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Forum - View topicINTEREST: Idol Fan Draws Brutally Honest Introspective Webcomic
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Paul D. Atreides
 Posts: 128 |
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Yep, sad as it is I can relate.
After I graduated high-school I fell into a deep depression and ended up becoming something very similar to a NEET. Two years passed and no progress was made, but luckily that all began to change when I entered therapy. Over the course of another two years I found friends who cared about me, got a chance to slow down and reflect, found new role-models, began taking medicin, started going to the gym, and last but not least: I got an offer to move out of my parents house and get myself a beautiful apartment, and needless to say I accepted right away. Now four years have passed since I fell into a depression and I finally feel like a well-established adult. In fact, I recently started taking a course at the university. It's very basic stuff but the purpose is preparation for higher education, which is where I'm aiming next. The only bad thing is that I still have trouble finding a girlfriend. Honestly, why do people even get a Tinder account if they don't want to talk? 
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Fronzel
Posts: 1906 |
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So they can brag about how many people want to talk to them. |
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Lactobacillus yogurti
 Posts: 845 Location: Latin America |
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I dated a guy like this, but it came to the point where he decided to stay that way, even though I had pushed him (let's not be coy) into going back to college and do better for himself. Eventually, after using a myriad of excuses, he preferred in the end to stay like this, spending his money on idol (K-POP and Vocaloid in this case) paraphernalia, videogames and anime, rather than saving money for his university and for the responsibilities he would've had.
He pushed me away... I understood where he wanted me to be: out of his life. So after the breakup, I went no contact and moved on with my life. Dunno what happened to him, but I think he remained in the same dead end he hated so much but was unwilling to leave. It's okay to like idols and such. It's NOT okay to obsess to the point of forgetting reality and responsibilities. Last edited by Lactobacillus yogurti on Tue Sep 06, 2016 12:21 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Jonny Mendes
 Posts: 997 Location: Europe |
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I know people that enjoy idols and their music because of the upbeat tunes they sing and the way they dance and im one of them. I even watched a 50 yo couple that know the lyrics and even some dance steps of idol music. Is something that everybody can enjoy.
But there also the dark side of obsession. There are lots of news about male and female obsessive fans of J-pop singers and idols. The marketing and promotion around idols is amazing and some people can be drowned in a world of spending on idol products. |
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Cutiebunny
 Posts: 1748 |
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Regardless of what your interest are, you have to find a balance between responsibilities and fandom. This is often easier than done as this, along with many other hobbies, can sometimes bring out addict-like behavior. I have friends that think nothing of having thousands of dollars of debt on their credit cards, all because they buy anime. I have coworkers who think nothing of blowing thousands when their football team is in the playoffs, and they want to cheer them on. These same people have mortgages, jobs and in many cases, young children.
This comic makes me sad because the author feels, at 25, he has nothing to live for. It reminds me of the same sort of people who won't change a bad habit until New Year's Day because then it won't mean anything. September 6 is as good a day to change something about yourself as any other day. Life is not over at 25. I definitely would recommend this man seeing out some kind of therapy and maybe some solid friends that will support his healthier lifestyle. |
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Beatdigga
 Posts: 4383 Location: New York |
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Yeah, and when you do find people to talk to, inevitably they're robots trying to bilk you into using a premium website with the lure of free sex. No joke, that happened. |
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Alabaster Spectrum
Posts: 528 |
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IMO there's a lot of content now that preys on these sorts of people with these sorts of addictive personalities almost exclusively which has made it pretty hard for me to support the hobby much anymore. It's not just idol group producers that do this but it's the most noticeable case for sure.
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Meh2111
Posts: 1 |
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I will probably get banned for this but anyways:
I can not blame him for felling that way. I came to the same realization with my self at that age. Six years later and nothing has changed. I am 31, never have had any friends, girlfriend, anything. While he might be able to find some happiness, and i hope he does, for me at least there is no fix. No amount of therapy has helped, heck I'm only still here because of the three medications I am on. It is great to try to help others, and most people I'm sure can find happiness, but just be mindful that you can't help every one. Some people are too screwed up to be saved, some people have wasted thier lives and will never find happiness. Take it from me. |
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DerekL1963
 Subscriber Posts: 1114 Location: Puget Sound |
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My younger brother, having gained the freedom to drink as he would when he got to college, basically drank himself out of college. Nearly forty years later he remains a functional alcoholic. A friend discovered that they didn't take attendance at college and thus there was no penalty for not attending, and spent his time gaming instead. He discovered the penalty when finals time came, and ended up in the USAF because there was no financial aid with his academic record. Whether it's DNA, or their upbringing, or their social surroundings, there's more than a few people who fall/fail out of college or even out of life. Though marketing and promotion certainly don't help any, I don't think everything can be laid at the feet of the idol industry. The big difference between the US and Japan (and why we're reading this article and it's hardly mentioned in the US), is that the US doesn't have the culture of hyper competitiveness nor the extreme pressure to conform. (Nor do we have something as obvious as the idol industry to shift the blame onto.) So here (in the US), individuals like @ha739 simply vanish from society's ken. |
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WANNFH
 Posts: 1708 |
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Unfortunately, the story of the comic seems quite personal for me - excluding that I wasn't the idol fan, but just the simple guy with the mental health problems from the сhildhood. Because of it, I was homeschooled long time and treated in psychiatry clinic, but it wasn't really helped me (well, I'm really think that the health care system in my country is the one big pile of bullshit). Year by year, I'm gradually reached to the point that socialization in the society becomes really hard for me - I become apathic, depressive and completely lack in communications skills. Now I'm close to 25, but I have no friends or someone to whom I could rely, except my mother. Yes, I was able to get the diplome from university, but it really didn't give me anything special. I have a job that gives me money (though for most people, even in my country, my salary is considered to be frankly below average), and have a place to live - but I don't feel happy about it, and have a really skeptic vision of my future (but I'm doesn't think about the suicide, that's a big no-no for me). The situation with the "no one would want to be, even if they died" seems really close for me. Life can be really a shit. |
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Dextres
 Posts: 428 Location: Decatur, GA |
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Before I start, I mean no disrespect to anyone here or the article presented.
To the content of the article, specifically near the end where this person had "put others before himself"(and yes I know their are other problems that run deeper then that shown here); but... You really only have yourself to count on, you have to be your #1, no one person or thing can substitute for that. I'm still learning that this year at the age of 27. I believe others here that have share their thoughts have gave better responses then what I can say here; but that's all I want to say. |
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grouwl
Posts: 69 |
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Hi guys, 39-year-old guy here twice married and 5 ex-girlfriends in between, a question for you... when you were young (given that you're past 14 and under 25 here) and you discovered this fascinating world of video games, animated "edgy" shows, cool looking figures, cosplay and movies from Asia and you told yourself "I'll never going to quit doing this hobby, I will always love it!!" did you ever wonder yourself if someday maybe "the hobby will abandon you?"
We always lived with idols, all our lives. I still cringe to remember all the cute girls in my classroom were looking for boys that resembled "The new kids on the block" which it was all the rage in 1990, but sadly, for those girls, the hype moved on to the next exact "boys act" (Nsync, Backstreet boys, Menudo, Boys2men) but how do you learn how to realize that this person on stage is just a regular human being singing a song? that he's doing a job following all these schedules, dances, concerts, movies etc? The problem of Japan is that the industry somehow is trying to convince you that "If you get into this hobby, you'll score with the idol and be happy forever." As asinine and ridiculous this statement is, It's true. They keep the lives of the idols in constant disclosure: they can't marry, can't have lives, can't have boyfriends and yet they make video games about you dating them, marrying them and convincing you that if you spend the money on their bikini/underwear magazines,dvds CDs, posters, concert tickets and whatever crap there is, you are making "your idol life happy" Japanese fans have "induced cultural shyness" and they can't socialize. The industry doesn't care about the serious problem this causes in their society and finally after years of "one-sided love" and wasted financial and emotional expenditure, this person finally realizes that there's more to life than hobbies. Japan someday need to fix this, how? by allowing and encouraging their own idols to live regular lives, dating and breaking up, having babies, start families and start promoting healthy socialization. Japanese girls are the hardest to date, they're scared on trying out new things and they'll give you a chance after years and years of supposedly "knowing you" but in reality, is this tiny island mentality that drives people to be naturally unsociable, to follow the norm and to comply with what society tells you. But as a person, if you can't realize that "an idol" is only a product of a company created to pump money out of you, then you need help. You can like the song, watch a concert and follow the natural development of a certain artist until you're bored of them. Because that's what they are. The hobby someday will abandon you. AKB48 is the worst "social virus" ever induced in Japan, Imagine "The Beatles" being 48 members instead of four and never allowed to break up and to have girlfriends, Kids and a normal social life? that's Japan for you, good thing for this man to realize that he's a living human being that deserves to be happy, to be loved, to be encouraged, not by products, but by other humans alike to him. |
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otagirl
Posts: 111 |
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I haven't been clinically diagnosed with anything but I suspect myself to be antisocial to near Schizoid. Like you, I'm rather apathetic and broody. I find talking to people an absolute chore. Despite that, I'm still able to hold a job in customer services and talk for a living even though I hate it! Feigning interest in people and being polite (I guess everyone does that to a certain extent) - but it takes skill, which I'm still developing at the age of 27. I don't have any real friends as such, mainly because I ignore them when they try to contact me on social media. All I want to do in life is get my job done, go home, and enjoy my hobbies alone in peace. And to do that, I understand that I have to be competent enough to make a living. I feel a bit sorry for those who actually want close relationships with others but find it hard to do so. Since I naturally like to be alone, it's never been a problem for me. Everyone needs a purpose in life to keep on living. For geniuses, it can be inventing something, and for businessmen, it's making money. The average person takes the easy route and starts a family in order to fulfill some kind of role in life. I work to live, and I live to enjoy myself. Nothing else. |
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prime_pm
 Posts: 2337 Location: Your Mother's Bedroom |
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I can compare.
Back in college I goofed around and played video games 24/7. My GPA suffered my first year, and the following years consisted of picking up my grade. In the end I graduated with just a 2.72, just three hundredths below acceptable for graduate school. So I ended up moving back home with little to no work my first year, playing video games. I finally got a full-time job after working part-time for a year. I spent the next several years paying off all my student loans, simply because I didn't want to leave behind anything owed. I had little money because of that, so I spent zero time with my old friends from school and never had a girlfriend. All that changed five years ago. With my loans fully paid off I found my own apartment and moved out. I found some new groups of friends, got into exercising regularly, and began working on dating more. I've applied to more responsible jobs recently, I began writing and submitting stories into magazines, and I've taken part in several group activities trying to give back to the community. And now I feel... ...I feel...like I've relapsed. I mean, I still see some of my friends off and on, we just don't hang out that often as I like. I haven't gotten that many dates lately either; last time was with a girl who was into 'open' relationships that just wasn't really my thing. I'm talking to one girl online right now, but I don't want to rush it or scare her off. None of my job applications have really been accepted, only one of my stories got submitted into a magazine, and my writing has gotten a bit stagnated. But I keep trying. I keep trying to move forward. It's just...I'm so tired. Everything is just tiring. Hell, just writing this out feels overexerting. And I don't know why. I want to write another story for my upcoming critique circle, but there's another chapter up on mangahere. I feel the need to finish my Dragon Age character's story so that I can start my next Dragon Age character's story. I'm backlogged on everything both right and wrong and I know it. Shit, I want to do better but I just want to sleep. |
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Jonny Mendes
Posts: 997 Location: Europe |
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I think you have a very big misconception of Japanese girls. As someone that had been there i can say that you are mistaken. First Japanese girls very sociable. As long you are polite and respectful they are very open and funny. A Japanese friend of mine say some Japanese men are afraid of girls nowadays because how upfront they can be. The biggest difficulty about having a relationship with a Japanese girl is most don't care about having one until they have a work career. The first priority of most Japanese girls in having a career. They spend middle school studying to go to a good high school. They spend high school studying to go to a good university, They spend university studying for getting a good job. Only then they think about relationships and family, Idols began working at 13-15 yo and they are idols for only a few years. Many graduate about 16 yo. Babymetal was a project that was to finish when Suzuka Nakamoto graduate at 16yo but because of the success the group continued until today. Most don't care about having relationships and only think of making the most of been a idol to become a singer/actor/model after they graduate from idol. After graduate most don't make it and return to a normal live, working and have a family. Very few stay in the entertaining world. Last edited by Jonny Mendes on Tue Sep 06, 2016 3:50 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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