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*sighs*

LOOK BRUH, I watched the fansubs in 06 when the show first aired; as you 'member, streaming wasn't even a thing back then. Then I started getting the DVDs when they came out and then I saw R2 on fansub......and R2 made me annoyed and I didn't bother buying the rest.

I flipped on adult swim from time to time, heard the dub, said "Don't like." and turned it off. :p

Akane Recaps Ouran Episode Six: In Which They Call It Puppy Love

Last time on The Young, the Rich, and the Air-Headed:

Haruhi Fujioka works at the host club at Ouran Academy For Rich Kids and Their Money. Her fellow hosts are Tamaki Suoh, Kyoya Ohtori, Mitsukuni "Honey" Haninozuka, Takeshi "Mori" Morinozuka, and the twins Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. The latter had a great big fight, making everyone else miserable. But as soon as Haruhi threatened to ban the twins from her house forever and ever, they dropped the ruse and everything went back to normal. Or did it...? Oh, and Nekozawa was there too. Nekozawa is awesome.

Today, we reach the episode "The Grade School Host is the Naughty Type!". It's very cute. Also heartwarming. And that's in spite of it's somewhat questionable premise. Here's why.

***

The episode begins with a young boy announcing that he's quitting the classical music club. His butler isn't pleased with this development, as apparently, his young master is very talented at the piano. Nevertheless, the boy insists. After all, he doesn't have much time to accomplish a task unknown to the viewers. It's our Client of the Week, ladies and gentlemen!

The boy then wanders throughout the Ouran Academy High School campus, albeit with a certain purpose. Soon, he reaches a very familiar location, that being the third music room. With great determination, he opens the door. There, he is greeted by a sight he did not expect to see.

[Beautiful men!]

The boy is quite flabbergasted by the sight of all these attractive bishonens. Tamaki, however, does not break character as an Arabian king. He's even pleased that the boy addresses him as the club's king. It's...it's downright adorable. I'm sorry, I think I'm going to HNNNG!

...

...

...sorry, where was I? Oh, yes, I just had a heart attack over how motherlicking moe Tamaki was. Excuse me.

The boy (voiced by Brina Palencia) introduces himself as Shiro Takaoji. And he wants Tamaki to teach him how to woo the ladies. News quickly spreads about Shiro becoming Tamaki's apprentice, as demonstrated by one of the host club clients mentioning it during business hours. In fact, the boy is right there watching Tamaki flirt with one of the female customers, much to Haruhi's consternation.

Of course, Shiro quickly screws up when he insults Tamaki's client by comparing her to carp. (Tamaki called her a mermaid princess). Tamaki screws things up further when he attempts to console the poor girl, who runs away calling him a moron. He gives Shiro a death glare- a proper lesson to always beware the nice guys- while the Hiitachiins step in and play up their incest fetish.

Funny Aneurysm Moment: 17

Shiro is offput by Hikaru and Kaoru's "brotherly love". "They're homos! And they're brothers! That makes this totally inceptuous!". Tamaki steps in to tell Shiro that it's pronounced "IN-SEST-CHEW-IS", when Honey literally throws himself onto Shiro and invites him to cake. Then Mori comes in as soon as he suspects Honey's being bullied...oh no. NOT AGAIN!

[HNNNNNNNNNG!]

Okay, no more! NO MORE! Moving on! Shiro bumps into Haruhi, who reassures him that he'll get used to all these sexy weirdos eventually. The boy almost immediately notices Haruhi's feminine mannerisms, then blatantly asks if she's a crossdresser. Tamaki and the twins rush in and insist Haruhi is Totally a Dude, realizing that they may have underestimated their new apprentice's intelligence.

Shiro continues to p*ss off the hosts by dropping a one hundred thousand yen tea set Haruhi gave him for practice. In fact, Tamaki is so p*ssed that he sentences his apprentice to The Cage. Before long, Shiro breaks and insists he needs to learn how to make women happy because he's running low on time. He only manages to win Tamaki over when he calls him a genius and the king.

Shiro's real training begins with a briefer from Kyoya over the "types" the hosts play. Tamaki is the "prince", Mori is "strong and silent", Honey is the "boy lolita", Hikaru and Kaoru are the "little devils", Kyouya is "cool", and the newbie Haruhi is the "natural". The hosts then try to find a perfect type for Shiro, even though all the positions are filled. Suddenly, Renge pops in to give the boys a lecture on "shota", determining that Shiro can be the "naughty" sub-archetype. Of course, he passes with flying colors, as proven through a short boot-camp style session.

So...about the above. Remember how I said this episode has a somewhat questionable premise? Yeah, this episode is kind of about exploring the Shotaro Complex. Basically, it's the gender-flipped version of the far more infamous Lolita Complex, which is about sexualizing female minors. Fortunately, this episode is not too squicky about it. There's a reason I referred to "puppy love" in the alt-title, after all.

Back to recapping. Shiro is still not satisfied, and quite frankly, he's had enough with the host club's madcap antics. He hightails it out of there, declaring that he'll never make "her" happy at this rate. Haruhi catches on to this, recognizing that Shiro's head over heels for a female classmate. Now it's up to the hosts to make things right for our Client of the Week!

After commericials, we cut to Haruhi and Honey infiltrating the grade school division of Ouran, complete with...uniforms...

Geez, you guys don't need to be so rude about it. Anyway, they're wearing disguises because come on, does there need to be a reason? Tamaki doesn't need one to see his crush in seifuku. Haruhi, Honey, and the rest of the club barge into Shiro's empty classroom, where Kyoya spots a picture of the client in question. In said picture, an actually happy Shiro is playing piano with a young girl around his age. Speaking of which, Shiro and the girl are in the music room, where the former is denying the latter's invitation to play piano with her. Of course, it's not because he's rude, but because he wants to hear the girl (named Kamishiro) play solo.

Tamaki catches one of the students leaving, then manages to charm her enough into telling him about the piano player. Her full name is Hina Kamishiro, and she's moving away to Germany at the end of the week. Suddenly, Shiro catches sight of the host club and tells them to go away. In response, the host club drags him back to their quarters, with Tamaki telling Shiro that if he wants to make Hina happy, he's going to have to do it on his own terms. However, that doesn't mean he can't help the kid out.

Turns out that Tamaki is actually a pretty accomplished pianist himself, and the host club still has a piano to spare. He sets to work, performing the very same piece Hina was playing (Mozart's Sonata in D Major for two). Shiro, impressed, remembers that it was that very instrument that led him to fall in love with Hina in the first place. A week passes, and after a week's worth of constant training sessions, Shiro is able to play the piece with Hina by his side. I...I can't say anymore. It's just so...heartwarming. No, I'm not going to have another heart attack.

Ten days pass, and Shiro's been keeping in touch with Hina. Meanwhile, he's managed to charm the panties of a good lot of the host club's clients. Tamaki, of course, is insanely jealous. And so the episode ends with things going back to normal. Well, mostly. Okay, completely.

***

Aw...that's the one word to describe this episode. "Aw". It's just so cute! It's pure, it's innocent, it's absolutely nutbladder-breaking! There's not much else to say but...aw.

COUNTS:

Funny Aneurysm Moment: 17

NEXT TIME: Another Ouran recap, then on to Code Geass's second episode.

It's been a while, so why don't we do a Q&A? Feel free to ask about anything anime!

I shall go first!

Q: Are there any established critics whose presentational or methodological styles you would aspire to imitate in your reviews?

Thanks for the ask, Zin5ki! I actually have several online critics that inspired me to do these analyses and reviews. Doug Walker from Channel Awesome is an obvious one. Lindsay Ellis and Kyle Kallgren are also favorites of mine, and I heartily recommend you watch their videos. Jacob Chapman's stint as JesuOtaku was what brought me here to ANN. Finally, Neil Sharpson, creator of the Unshaved Mouse, was a huge influence on me. All of these people are awesome, so go check out their stuff.

Further questions seem to be lacking, alas. How about another!

Q: Everyone needs a classic mecha series or two in their lives. Which ones are in yours?

@Zin5ki

That's easy, Patlabor. Why, because they make a serviceable argument as to why the mecha are humanoid in appearance. It is otherwise a great show with interesting characters and a nice balance between action and humor.

The only really classic humanoid mecha show I liked was Five Star Stories and the mecha played only a small roll in that. I suppose you could include hard suits such as shown in Appleseed or Bubblegum Crisis as mecha. Otherwise I think traditional mecha such as Gundam are just silly.

@ Zin5ki

Thank you for the other question! My apologies for not getting my recap up on time! In general, if I say I'll post something on X date, expect it up five days later. Sorry! m(_ _)m

Mecha is one of those genres that I'm sorely lacking in. To this day, I've only seen three mecha anime series, those being Neon Genesis Evangelion and the first two Rebuild movies that spawned from it, the first two Code Geass seasons, and the Gurren Lagann TV series. I'm just not a particular fan of the genre. I've never even seen a single Gundam or Macross season! I've got a lot of catching up to do!

My promised recap of "Jungle Pool SOS!" is nearly completed, so expect it sometime today! For real this time!

Akane Recaps Ouran Episode Seven- In Which Moe Moe Kyun and Gay Abounds

Last Time on The Young, the Rich, and the Air-Headed:

Haruhi Fujioka. Age 15. A girl, but only a select few know that. Outside of school, she's just an ordinary teenager. But at the Ouran Academy's Host Club, "he" is the natural type who woos the ladies with "his" down-to-earth and realist attitude. Many ladies flock to the host club, but lately, an unusual guest made a visit. Shiro Takaoji is a grade-school boy who wishes to make his crush, Hina Kamishiro, happy before she moves away. Thanks to the host club's effort, the two were able to perform a piano duet before Hina left for Germany. What adventures await the host club this week?

In "Jungle Pool SOS!", I ship Honey and Mori very badly. I think I've made it...less than subtle that I really like this pairing. I don't know, I just find it adorable. This episode was when I first started to hop on board the S.S. HoneyMori. Let's begin!

***

The episode begins with Haruhi in a tropical paradise...or so it seems. No, the boys of the host club are taking some time off for some fun in the sun at the Ootori indoor water park resort! Haruhi, however, is not very interested in her surroundings and would rather go home and do something productive like studying and laundry and other boring chores. In fact, she didn't even want to go to the resort, having been kidnapped by her fellow hosts after school. Not even Kyoya's claims about how therapeutic and good for emotional and mental health the park is are enough to dissuade our heroine's suspicions. (Trust him, he's a doctor's son!)

The hosts, courtesy of Kyoya, have the honor of testing out the park facilities before it officially opens to the public. After some antics involving an invitation to cake from Honey and Mori being Mori, the Hitachiins ask Haruhi why she's wearing a pullover. Turns out that earlier, our heroine was forced into the girliest bathing suit possible thanks to some maids in league with the twins. The pullover came from Tamaki being unable to handle Haruhi's moe moe kyun-ness. (Sure, he claims it's because she's showing too much skin, but we all know it's because she's too cute.)

Haruhi is not the type for going out to water parks, stubbornly insisting that she go home now. After all, if she really wanted to play in the water, she'd go out and buy one of those inflatable baby pools. The twins and Tamaki, being upper class heirs who've barely interacted with the average citizen, think she's talking about rafts based on her description of said item. The subject quickly changes to that of our heroine's god-ugly pullover (did I forget to mention that Hikaru and Kaoru's mom is a fashion designer?), and the Hitachiins reach the conclusion that Tamaki is a jealous pervert.

[Sure he is. The face of Captain Pervo, ladies and gentleman.]

Before Haruhi can beat the crap out of Tamaki for his antics, Honey barges in to ask Haruhi if she wants to swim. Even though he can swim, the boy lolita owns a bunny-printed inner tube that neither Haruhi nor the twins can resist. Suddenly, Renge drops by, cosplaying as Quon Kisaragi from RahXephon (kids, ask your parents about RahXephon, especially because I've never seen it) in a swimsuit. As the resident genre-saavy otaku, she explains that Honey's adorableness may in fact be self-manufactured, to which Kyoya agrees. Me? While it's pretty clear that a lot of Honey's childish acts are exactly that, he's not entirely evil, and there's a good reason why he tends to overcompensate.

Honey then calls out to the other hosts, showing off how Mori (or Takashi, as Honey refers to him) is strong enough to swim against the currents without being dragged into it. All tension regarding Honey is quickly diffused when the twins challenge Tamaki to a squirt gun battle, baiting him with their affection for Haruhi. Of course, it works. "Do you really think I'd ever let Haruhi marry you guys?" he asks in a surprisingly threatening manner. "Daddy says no!"

[Of course, I highly doubt Haruhi would want to marry these bozos anyway.]

Chaos ensues, while Haruhi just sits down with a drink and chats with Mori. Suddenly, Honey is swept away by a giant wave. Mori runs to save him, only to slip on a banana peel. Not so coincidently, Tamaki slipping on that peel and crashing into a giant Easter Island head statue was what led to that wave being created in the first place. Yeah, notice how often banana peels tend to indirectly cause conflict? They caused the entire plot of this series, now that I think about it!

The hosts, led by Tamaki quickly launch Operation Rescue Honey! Unfortunately, they find themselves encountering way too many alligators for their taste. I am not even f**king kidding. They were part of a tropical animal exhibit, which Kyoya helpfully exposits while casually revealing that his fellow hosts were being used as guinea pigs. And so the hosts group back together and make a plan, even if they have to risk their lives!

We then cut to the hosts trekking their way through the indoor jungle. Haruhi notices how utterly straightfaced Mori is, when suddenly, he slips on a banana peel. (F**king banana peels.) Our heroine realizes he’s worried, and when it starts to rain, she asks Mori what’s up with him and Honey. According to the other hosts, Honey and Mori are cousins, the latter’s family traditionally serving the former’s until their clans were united in marriage two generations prior.

...No. I still ship it. After all, cousin relationships don’t count as incest traditionally, at least compared to siblings.

[You two just keep being adorable and going on ice cream dates.]

Anyhoo, as Haruhi states mentally: “I’m not sure I understand all this blood and loyalty business, but it’s obvious that Mori-sempai thinks an awful lot of Honey-sempai.” She reassures her sempai that things are going to be okay, and in turn, he puts a hand on her head and gives a genuine smile. While Tamaki is teased by the twins over his very obvious crush, Kyoya decides to call the authorities for help.

As soon as the rain stops, Mori and Haruhi go in search for the lost Honey. Of course, it turned out that neither of them told the other hosts that they were leaving, because Kyoya doesn’t notice they left until after he’s finished his phone call with the family police force. Who then surround Haruhi and Mori, believing the former is Honey-

Funny Aneurysm Moment: 18

That’s for the police force, which you’ll seen when I cover the ending. Anyway, before Mori can beat the crap out of the cops for trying to take away Haruhi, Honey comes to the rescue and does the job for him. Oh, I should mention that Honey is the heir to a high-esteemed dojo. The real lesson here is to never f**k with Honey OR Mori.

The hosts are delighted to see their friends safe (especially Tamaki in regards to his salty waifu). According to Hikaru and Kaoru, Honey was actually holding back. Not only is his family well-regarded in the martial arts, they've trained actual militaries both domestic and foreign, with Honey being nicknamed "The Dreadnaught". Both him and Mori are national championships in karate and judo for the former and kendo for the latter. Once again, never f**k with Honey OR Mori.

The police force are more than honored to have been beaten up by a member of the Haninozuka house. Honey and Mori are happy, and the hosts head back home after a long day. The Hitachiins propose a beach trip (...yes, I will address the elephant in the room next time.), which Haruhi agrees to go on. After all, the beach as nowhere near as silly or frivolous as a water park. And so the episode ends with everyone deciding to head to the seashore in Okinawa, where there will be no questionable encounters whatsoever!

***

This episode is...fine, I guess. It doesn't really have much to offer and the humor is light. Still, it did get me to hop on board the S.S. HoneyMori. They're just...squee. Next time, though, I will have plenty to discuss. We're getting to an episode that contains a quite controversial scene. I'll see you then.

COUNTS:

Funny Aneurysm Moment: 18

Next Time: Back to Code Geass!

Akane Recaps Code Madness Episode Two- Drama Bombs Explode In Shinjuku

Last time on Code Geass:

Mysterious Woman: Life was awesome in Japan. And then the white men came.
Suzaku: This really sucks.
Lelouch: Yeah! Those stupid Britannians ruin everything!
Suzaku: But you're Britannian.
Lelouch: Yes. But I'm still right. I'll make sure Britannia dies in a fire!
Seven years later...
Lelouch: Still gonna make Britannia burn!
Somewhere else, in a stolen truck.
Kallen: Cheese it! The law!
Nagata: Long live Japan! You'll never catch us alive!
Meanwhile, in some sort of chess-casino-thing...
Lelouch: What's up, b****es? The king of chess has arrived!
Rivalz: Are you sure you can win? This game looks impossible!
Lelouch: Like I said, king of chess. Piece of cake.
At a school!
Redhead: And anyway, I'm sick of his gambling habits! He's going to end up dead because of them!
Blonde: OMG, someone has a crush!
Glasses: I hope I find love, someday. Things would work out fine...
Elsewhere...
Lelouch: See, what did I tell you? King of chess.
Rivalz: Look, on the TV!
Clovis: There has been a terrorist attack! Start crying! End scene.
Lelouch: F**k you! You're a total jerk!
At a party...
Random Guest: You were awesome!
Clovis: No, YOU were awesome!
General Guy: Stolen truck! Someone stole one of our trucks!
Clovis: Well, we're screwed.
On a highway!
Lelouch: So that's why I started out with my king piece- LOOK OUT! A TRUCK!
Kallen: Out of the way! Oh sh*t, we're gonna crash!
Lelouch: Was that our fault? I better go see what's going on.
Rivalz: Lelouch! Wait! We're gonna be late for class!
Lelouch: Hello? Sorry I made you crash...?
Mysterious Woman: Help me!
Lelouch: Huh? What? Oh, dammit, I fell in! Wait, no, stop the truck!
Kallen: Did you hear something?
Nagata: Only the sound of my dying breath.
Kallen: Sorry, man. Lemme get in me giant robot and take care of the cops.
She gets into her giant robot while dressed in a hot outfit.
Kallen: HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, MOTHERF**KERS!?
Lelouch: Damn, that's sexy. Still can't get reception- WAH!
The truck falls into a giant hole!
Soldier: Commander! A truck fell through a giant hole!
Lelouch: Ow, my everything.
Soldier: Who's there? Are you a terrorist?
Lelouch: Wait, don't kick me in the head! OUCH! What the hell, man!?
Suzaku: Sorry, Lelouch. Didn't recognize you there!
Lelouch: Man, we've got a lot of catching up to do. Wait, did you hear something?
The containtment unit within the truck opens up, revealing a mysterious woman.
Lelouch and Suzaku: What the f**k?
Squadron Leader: Kururugi! Glad we found you! Kill that terrorist!
Suzaku: But Sir, this is a civilian! Lelouch would never kill anyone!
Squadron Leader: Woops, my finger slipped.
He shoots Suzaku in the shoulder.
Suzaku: Ow, my consciousness.
Lelouch: I'd better run!
And then the truck exploded. Meanwhile, on a Britannian Airship
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAA-
Clovis: Alright, I know what to do! Raze the area!
Everyone Else: What?
Clovis: Destroy Shinjuku! I don't care who gets hurt! Leave no witnesses!
On the ground...
Lelouch: You know this is all your fault, right, what's-your-face?
Mysterious Woman: Mmf mmf mmf!
Lelouch: Sh*t, we're cornered! Maybe we can slowly back away-
His phone rings.
Shirley: Lulu, answer me!
Lelouch: Goddamit.
Squadron Leader: Any last words, terrorist?
Mysterious Woman: Stop, don't do it!
She is shot and killed.
Squadron Leader: I wasn't asking you. Whatever, let's kill him.
Lelouch: Perhaps this is the time to wonder where my life went wrong.
Suddenly, the seemingly dead woman's hand grabs his.
Mysterious Woman: Contract?
Lelouch: Wait, why does it look like I'm tripping on something?
Mysterious Woman: CONTRACT?
Lelouch: Fine, I'll make a contract! What to do I get out of it?
Mysterious Woman: Only the most awesome powers in the history of forever.
Lelouch: Deal!
Squadron Leader: What's with the terrorist?
Lelouch: You know what would be great right now?
Squadron: What?
Lelouch: Go kill yourselves.
Squadron: Okay.
They do.
Lelouch: That woman was right! This power IS awesome!

So...it's been a month since I last recapped this series. It's about time I got back to it. "The White Knight Awakens" continues the events of the previous episode, mostly focusing on the first real battle the Japanese resistance has with the Britannians now that they have Lelouch helping them out. Also, see alt-title.

***

Okay, so I forgot to talk about the ending credits theme song last time. The song in question is "A Song for Chivalrous Youth" by ALI Project. Honestly, I prefer the end credits theme songs to the openings, and this is no exception. Your mileage may vary on whether or not you like the music of ALI Project, but this is a lovely song about Lelouch and his ANGST.

Anyway, the episode truly begins with Lelouch wondering why he was chosen by the mysterious woman. Before too long, a Knightmare busts in, the pilot inside wondering exactly why there are so many dead soldiers inside. She immediately spots Lelouch, questions him on why he's even here, then shoots when he doesn't respond. He attempts to use his fancy new power to get her to come out, only woops, he needs direct eye contact first. Instead, he lies about being a duke's son, and that's when the pilot comes out.

[Believe me, it was tough to find a safe for work picture to use.]

This is Villetta Nu, voiced by Megan Hollingshead. Most fans of this series are not very fond of her. I don't really care about Villetta, but the narrative does really annoying things with her character, especially in the second season. For now, she just kind of exists.

Anyhoo, once she's in the right position, Lelouch orders her to hand over her giant robot. This time, Villetta obeys, and is even polite enough to give him the passcode. As revealed here, those who fall under Lulu's mind control are unable to remember what exactly happened, as the pilot finds herself completely alone minus her Knightmare. Um, quick, we need to jump somewhere less awkward!

[Perfect!]

This is Lloyd Asplund, voiced by LIAM O'BRIEN, MOTHERF**KERS. I don't think anybody hates him. At least, I don't. There's nothing to hate about him at all! He's just fun to be with! Every second he's on screen, flowers bloom and puppies are born!

Anyway, Suzaku finds himself face to face with the resident mad scientist instead of an unfamiliar ceiling. Yep, he survived that bullet to the shoulder, although not without some scratches. Turns out that a pocketwatch Suzaku had on him stopped the bullet from causing anymore harm. What is this pocketwatch and what importance does it have? You'll see.

Suzaku is just about to ask if Lelouch is okay, before changing his question midway into what's currently happening. (Honestly, I find it kind of heartwarming that Suzaku's first question is about whether his childhood friend is okay.) Lloyd and his assistant Cecile (voiced by some woman) give him the story that poison gas was released and a bunch of Japanese died. Then they give him the good news; Suzaku gets a giant robot! Better yet, it's a brand new untested robot!

Now, some of you may be wondering why Suzaku of all people has been chosen when he's merely an Honorary Eleven. Well, my theory is this. If the robot were to fail by exploding or something, then the Britannian army won't have to answer for it because it was only an Eleven that died. Or maybe Lloyd Asplund just picked the first person he saw. I dunno.

We cut to the battlegrounds of Shinjuku, where Kallen is crying berserker tears over her people being massacred. She tells one of her other resistance members (named Ougi) to get as many civilians out of there as possible, as the only ones who'll be captured are the members of said resistance. Meanwhile at school, the redheaded girl (I promise I'll give all the student council members proper introductions later) finally gets a phone call from Lulu! However, it's only to ask her what the news is saying about Shinjuku, which is just some bullsh*t about traffic restrictions. As our protagonist sadly realizes that word of the massacre will never reach Britannians, he tells the redhead he's been gambling, asks her to tell his little sister he'll be late, then hangs up.

As Kallen is nearly cornered by a certain blood-hungry Britannian soldier, she gets a message from a mysterious savior (Lelouch) telling her to get to the West entrance. Knowing she can either place her trust in this random guy or be pulverized, she follows his instructions. The soldier continues to pursue Kallen, only to find himself in the resistance's trap. Sadly, this is only the beginning of his misfortunes.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present fan-favorite Jeremiah Gottwald, voiced by other fan-favorite Crispin Freeman. Yeah, Jeremiah goes through a whole ton of crap throughout the original run. Perhaps that's why the fans love him so much. Sure, he's racist and violent, but he also suffers a lot.

Before Kallen can give him a proper a**whooping, Jeremiah ejects from his Knightmare and hightails it out of the battlefield. Kallen thinks her mysterious savior, who it turns out has messaged all her fellow rebels. Lelouch tells them that a nearby abandoned train has all the tools- that is, better Knightmares- they need to fight back against their oppressors. After some more planning, Lelouch signs off, sighing in exhaustation over how unexpectedly life-threatening his day was.

At Clovis's headquarters, it is decided that A) the story about it being poison will be used and B) the mysterious woman must be caught dead or alive. Meanwhile, the resistance tries out their fancy new robots, and then are sent on their way to do battle with the Britannian military by Lelouch. And...they actually manage to do a lot of damage to the Britannian side. While Clovis and friends panic over this unexpected development, Lloyd interrupts via FaceTime to pretty please use his new invention. For now, they don't.

Meanwhile, Lelouch comments on how goddamn stupid his opponents are for breaking formation. As Clovis finds his plans going pear-shaped, Lelouch laughs over his victory. Having no other options left, Clovis decides yes, he'll use Lloyd's stupid toy. "My lord," he says. "Please be so kind as to call it Lancelot."

[Hell. Yeah.]

Speaking of which, we cut to Suzaku getting ready to board said new Knightmare. He and Cecile go over some basic stuff before he gets to witness it's glory. Suzaku steps in, and what do you know, it doesn't explode into a million pieces upon activation. And so the brave young knight heads off into battle, with Lloyd happy that his magnum opus didn't fall apart.

Lelouch hears word about the shiny new robot from the resistance members before they get their collective butts kicked. He's even more shocked when he realizes that said robot makes their new Knightmares look like wimps. Suddenly, Suzaku spots Lelouch's robot and nearly smashes it to bits before Kallen comes in like a boss and distracts him. Alas, she has to eject, and the only thing that stops Suzaku from catching up with the enemy is when his hero complex kicks in to save a falling woman and her baby.

Everyone- Lelouch, Lloyd, and the woman herself- are shocked that some random Britannian soldier would go out of his way to save a civilian. As Suzaku continues, Lelouch makes his way to where Clovis is stationed, then manages to hypnotize one of the guards into letting him in. Meanwhile for Kallen and friends, things take a turn for the worse when the Britannians find them and the civilians they were hiding. Before anything can happen, Clovis unexpectedly announces that there will be no more killing, and that any wounded survivors will be treated regardless of race.

Cut back to Clovis's quarters. "Are you satisfied?" he asks. His captor, with gun in hand, confirms he is. "And what shall we do now?" Clovis goes on sarcastically. "Sing a few lively ballads? Or perhaps a nice game of chess?" "That has a familiar ring," the captor comments as he takes off his helmet. "Don't you recall? The two of us used to play chess together as boys? Of course, I would always win. Remember? At the Aeries Villa?" Clovis asks him who he is. "It's been a long time, big brother." says Lelouch, now stepping forward from the darkness.

Lelouch formally reintroduces himself as oldest son of deceased consort Marianne and seventeenth in line to the imperial throne. Apparently, he was supposed to have been killed all those years ago during the initial invasion. "I have returned, Your Highness. And I've come back to change everything." And that's the end of the episode. You may all pick your jaws off the floor.

***

WOOP. That was more dramatic than I expected. This episode keeps living up to it's series name with revelations galore and plenty of fighting. Next episode, more drama goes down. And we meet the load. Oh boy.

What's Nunnally Doing?

She's in the background. For now, at least...

NEXT TIME:

More Ouran!

Announcements!

1. I've got the date for the next Ouran recap- Tuesday, March 28th. Stay tuned!

2. I'm sorry I couldn't get the other two SAO essays out as promised. (I still have a ton of issues with both the fans and the haters, if you need explanation.) Instead, I'm going to be doing an analysis on the new Ghost in the Shell and Death Note localizations and whitewashing. I'll also probably be bringing up the Ring movie and Edge of Tomorrow. It should be fun.

With all that said, thank you for putting up with my infrequent updating. I'll see you soon!

Akane Recaps Ouran Episode Eight- In Which The Merit Scene Happens

Last Time on The Young, the Rich, and the Air-Headed:

Haruhi Fujioka seems like your average boy forced to join a host club in order to pay off a debt to the members. Secretly, Haruhi is a woman who was mistaken as the opposite sex by host club king Tamaki Suoh. On the last episode, the hosts took a sneak peek at Kyoya's family's new indoor tropical resort and spa. They all had a good time, until Honey accidentally got separated from the group. Fortunately, the boy lolita is quite adept at the martial arts, as is his bodyguard/possible love interest Mori. The fun times aren't over, though! There's still more vacationing for the hosts to do!

Um...well, we've reached the most controversial episode of the entire run, folks. "The Sun, the Sea, and the Host Club" has caused quite a split in the fanbase. Particular touching points are a certain scene that happens in the second half of the episode, as well as what the overall message was supposed to be. I didn’t think much of it the first time, but what about Round Two? Let’s dive right in and get this over with.

For the first time (I don't know why I didn't do this with the SAO Episode 24 Recap), I'll be issuing a trigger warning. There will be discussion of sexual harassment and rape. If you find this a sensitive topic, you may want to leave. I understand. I really do.

***

The episode starts with a visual of the ocean waves before cutting to the host club’s room. Hikaru and Kaoru propose a trip to the beach, bringing up Haruhi’s statement from the previous episode about how she wanted to go to a real seashore. The twins then reveal that they looked through their fashion designer mom’s swimsuit collection and already picked out a two piece for Haruhi to wear to Okinawa (while not-so-subtlely pointing out her flat chest). Tamaki storms in to tell the Hitachiins to stop bullying his crush before confirming that yes, the hosts are heading to the beach.

Okay, I haven’t talked enough about the visuals, but here’s a really cool one I found. After the title shows up, we hear a conversation between the hosts, but we don’t see them. Instead, there are shots of lion dogs that represent each of the members of the club. More specifically, the hosts are discussing why they chose Okinawa of all destinations (because the Ootoris have a private beach and Haruhi is a Poor and doesn’t have a passport). Everytime one of the hosts speaks, there’s a shot of the lion dog representing them, followed by an overhead shot of Okinawa while the host in question talks. I just thought this was a neat directoral trick.

We then cut to the beach, where the hosts are taking a Busman’s Holiday. (Yes, some of their clients tagged along). Haruhi watches from her umbrella as a gaggle of giggling girls wait their turn to be charmed by the Host King. The twins are playing volleyball, Honey and Mori are exercising, and Kyoya is profiting off the girls in line for Tamaki. Haruhi is nonplussed that she isn’t actually getting the day off when some of the clients come up to her and ask if “he” is going to go swimming. Our heroine declines the offer, unintentionally dazzling her fans. Oh, and turns out Hikaru and Kaoru didn’t want to work either, but according to Kyoya, it was either a day off or no expenses paid.

[You magnificent b*****d! I’ve read your books!]

Tamaki is overjoyed to have the clients joining them, since them being around means Haruhi won’t have the opportunity to get into the swimsuit the twins chose for her. He then daydreams about him and Haruhi taking a sunset stroll along the seashore, squirming around in an adorable manner. Speaking of, our heroine is invited by Honey to hunt for shellfish, which there seem to be an abnormal amount of. (Of course, Kyoya arranged for it to happen as an apology for the previous episode, but Honey doesn’t know that.) Haruhi, however, decides not to look a gift horse in the mouth and just be grateful for the fresh seafood. Tamaki squees over Haruhi’s adorable delighted face

As Haruhi and Tamaki look over the vast arrary of soon-to-be dinners, the latter makes a terrible crab pun. Suddenly, a sea centipede appears on the crab, terrifying everyone except Haruhi, who doesn’t care. The twins remark on Haruhi’s unusual apathy towards insects and arthropods, thus beginning the major subplot of this episode- what is Haruhi afraid of? Yep, the boys are going to try to find out what our heroine’s phobia is, with the winner getting pictures of junior high Haruhi courtesy of Kyoya himself.

Round One starts with Hikaru and Kaoru taking Haruhi and some of the girls to a supposedly haunted cave. It doesn’t work. Round Two involves Honey locking himself and Haruhi inside a dark, enclosed space (the Ootori police force truck). It fails even more, since Honey is scared of the dark. Round Three has Mori sticking a spear close to Haruhi’s face. Nothing.

Before Tamaki’s turn comes up (he’s gathering snakes, although he doesn’t know they’re venomous), the Hitachiins lament over how Haruhi doesn’t seem to have a fear they can discover/exploit. Meanwhile, some of the clients invite Haruhi to join them up on the cliff, who warns them to be careful. Suddenly, trouble rears it’s head when two locals intrude and proceed to sexually harass them. Haruhi springs to the rescue, but being rather short and unathletic, is tossed into the ocean and has to be saved by Tamaki.

As Tamaki returns to the shore with Haruhi in his arms, we learn that the two perverts have been shooed off, the girls are at the hotel, and a doctor is on his way. Tamaki angrily lectures Haruhi over her decision to confront the two locals, bringing up her gender as a reason why she shouldn’t have done that. Um…

[TALK ABOUT THE SEXISM!]

Okay...time to address Elephant in the Room Number One. So...yeah. Some people have accused this episode’s message of promoting the idea that girls are naturally weaker than boys. That Haruhi should let the men in her life fight her battles for her. I...have to disagree. First, Tamaki. Yes, he said something sexist, but I honestly don’t think he really meant it. His anger is born of worry, considering Haruhi almost DIED. Of course, Tamaki being kind of a naive twit, the way he expresses his concern is a bit questionable. So then, what is the message? I’ll address that in a few paragraphs.

Haruhi is p*ssed that Tamaki brought up her being a woman as a weakness at all, and both depart on unhappy terms. Later that night, the hosts are getting ready to sit down to a delicious crab dinner. However, the atmosphere seems to be gloomy both outside and inside, as Tamaki mopes over the fight he had with Haruhi. Our heroine comes to join her fellow hosts (adorned in a cute, frilly pink dress), but the awkwardness doesn’t evaporte. The sexual tension increases as Haruhi chows down on her crabs, with Tamaki watching on in horrified awe. Bit of advice- never get between a woman and her food.

As Tamaki storms off, Haruhi finally realizes what he actually meant all along- that she needs to find a way to protect herself because she’s tiny and fifty pounds soaking wet. Hikaru and Kaoru admit she could use a few martial arts courses, then admit they were all worried about her. Honey advises our heroine to apologize to Tamaki for recklessly endangering herself, and that I think was the intended message of this episode. There are some things you really can’t do by yourself, but that’s what your loved ones are for.

Anyway, Haruhi says she’s sorry, and the hosts hug it out, though the mood is ruined when Haruhi realizes she ate way too much crab. We cut to a bathroom, where Haruhi laments over puking up her dinner. She walks out to see Kyoya minus his shirt (yeah, that was HIS bathroom she was using), and she apologizes again for making him worry. Kyoya admits he wasn’t too concerned about her well-being, mentioning how much trouble he had with the twins almost beating up the perverts and sending compensation flowers to the girls. Then…

He turns the lights off. Kyoya mentions those bouquets were quite expensive. Six hundred thousand yen in total, he claims.

“Why’d you turn the lights off?” asks Haruhi.

“If you want to,” says Kyoya. “You can pay me back with your body.”

Suddenly, he grabs Haruhi’s hand, pinning her to the bed. With him just inches above her.

“Surely, you aren’t so naive that you actually believe a person’s sex doesn’t matter. You’ve left yourself completely defenseless against me.”

But she doesn't believe he would do something like that. Haruhi tells Kyoya to his face he would never harm her, because there's nothing in it for him. Sure, he's greedy and opportunistic, but he'd never go that far. Kyoya confirms he wasn't going to do anything to her. Haruhi states that deep down, Kyoya was just as worried as the other hosts.

[Oh dear, we seem to be getting quite an infestation, huh?]

God...this scene. It caused such an uproar in the fanbase. Even I'm not exactly sure what to make of The Merit Scene, but I'll try anyway. Honestly, now that I think about it, I don't think it was necessary for Kyoya to pretend he was going to coerce Haruhi into having sex with him. The point of this scene is that Kyoya is secretly worried about Haruhi and she correctly points it out. Fine. Here's how I would have done it. Notice how Kyoya mentions how much trouble it was to calm down the twins and how much money he had to spend on those bouquets. I'd have him mention how terribly inconvinient it would have been if Haruhi had died by drowning. She wouldn't be able to pay off her debt if she were dead. Worse, they'd lose a few clients who'd have come to the host club only for her. They'd even have to shut down the club for a few days and lose a lot of revenue, since everyone would be too upset over her death. Haruhi would ask if even he'd mourn her. Kyoya pauses for a moment before admitting that yes, he'd miss her if she died. There. I fixed the episode! GIVE ME COOKIES!

Hmm...let's continue. I promise this episode has a nice ending!

Tamaki walks in and assumes the worst, only for Kyoya to toss over the sunburn lotion he asked for and leaving the room, musing over Haruhi's words. As the weather outside grows worse, Tamaki angrily questions Haruhi over just what the f**k happened before deciding it isn't worth it. Suddenly, the sound of thunder and a flash of lightning startles Haruhi, much to her embarrassment. As she hides inside the wardrobe, Tamaki figures out what Haruhi is most afraid of- thunderstorms. Haruhi claims she's used to dealing with her fears by herself, and that's when Tamaki realizes why she acted the way she did. He apologizes for getting angry and reassures her that he and the other hosts will be there for her no matter what. In a rather heartwarming moment, Haruhi leaps into Tamaki's arms as thunder crashes outside, him comforting and embracing her wholeheartedly.

Some time later, the rest of the host club decide to check up on Tamaki and Haruhi. Unluckily for everyone involved, they walk in just as Tamaki is explaining how the blindfold and earplugs will help Haruhi with her fear. Even into the next day, the twins assume that Tamaki is into some kinky sh*t, much to the host king's consternation. Even Haruhi believes that Tamaki likes S&M. The episode ends with the hosts driving back home, with Tamaki chasing the limo that left him behind.

***

Here's my opinion. If it weren't for this episode bringing Haruhi's gender into the mix and the Merit Scene, this episode would have been PERFECT. The message about friendship is solid, the humor is great, the drama is amazing, and did I forget to mention the directing? But no, they had to bring in the creepy sex stuff. There's no reason to have Kyoya pretend to force Haruhi to have sex with him. It's just unnecessarily skeevy. What the f**k was anyone thinking? Why did anyone believe the Merit Scene was a good idea? And I get it- this episode was meant to introduce the idea that Kyoya wasn't nearly as evil as he seemed. But couldn't a mere guilt trip be enough? It'd be perfectly in character! Don't get me wrong; I like this episode. That's why I have to be extra harsh on it. It was THIS CLOSE to being perfect, but it kind of screwed up the delivery of it's moral. Fortunately, we can finally move on to some of the better episodes of the series.

COUNTS:

Funny Aneurysm Moment: 18 (unchanged)

NEXT TIME:

Ouran Episode 9 recap coming your way!

I personally *loved* this episode particularly for the really shippy moments between Haruhi and the Prince of Dorks Anime hyper

I would accept that Tamaki's sexist argument here is simply just one of his flaws. Afterall, being a dork and making everyone laugh isn't really a true flaw. We all make mistakes and say things that we seriously shouldn't say. So that's just one of his "Bad Tamaki!" moments.

I do think he has a very good heart and he just got really scared, thus got really angry at her for being reckless.

Totally agree about the Kyouya "rapey" moment though. *Sigh* That was just unnecessary.
And it's really really common in shoujo; joke or no joke.

Akane the Catgirl wrote:

@ Zin5ki

Thank you for the other question! My apologies for not getting my recap up on time! In general, if I say I'll post something on X date, expect it up five days later. Sorry! m(_ _)m

Mecha is one of those genres that I'm sorely lacking in. To this day, I've only seen three mecha anime series, those being Neon Genesis Evangelion and the first two Rebuild movies that spawned from it, the first two Code Geass seasons, and the Gurren Lagann TV series. I'm just not a particular fan of the genre. I've never even seen a single Gundam or Macross season! I've got a lot of catching up to do!

My promised recap of "Jungle Pool SOS!" is nearly completed, so expect it sometime today! For real this time!

Might I recommend Full Metal Panic, Bokurano (specifically, the manga since the anime is garbage), Martian Successor Nadesico, and Rahxephon as mecha anime that can be enjoyed by non-mecha fans? Especially FMP and MSN.

@Chiibi

Thank you for your comments, Chiibi! I do concede that this is one of the great episodes, but it does have a huge problem involving how it's message is conveyed. I cannot freaking ignore how much they f**ked up the delivery. And it's a good message! There's a reason the value of friendship is still used to this day!

Yes, I did think I made it clear that Tamaki's sexist comments aren't what they seem. Tamaki's main flaw is that he's an overdramatic airhead and doesn't have much common sense, being a naive rich kid who's never known true hardships. I don't think he meant any of that sexist stuff he said; it's just that he doesn't quite know how to say what he means. The scene at the end with him and Haruhi makes it clear he didn't know any better. Perfect metaphor for this episode, methinks.

And yeah, Ye Old Tome of Shoujo Cliches. "There will be rape. Any story that doesn't feature it is an exception, not a rule". This is why I quit Boys Over Flowers merely a few chapters in, and why I will NEVER touch Mayu Shinjo's works with ten foot pole. (That, and the Elephant in the Room regarding what was going on in Shinjo's life..)

@louis6578

Thank you for your recommendations! I do remember watching the first episode of FMP and part of the second back when Hulu was free. It was just something I never got around to continuing. I also read the beginning of Bokurano I haven't touched MSN or RahXephon. I should check them out someday.

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