posts: 440 Location: Nebraska |
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I never got teased directly, but watching anime was a "laughable" manner at my old school (which was full of crack-heads, seriously). Anyway, we had anime club there and I remember an announcement going over the intercom one day, stating that our anime club was cancelled, and I knew what people were going to do as soon as they heard this. Laugh. And my god did they laugh. Not only did they laugh, they mocked it. It really made me feel embarrassed a bit, but I'm that type of person, I get embarrassed over everything I do, and it bothers me a lot.
From my experience, the best thing to do is simply state that you like it. Not angrily, not threatingly, just state it and try to bring up another topic while talking or say how anime is an interest of yours, and it doesn't have to be mocked. No one ever teased me in person because I was never the type to talk about it freely, knowing many kids don't know what it is. I did, however, have a group of friends who very much enjoyed anime just like me, and that's all that mattered. Not saying, I was only friends with them because they liked anime, I'm saying I was friends with them because we had the same interests and could share almost anything without being embarrassed. Now, I moved to a different school in a different state, I can say I'm more outgoing then my other school, and yes, I wear anime shirts every once in awhile. Do I care if people see that I like anime? No. People at this school are much more friendly than my other. It's much nicer. All I'm saying, basically, is to make sure she knows that no one else's opinions matter, especially if they mean nothing in her life. All that matters is who she hangs out with, because, which I'm guessing you're in highschool, right? To put it simply, high school's a biatch. 
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Shorty22
 Posts: 504 |
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Well, if she's wearing anime shirts to school on occasion, then she's not really as shy as she could be. I can be a very shy person. I would have never worn anime shirts to school. My so-called friends already teased me relentlessly. I had some anime dogtags that I loved, but I almost always wore them under my shirt. I've bought anime shirts that I've hardly ever worn mainly because I don't want to be noticed and/or teased about it. Basically, I hid my fandom from most people. Which isn't fair, since that's hiding who I wanted to be and conforming to the general appearance and that's bad and blah blah blah.
The only thing I can really say about your friend is that since she's confident enough to literally wear her fandom, I wouldn't really worry about the teasing too much. If she stops wearing her shirts and starts hiding her fandom, then she's not acting like herself anymore and it's taken it's affect on her, so maybe then you could point out that those people are dumb. It probably won't help, but it's always kinda nice to hear that your teasers are uninformed meanies. 
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Keonyn
Subscriber Posts: 5567 Location: Coon Rapids, MN |
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Unfortunately it's the shy kids that get teased the most because they are often seen as weaker and simply easier targets. Unfortunately the behaviour only causes a person to become even more shy and detached from those around them. There's not a lot that can be done aside from, as a friend, being one of those who stands by her and gives her support so she doesn't feel completely alone.
Kids generally grow out of it eventually and start to be more accepting of diversity in culture and hobbies. If the authority figures at the school will not intervene than the best you can do is just give her support if it's bothering her and suggest to her that she just ignore their teasing and taunts because, overall, what does their opinion matter? |
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TestamentSaki
 Posts: 1012 |
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There is something that your friend needs to keep in mind.
No matter where she is, no matter if she gets teased, SHE IS NOT THE ONLY ANIME LOVER. Besides, if she likes it, and the others don't, it's her likes and dislikes, not the world's. So please tell her this from a lonesome Colombian anime fan: It's her mind what counts, not what the others say. Like Wakabayashi Genzo said once: "¡Arriba corazones!", which roughly translated into English would mean "Keep your hearts up!" TestamentSaki |
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Iemander
 Posts: 443 |
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Oh my God, I can barely take the hypocricy in this post. Especially your first line in downstraight evil. If I ever meet you in life, I'll be sure to slap you. On topic, not all of life's hurdles can be solved by just talking about it and asking around. I think everyone needs to find their own way to solve these problems, and the easier you make it for her, the less she'll learn from the experience. Everyone gets teased at some point, instead of turning around and hiding behind other people, you need to face the problem yourself and work it out. And let me remind some of you folks that there are very little young adults who actually feel secure. For example, why would a self secure individual tease someone? Why would they bother to waste their time on something so trivial and useless. It's because they feel insecure that they tease other people. I mean, most people who actually tease, are ones who've been teased when they were younger. Another example, taken from Amada, why are "popular girls" always "doing the stuff they do"? Also because they're insecure, they want to feel better than other people etc, belong to a certain group, want people to depend on them, etc etc. Why do people want that kind of "Power" anyway? Because they're insecure, always doubting themselves, etc etc. Personally, I've long given up on the thought that people with a certain background are necessairily evil. Yesterday I was talking to a drugs addict on the bus about how he celebrated his birthday in the prison cell, I really found the whole thing hilarious and actually pretty interesting. It's useless to be stubborn and closed minded to these people, if they're a bother than just ignore them, then they're not worth the trouble. If they're friendly and you get a conversation going, then why not. |
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kin_flare
 Posts: 4 |
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well u could try convince ur mate not to care about it or tell her to at least try defend herself. You shouldnt just take the insults, do something new and square up to the person if you think it might help
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TestamentSaki
Posts: 1012 |
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I don't agree. People who tease usually do just because. They usually don't have a reson to. Or if they do, it's just for fun. And actually, people who have been teased before are less prone to tease, since they know how HUMILLIATING it is for someone to be used as a scapegoat just because someone's BORED. I should know. I was teased when I was in school and still am teased in college... |
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