The Click November 17 - 23
by Brian Hanson,
Before I begin this week's The Click, I feel like I should lighten the mood a bit with some Story Time! Here's a great little fable about the Club-Footed Columnist that I hope you'll really like:
Long ago in a distant land, there was the Club-Footed Columnist, who lived in a tiny shack in the woods all by himself, except for his magical pot of tree sap, which he slathered on his club foot every morning for good luck.
Then, one week, the Club-Footed Columnist decided to take a week-long vacation to Los Angeles to visit some friends and get way, way too drunk. "Well," he thought, "I can't just let my column vanish for a week, just because I'll be away from my shack! I'll do TWO columns in ONE WEEK!"
And so the Club-Footed Columnist toiled away tirelessly until the wee hours of the morning, a mere three hours before he was meeting up with his buddies to leave in fact, trying desperately to write his column despite being bleary-eyed, distracted, and downright delirious due to lack of sleep.
The column that the Club-Footed Columnist turned in, quite simply, sucked. And the Club-Footed Columnist knew this. "Oh my, I can't believe how awful this is. Alas!" And so the Club-Footed Columnist put a handful of magical sap on his club foot and began his trip to LA.
But before the Club-Footed Columnist could leave, Mr. Angry Bear The Editor appeared, furious! The Club-Footed Columnist feared for his life, as Mr. Angry Bear The Editor approached him while snarling insults, and prayed to every Hollywood Executive for mercy and forgiveness.
Mr. Angry Bear The Editor, however, reached out his paw to comfort the Club-Footed Columnist, saying with a smooth, gentle baritone, "Why didn't you just take the week off?" Mr. Angry Bear The Editor then slowly sauntered back to his cave, alone and muttering to himself about the show Lost.
The Club-Footed Columnist began to cry tears of joy, as well as deeply repressed sadness and loss! "He's right!" he thought triumphantly. "I should not think of my columnistitude as an obligation - it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be creative and entertaining in a format people typically expect to be dry, dull, and generally pointless! I am renewed with vigor and strength!"
The next week, the Club-Footed Columnist was fired due to cutbacks.
So! Let's get to those TV listings, then. Remember that all dates and times are tentative, Eastern, and smell faintly of roast pork.
Fullmetal Alchemist: The Conqueror of Shambala
Saturday November 17 5:35pm (Repeats Wed Nov 21 4:20pm)
-Sunday November 18 5:30am - Episode 23 "The Deadly Flies"
-Monday November 19 5:30am - Episode 24 "Kingdom of the Sea"
The biggest news, I suppose, on the TV front this week is the US television debut of the uneven-but-still-stellar Fullmetal movie. At least, it would be much bigger news if it was on a cable channel that people actually watched, but whatever. It's on TV, and that's about the only criteria I have, so.
Also, Astro Boy! He's on two days a week now, which is double the limited-animation retro fun.
Friday November 23 8:00pm - Episode 5 "Eagle Hunting and Hunting Eagles"
Pirates versus Ninjas are so old hat: Pirates versus Nazis, now there's a showdown I can really get behind! Neo-Nazis, in fact! The "Neo" part makes them sound all futuristic, and cyborg-y! I mention this because in this episode the Black Lagoon Co. duels with a ship of Neo-Nazis over a treasure buried in a sunken WWII-era U-Boat.
Friday November 23 10:30pm - Episode 37 (Repeats Sat Nov 24 2:00am)
The massively kind-hearted, and massively massive, Chad gets his own focus episode as he matches his strength against the 8th Squad Captain Kyoraku.
Sunday November 18 12:30am - Episode 33 "The Power of Believing" (Repeats Sun Nov 18 3:30am)
One year after Red Shield is dissolved, the search for Saya still burns in Kai's heart. Oh, and Chiropterans are still at large.
Sunday November 18 12:00am - Episode 5 "Tactics" (Repeats Sun Nov 18 3:00am)
Friday November 23 10:00pm - Episode 5 "Tactics" (Repeats Sat Nov 24 1:30am)
That wacky murderous madman Light enlists some powerful forces to elude, frustrate, and generally Punk his pursuers, so that he can put his palm in front of their faces and say "FACE!" and generally act like a jackass.
-Wednesday November 21 12:00am - Episode 1 "The Demon and the Double D's" (Repeats Sat Nov 24 1:30am)
-Wednesday November 21 12:35am - Episode 2 "Rock, Paper, Scissors" (Repeats Sat Nov 24 2:05am)
Speaking of jackassery, Desert Punk has a lot of that! The titular "Desert Punk" in this instance is a jackass bounty hunter in a sandy post-apocalyptic dystopia, generally just out to score big bucks and big boobs. Bawdiness abounds!
Monday November 19 8:30pm - Episode 222 "Never Meet Your Heroes" (Repeats Tue Nov 20 1:00am, Fri Nov 23 8:30pm, Sat Nov 24 1:00am)
Thomas and his Digi-pals undergo some serious training to, uh, get stronger I guess. Remember to always exercise, kids! But only after this show and the next one and the following commercial messages, of course.
Saturday November 17 9:30am - Episode 11 "Alpha Bets it All"
The Dino-Hunt gets the D-Team into a bit of trouble with some Moroccan fisherman, who suspect the eager younglings for thieves. Which all kids are, on the inside anyway. Rotten hellions.
Thursday November 22 8:00pm - Episode 18 "Life After God"
Saturday November 24 12:00am - Episode 23 "Deus Ex Machina"
This week on Ergo Proxy: In Canada, Vincent and his companions visit the crumbling ruins of his once hometown. In America, it ends abruptly.
Gundam Seed Destiny
Friday November 23 9:30pm - Episode 33 "The World Revealed" (Repeats Sat Nov 24 2:30am)
The Super-Secret-Society-Shhhh that caused this whole war ruckus in the first place is revealed to be the macabre puppet masters they are, which of course creates more warring factions and such in an already confusing tangled web of alliances and enemies.
Sunday November 18 8:00pm - Episode 18 "Promotion Sophia" (Repeats Mon Nov 19 12:00am)
A new empress is appointed, bringing with it bitter memories for all. Oh, politics.
-Saturday November 17 9:00pm - Episode 116 "360 Degrees of Vision: The Byakugan's Blind Spot!"
-Saturday November 18 9:00pm - Episode 117 "Losing is Not an Option"
Friday November 23 8:00pm - Episode 113 "Full Throttle Power: Choji, Ablaze"
Naruto THE MOVIE aired on YTV last week instead of Naruto proper, so. Enjoy Choji's big fight!
Meanwhile in Americaland, Neji's foe seems to have a lock on his one apparent weakness, which sounds like a good hour or so of animated action.
Tuesday November 20 12:00am - Episode 24 "The Beginning"
Noein's last episode is no doubt filled with shocking twists and turns followed by abrupt closure and most character relationships being left open-ended, so watch if that excites you!
Saturday November 17 10:00pm - Episode 112 "100 Million Man: World's Greatest Power and Pirate Blackbeard"
Kudos to Funimation of course for turning One Piece around into a faithful and utterly enjoyable dub, but seriously, being "faithful" to the source material doesn't mean they have to completely destroy the laws of grammar in their episode titles. Putting that aside, Luffy settles his argument with Bellamy in a civil and not-at-all-violent manner.
Saturday November 17 9:30am - Episode 503 "A Grass Menagerie"
Ash attempts to retrieve his second badge at the Eterna game. I think I gave up on Pokemon immediately after this point. I kinda doubt Ash will have the same reaction.
Requiem From the Darkness
Saturday November 17 8:00pm - Episode 5 "Shio no Choji - Salty Choji" (Repeats Sun Nov 18 12:00am)
Exhausted and starving, Momosuke runs afoul of a horse breeder named Chojiro who seemingly kindly gives Momosuke a helping of horse meat to regain his strength. Then, he remembers a legend of a man who was painfully cursed to death for eating horse meat, and that's when indigestion sets in. Well, duh, if you think whatever you just ate is gonna kill you, of course you'll get the grumblies.
Saiyuki Reload Gunlock
-Monday November 19 8:30pm - Episode 10 "Buried Dream" (Repeats Tue Nov 20 1:30am, 5:30am)
-Tuesday November 20 8:30pm - Episode 11 "Runaway Hakkai" (Repeats Wed Nov 21 1:30am, 5:30am)
-Wednesday November 21 8:30pm - Episode 12 "Mansion of Marionettes" (Repeats Thu Nov 22 1:30am, 5:30am)
One of these days when I am super rich, borderline senile, and provided with five months of nothing better to do, I'm going to read Journey to the West. Because I somehow doubt an ancient 16th Century Chinese novel would have pistols and zombies in it.
-Monday November 19 10:00pm - Episode 19 "The House is Officially Unblown - Can't Elope! - Whiteface Charcoalpants!" (Repeats Tue Nov 20 1:30am)
-Tuesday November 19 10:30pm - Episode 20 "Bed, Bath and Poo-ed On! - Planet of the Dogs - Holy Shih Tzu: Planet of the Dogs 2" (Repeats Tue Nov 20 2:00am)
Don't let the lame puns and odd-sounding titles fool you - Shin Chan is actually, honestly funny! Really! I believe I've been saying stuff to that effect for the past six months or so since Shin Chan's been on the air.
Saturday November 24 12:30am - Episode 23 "Binding Spell"
Tenjho Tenge is new this week, eliciting both yawns and jeers. Yawns because the sub-par animation and ludicrous story become much more glaring as the series winds down, jeers because there's still some fun violence to be had.
Saturday November 17 8:30pm - Episode 18 "Throne" (Repeats Sun Nov 18 12:30am)
The "Obelisk" looms overhead, which is plenty eerie enough, and the slaughter of the Organo continues.
Virus Buster Serge
-Monday November 19 11:00pm - Episode 11 "Blend the Strength"
-Monday November 19 11:30pm - Episode 12 "To Have and to Hold"
This is one of the worst animated shows to ever grace television. And I've seen Turbo Teen.
Street Fighter Alpha Generations
Tuesday November 20 12:30am
Gracing Sci Fi's cleverly named "AniMonday" lineup is the surprisingly not-terrible Street Fighter Alpha OAV. Street Fighter has always seemed, to me at least, a difficult TV series or movie to screw up, considering that there's no real theme behind anything other than goofy characters beating each other up. Yet nearly everthing bearing Street Fighter's once-treasured moniker has been a steaming pile - except this, which is remotely entertaining! Watch and then drool about how kickass Street Fighter 4 is gonna be.
The Weathering Continent
Saturday November 17 8:45am
Karas: The Prophecy
Sunday November 18 1:50pm (Repeats Fri Nov 23 10:35pm)
Howl's Moving Castle
Sunday November 18 5:15pm (Repeats Mon Nov 19 2:35am)
Thursday November 22 12:00pm (Repeats Thu Nov 22 6:00pm, Fri Nov 23 2:00am)
Rounding out the feature lineup is the usual assortment of been-there-before's - what else can I say? Except for maybe long strings of obscenities.
The repeats are below, and I'll be back next week, for real! Unless I have to be surgically removed from my Wii Remote to stop playing Super Mario Galaxy.
-Tue Nov 20 12:30am - Episode 41 (R Tue Nov 20 4:00am)
-Wed Nov 21 12:30am - Episode 42 (R Wed Nov 21 4:00am)
-Thu Nov 22 12:30am - Episode 43 (R Thu Nov 22 4:00am)
-Sat Nov 24 12:30am - Episode 44 (R Sat Nov 24 4:00am)
-Tue Nov 20 1:00am - Episode 16 "Siberian Express" (R Tue Nov 20 4:30am)
-Wed Nov 21 1:00am - Episode 17 "Do You Remember the Promise?" (R Wed Nov 21 4:30am)
-Thu Nov 22 1:00am - Episode 18 "Moon Over Ekaterinburg" (R Thu Nov 22 4:30am)
-Sat Nov 24 1:00am - Episode 19 "Broken Heart" (R Sat Nov 24 4:30am)
-Sun Nov 18 11:40pm - Episode 1 "Sister Rosette" (R Fri Nov 23 2:45am)
-Mon Nov 19 12:05am - Episode 2 "Contractor" (R Fri Nov 23 3:15am)
-Mon Nov 19 12:30am - Episode 3 "Servants" (R Fri Nov 23 3:45am)
-Mon Nov 19 1:00am - Episode 4 "Sinner" (R Fri Nov 23 4:15am)
-Fri Nov 23 8:00pm - Episode 5 "Militia"
-Fri Nov 23 8:30pm - Episode 6 "Jewel Witch"
-Fri Nov 23 9:00pm - Episode 7 "Devil"
-Fri Nov 23 9:30pm - Episode 8 "Puppets"
-Sat Nov 17 5:30pm - Episode 19 "The Prisoner of the Pyramid"
-Sun Nov 18 5:30pm - Episode 20 "Earthquake of Metal Greymon"
-Mon Nov 19 10:00pm - Episode 120 "Back to Nature, Back to Battle"
-Tue Nov 20 10:00pm - Episode 121 "Duel With the Deva"
-Wed Nov 21 10:00pm - Episode 122 "Digital Beauty"
-Thu Nov 22 10:00pm - Episode 123 "Impmon's Last Stand"
-Fri Nov 23 10:00pm - Episode 124 "Out of the Blue"
Dragon Ball Z
-Sat Nov 17 10:30pm - Episode 148 "Trunks Ascends"
-Sun Nov 18 1:30am - Episode 4 "A Forger's Love" (R Sun Nov 18 4:30am)
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd GIG
-Sun Nov 18 1:00am - Episode 25 "This Side of Justice" (R Sun Nov 18 4:00am)
-Sat Nov 17 4:30pm - Episode 4 "Oju Goes Blond! Whodunnit?" (R Sun Nov 18 1:30am, 8:30am)
-Sun Nov 18 4:30pm - Episode 5 "Oedo Clan in Crisis" (R Mon Nov 19 1:30am, 8:30am)
-Mon Nov 19 4:30pm - Episode 6 "Kyo-san's Knockout Performance" (R Tue Nov 20 1:30am, 8:30am)
-Tue Nov 20 4:30pm - Episode 7 "Shirokin Boy's Choir? Say What?" (R Wed Nov 21 1:30am, 8:30am)
-Wed Nov 21 4:30pm - Episode 8 "The Class Trip Into Hell Begins" (R Thu Nov 22 1:30am, 8:30am)
-Thu Nov 22 4:30pm - Episode 9 "Schoolground Battle Without Honor" (R Fri Nov 23 1:30am, 8:30am)
-Fri Nov 23 4:30pm - Episode 10 "School in the Crosshairs" (R Sat Nov 24 1:30am, 8:30am)
-Sun Nov 18 5:00am - Episode 8 "The Toad Who Would be Prince"
-Mon Nov 19 5:00am - Episode 9 "Enter Shippo... Plus, the Amazing Thunder Brothers"
-Tue Nov 20 2:00am - Episode 10 "Phantom Showdown: The Thunder Brothers vs. Tetsusaiga" (R Tue Nov 20 5:30am)
-Wed Nov 21 2:00am - Episode 11 "Terror of the Ancient Noh Mask" (R Wed Nov 21 5:30am)
-Thu Nov 22 2:00am - Episode 12 "The Soul Piper and the Mischievous Little Soul" (R Thu Nov 22 5:30am)
-Fri Nov 23 2:00am - Episode 13 "The Mystery of the New Moon and the Black-Haired Inuyasha" (R Fri Nov 23 5:30am)
-Sat Nov 24 2:00am - Episode 14 "Kikyo's Stolen Ashes" (R Sat Nov 24 5:30am)
Mirage of Blaze
-Sun Nov 18 4:00pm - Episode 1 "Ill Fated Destiny" (R Mon Nov 19 1:00am, 8:00am)
-Mon Nov 19 4:00pm - Episode 2 "Possessor From the Darkness" (R Tue Nov 20 1:00am, 8:00am)
-Tue Nov 20 4:00pm - Episode 3 "An Imperfect Awakening" (R Wed Nov 21 1:00am, 8:00am)
-Wed Nov 21 4:00pm - Episode 4 "Premonition of a Chain Reaction" (R Thu Nov 22 1:00am, 8:00am)
-Thu Nov 22 4:00pm - Episode 5 "Endless Conflict" (R Fri Nov 23 1:00am, 8:00am)
-Fri Nov 23 4:00pm - Episode 6 "Golden Emblem" (R Sat Nov 24 1:00am, 8:00am)
Mirage of Blaze: Rebels of the River's Edge
-Sat Nov 17 4:00pm - Episode 3 "Wind of the River's Edge" (R Sun Nov 18 1:00am, 8:00am)
-Mon Nov 19 10:30pm - Episode 82 "Eye to Eye: Sharingan vs. Sharingan!"
-Tue Nov 20 10:30pm - Episode 83 "Jiraiya: Naruto's Potential Disaster!"
-Sun Nov 18 2:30am - Episode 12 "The Will to Win"
-Mon Nov 19 2:30am - Episode 13 "Make Way!"
-Sat Nov 17 9:00am - Episode 501 "An Elite Meet and Greet" (R Sun Nov 18 10:30am)
-Sun Nov 18 11:00am - Episode 502 "A Secret Sphere of Influence"
-Mon Nov 19 7:00am - Episode 480 "Leave it to Brocko"
-Tue Nov 20 7:00am - Episode 481 "Shapes of Things to Come"
-Wed Nov 21 7:00am - Episode 482 "A Gruff Act to Follow"
-Tue Nov 20 4:00am - Episode 8 "Reptiles"
-Wed Nov 21 4:00am - Episode 9 "Gyasa"
-Thu Nov 22 4:00am - Episode 10 "Mushrambo: The Ultimate Samurai"
-Fri Nov 23 4:00am - Episode 11 "Clash of the Hyper Warriors"
-Sat Nov 24 4:00am - Episode 12 "Test"
-Sat Nov 17 10:30am - Episode 29 "A Robot Rebels"
-Mon Nov 19 6:00am - Episode 45 "Leader"
-Tue Nov 20 6:00am - Episode 46 "Showdown"
-Wed Nov 21 6:00am - Episode 47 "Guardian"
-Thu Nov 22 6:00am - Episode 48 "Homecoming"
-Tue Nov 20 1:30am - Episode 16 "The Night Lords II: Twilight of the Capital" (R Tue Nov 20 5:00am)
-Wed Nov 21 1:30am - Episode 17 "The Night Lords III" (R Wed Nov 21 5:00am)
-Thu Nov 22 1:30am - Episode 18 "The Night Lords IV: The Palace of Jade" (R Thu Nov 22 5:00am)
-Sat Nov 24 1:30am - Episode 19 "The Night Lords V: A Start of Pilgrimage" (R Sat Nov 24 5:00am)
-Sat Nov 17 7:30am - Episode 118 "A Snake in the Grass, Part 2"
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