The Click March 22 - 28
by Brian Hanson, Mar 22nd 2008
Greetings, friends, associates, and general well-wishers! We're getting back to the basics of The Click this week - none of this gimmicky nonsense, cartoons, or namby-pamby wordplay. Just good ol' fashioned, albeit staid, writings and musings about what's on TV this week. Oh, here's an old chestnut - All dates and times are tentative! All times listed are Eastern!
Before we begin, alas, I have two things I believe need to be said as they pertain somewhat to this here space:
One! I finally saw the hour long "Anime: Drawing a Revolution" documentary put together by Starz. I... appreciate the sentiment, I suppose. Technically, it was very well done; Mary Elizabeth McGlynn's narration was smooth and appealing, the editing and tone was consistent and interesting, and overall the whole thing is quite watchable. But it's riddled with too many glaring errors and presuppositions to be of any use to anime fans, and it's still far too glib and fast to be informative to casual viewers. Sure, it's fun to see Hal Sparks riff on La Blue Girl, but can you really make the case that either Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Frank Miller's 300 have any direct corrolation to anime in any way? That's quite a damned stretch on either part. And it seems very much mired in the tastes and opinions of casual anime fans of the mid to late 90's. Back when, y'know, there were only about five-hundred of us, and we all posted on alt.rec.anime.misc, and all we could talk about was either Ghost in the Shell or Ninja Scroll. It completely ignored the manga aspect and its recent boom amongst younger readers, which while I understand the piece had an anime focus it's difficult to imagine a special that purports to document anime's impact on western culture without at least mentioning it.
Two! Yet another piece of ammunition has been added to the large cache of worries to those that seem to think the "sky is falling" on the anime market. This time, Adult Swim has seen fit to eliminate nearly all of the anime programming except for those with new episodes, except Inuyasha airing at five in the morning. Oh, and Code Geass, their new acquisition, will be premiering Saturday nights/ Sunday mornings at 1:30. One-thirty in the AM. That is harsh.
I'm sure Adult Swim probably has a detailed list of business-minded reasons for this decision, but its dumb and pointless. ANY show that isn't Futurama or Family Guy or maybe Robot Chicken or Aqua Teen will get ratings in the low six figures airing at 1:00am on a weeknight on ANY network. It's sad that they have what is unquestionably the best library of anime on US television and they're literally wasting it. I'm sure everyone else out there has their opinion on the matter, so I won't say anything further, but I will briefly say that, the sky might be a little dark and grey, but there's still no reason to lose your head. Yet. Maybe when Naruto and Bleach and Pokémon disappear, there will be good cause to run outside, naked and screaming "THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!!!" but only then.
Sunday March 23 1:30am - Episode 50 "It'll All Work Out" (Repeats Sun Mar 23 4:30am)
Too bad things didn't all work out in Blood+'s favor, no fault of the show itself. Well, maybe a little; the show had quite a slow start, and certainly the long stretches of episodes completely devoid of any action didn't help things. A shame that Blood+ doesn't have much of a shot of gaining any sort of follow-up audience through repeats, either, due to Adult Swim's asinine programming decisions. Get the DVDs, folks! You will solve all of the anime industry's problems if you JUST BUY THE GOD FORSAKEN DVDS! And I say this not as a backhanded means to appropriate ill-gotten bribes from anime companies, though that would be quite acceptable to me, but because it is (mostly) true.
So, these kids play these cards, right? Kind of like some kind of "card game," yeah. Only! The cards are... alive! In fact, they're aliens! From outer space! And they're trying to... stop an evil alien race from destroying the earth! Through, uh, cross-merchandising! I mean, playing the card game!
Did I just make up the above statement as I went along, or did I accurately describe the basic scenario around Bakugan? YOU DECIDE.
-Tuesday March 25 12:00am - Episode 9 "Maid to Kill" (Repeats Fri Mar 28 1:10am)
-Tuesday March 25 12:30am - Episode 10 "The Unstoppable Chambermaid" (Repeats Fri Mar 28 1:40am)
Friday March 28 8:00pm - Episode 22 "The Dark Tower"
In the US, the Black Lagoon Co. (a pirate-owned subsidiary of Black Lagoon Holdings, LLC.) runs afoul of a maid with a deadly past and an even deadlier secret, not to mention her ability to cause a most deadly form of death, through murder. In the Canadian Canada, they diffuse a potentially lethal hostage situation through the power of teamwork.
Sunday March 23 1:00am - Episode 56 (Repeats Sun Mar 23 4:00am)
Friday March 28 9:30pm - Episode 55 (Repeats Sat Mar 29 2:00am)
In America, Yoruichi and Captain Soi Fong have their long-fated reunion. In Not-America, i.e. Canada, Captain Byakuya and Ichigo trade physical blows and ideologies.
Sunday March 23 12:30am - Episode 22 "Guidance" (Repeats Sun Mar 23 3:30am)
Friday March 28 10:00pm - Episode 23 "Frenzy" (Repeats Sat Mar 29 1:30am)
In the US, L has finally discovered Kira's true identity and concocts a precarious plan to coax him out into the open. In Canada, Kira's identity becomes a nationwide media phenonemon, with dire consequences of its own.
Only in the US, there are some bad -mons that evolve into bigger, badder -mons and the good -mons have to defeat them in some way that is relatively non-violent and carefully avoids the tricky concept of death. Are they, and their underpaid and generally aloof screenwriters, up to the task?
Saturday March 22 9:30am - Episode 23 "A Loch Ness Mess"
Hot on the heels of the not-successful film "Water Horse: Legend of the Deep," comes this episode of Dinosaur King! Featuring an Amargasaurus! Whatever that is!
-Saturday March 22 9:00pm - Episode 150 "A Battle of Bugs: The Deceivers and the Deceived"
-Saturday March 22 9:30pm - Episode 151 "Blaze Away Byakugan: This Is My Ninja Way"
Friday March 28 8:00pm - Episode 129 "Brothers: Distance Among the Uchiha"
In the United States of America, Naruto and his comrades face a deadly clan of ninja-related ooky insects and must make a life-or-death decision as they fall into a deadly trap. In the Not Terribly United Provinces of Canada, Sasuke alternates his battle with Naruto with his tender memories of growing up with his older brother Uchiha, and the eventual darkness that caused his trauma.
Friday March 28 11:00pm - Episode 4 "Lethal Headshot"
Supernatural photographer Tatsumi Saiga plays both pursuer and pursued, in order to free a young girl from quite literal bondage.
Saturday March 22 10:30am - Episode 14 "Nature Calls" (Repeats Sun Mar 23 11:00am)
Robots in the jungle? Think of all the poor endangered flora and fauna that would be destroyed by their emissions and large metallic feet! This is like an angry letter from the EPA waiting to happen.
Friday March 28 11:30pm - Episode 13 "Separation" (Repeats Sat Mar 29 2:30am)
Kramer vs. Witchblade this week, as a Child Welfare organization with ties to the seedy corporate entity that has it out for poor Ms. Masane has orders to reclaim her adoptive daughter. Or perhaps its more like the Stallone classic, "Over the Top"?
Saturday March 22 10:00am - Episode 136 "Turning the Page, Part 2"
Jaden is put in a precarious predicament where winning his card duel means losing his friends. But pride is at stake here, man! You can't throw a card game! That's some Benedict Arnold-ian crap there. Traitorous.
There are movies this week, yes, but its the same old crap that I'm tired of writing about. So I won't. G'night!
Bakugan Battle Brawlers
-Sat Mar 22 10:00pm - Episode 1 "The Battle Begins"
-Mon Mar 24 9:30am - Episode 23 "Winter is the Warm Sun of Love" (R Tue Mar 25 5:30am)
-Tue Mar 25 9:30am - Episode 24 "Santa Claus From the Sky" (R Wed Mar 26 5:30am)
-Wed Mar 26 9:30am - Episode 25 "Tolls of the Bell" (R Thu Mar 27 5:30am)
-Thu Mar 27 9:30am - Episode 26 "Love From Luna Island" (R Fri Mar 28 5:30am)
-Fri Mar 28 9:30am - Episode 27 "Luna Island Hanging on a Thread" (R Sat Mar 29 5:30am)
-Sat Mar 22 6:30am - Episode 53 "Now Apocalymon"
-Sun Mar 23 6:30am - Episode 54 "The Fate of Two Worlds"
-Mon Mar 24 6:30am - Episode 7 "Ikkakumon's Harpoon Torpedo"
-Tue Mar 25 6:30am - Episode 8 "Evil Shows His Face"
-Wed Mar 26 6:30am - Episode 9 "Subzero Ice Punch!"
-Thu Mar 27 6:30am - Episode 10 "A Clue From the Digi-Past"
-Fri Mar 28 6:30am - Episode 11 "The Dancing Digimon"
Dragon Ball Z
-Sat Mar 22 10:30pm - Episode 165 "The Fight is Over"
-Sun Mar 23 10:30pm - Episode 10 "Love and Greed" (R Mon Mar 24 3:00am, 2:30pm)
-Tue Mar 25 6:00pm - Episode 11 "Revenge of the Krasfighter" (R Tue Mar 25 9:00pm, Wed Mar 26 1:30am, 1:00pm)
-Sat Mar 29 1:00am - Episode 15 "The Ishbal Massacre" (R Sat Mar 29 4:00am)
-Sun Mar 23 10:00pm - Episode 10 "The Letter From Edmond" (R Mon Mar 24 2:30am, 2:00pm)
-Tue Mar 25 5:30pm - Episode 11 "An Engagement Broken" (R Tue Mar 25 8:30pm, Wed Mar 26 1:00am, 12:30pm)
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd GIG
-Sat Mar 29 1:30am - Episode 17 "Red Data" (R Sat Mar 29 4:30am)
-Sun Mar 23 5:00am - Episode 119 "Divine Malice of the Saint"
-Sun Mar 23 5:30am - Episode 120 "Fare Thee Well: Jakotsu's Requiem"
-Mon Mar 24 5:00am - Episode 121 "Final Battle: The Last and Strongest of the Band of Seven"
-Mon Mar 24 5:30am - Episode 122 "The Power of Banryu: Duel to the Death on Mt. Hakurei"
-Tue Mar 25 5:00am - Episode 123 "Beyond the Darkness; Naraku Reborn!"
-Tue Mar 25 5:30am - Episode 124 "Farewell Kikyo, My Beloved"
-Wed Mar 26 5:00am - Episode 125 "The Darkness in Kagome's Heart"
-Wed Mar 26 5:30am - Episode 126 "Transform Heartache Into Courage!"
-Thu Mar 27 5:00am - Episode 127 "Don't Boil It! The Terrifying Dried-Up Demon"
-Thu Mar 27 5:30am - Episode 128 "Battle Against the Dried-Up Demons at the Cultural Festival"
-Fri Mar 28 5:00am - Episode 129 "Chokyukai and the Abducted Bride"
-Fri Mar 28 5:30am - Episode 130 "Shippo's New Technique, the Heart Scar"
-Sat Mar 29 5:00am - Episode 131 "Trap of the Cursed Wall Hanging"
-Sat Mar 29 5:30am - Episode 132 "Miroku's Most Dangerous Confession"
Law of Ueki
-Sun Mar 23 9:30pm - Episode 10 "The Law of Justice That Never Comes" (R Mon Mar 24 2:00am, 1:30pm)
-Tue Mar 25 5:00pm - Episode 11 "The Law of Robert's Ten" (R Tue Mar 25 8:00pm, Wed Mar 26 12:30am, 12:00pm)
-Tue Mar 25 12:00am - Episode 19 "Reminiscence"
-Tue Mar 25 12:30am - Episode 20 "Once More"
-Mon Mar 24 8:30am - Episode 26 "Breakdown" (R Tue Mar 25 5:00am)
-Tue Mar 25 8:30am - Episode 27 "Message" (R Wed Mar 26 5:00am)
-Wed Mar 26 8:30am - Episode 28 "Come Back Lover" (R Thu Mar 27 5:00am)
-Thu Mar 27 8:30am - Episode 29 "Choice" (R Fri Mar 28 5:00am)
-Fri Mar 28 8:30am - Episode 30 "Outside" (R Sat Mar 29 5:00am)
-Mon Mar 24 6:00am - Episode 17 "Goodbye to the Swan" (R Mon Mar 24 9:00am, Tue Mar 25 4:30am)
-Tue Mar 25 6:00am - Episode 18 "Don't Turn Back, Remi" (R Tue Mar 25 9:00am, Wed Mar 26 4:30am)
-Wed Mar 26 6:00am - Episode 19 "In a Heavy Snowstorm" (R Wed Mar 26 9:00am, Thu Mar 27 4:30am)
-Thu Mar 27 6:00am - Episode 20 "Remi and the Wolves" (R Thu Mar 27 9:00am, Fri Mar 28 4:30am)
-Fri Mar 28 6:00am - Episode 21 "Birth of a New Life" (R Fri Mar 28 9:00am, Sat Mar 29 4:30am)
-Sat Mar 29 12:30am - Episode 23 "Your IQ's Like 5, Right?" (R Sat Mar 29 3:30am)
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