Shelf Life

Mushiroom Cloud

It's… cute. But that's about the only good thing I can say about it. Other than providing some silly fanservice for diehard Fullmetal fans, it doesn't have much of a reason to exist. The first segment is a collection of “Interactive Experiences” that basically recaps the more technical side of the show. You're greeted by the Fuhrer, who welcomes you aboard the tour, and then you're shuffled off to learn all there is to learn about the plot logistics, like alchemy and its role in society. While it's a quaint way to present the alchemy aspect of the show, it doesn't offer anything new that readers of the manga or viewers of the anime don't already know.

There's also a mildly comical live action featurette, where a giant plastic Al statue is carted around Tokyo on a search for his brother, and eventually ends up at Bones. The jury's still out on whether this stupid thing is the best or the worst thing in the world. After five minutes of staring at a plastic Al, it's enough to hit someone's funny bone, even if it's out of confusion and/or terror.

The rest of the disc includes a short where the characters are celebrating backstage after the release of the Conqueror of Shamballa movie, which involves tons of SD characters and an excess of supposedly whimsical bantering. The crowning short on this disc might actually be the last one, though, where three kids are running through the streets of Tokyo, staring at Fullmetal Alchemist posters and getting lost. Then viewers realize they're Ed's grandkids and a big “awwwww” ripples through fandom.

As mentioned before, it's cute. If you're the kind of person who needs to collect and own every single shred of video out there for your favorite anime, then you'll probably want to pick this up. For anyone who isn't anal about collecting such things, then you can probably give this a pass. If you want to duplicate the experience, you can just force-feed yourself a box of sugar cubes while playing with your Fullmetal toys.[TOP]

Our unfortunate male protagonist, Hiro, is a chap who gets killed in the first few minutes of the show when a giant slab of steel crushes him to death. He's brought back to life by a lolita-wearing princess, who commands the Flames of Life. Sadly, he'll die unless his flame gets recharged by her every few days, so as long as he wants to live, he needs to be her servant and do her bidding, which mostly consists of helping her fight off the massive hordes of bad guys who are always at her door. Rounding out the core cast is a super moe android who can only communicate by saying “Huga, huga!,” and Hiro's sister, who works as a maid for the princess. For obvious reasons (masturbation), she wears a standard issue lolita maid outfit.

Sadly, there is nothing in this show worth masturbating to, because it's so mind-numbingly stupid that I challenge any man to sustain an erection. The show is gothy for the sake of being gothy. Oh, there's an invisible man running around the house? Chase him with a chainsaw! Nothing's cuter than a gal who's running around with a chainsaw and then sets her own mansion on fire. And I guess it's supposed to be funny, too, because look how silly it is! Give her a hammer, because it's so cute!

Supposedly, there is a genuine reason why all these monsters are showing up at her door, but you have to wait a really, really long time before there is enough solid storyline to retain your interest. Unless, of course, you really do revel in just watching a cute girl running around with power tools. I guess one could even say that Princess Resurrection is one of those shows that “gets better,” but I maintain my stance that if it's not good by the end of a 3-4 hour marathon, then I shouldn't be expected to waste my time or money. As it was, by the time my interest started piquing about the princess's past and why her siblings were sending all these monsters after her, I was ready to burn the discs and move on with my life.

To rub salt into the wounds, the animation for this show is really mediocre, despite its Madhouse seal of approval. Perhaps it's a product of too much outsourcing, but the characters go off model more than is acceptable. There are times when characters stare straight into the camera, and it's obvious that their eyes are asymmetrical in size, which is not acceptable. The character movements are choppy and lazy, and the animators couldn't be bothered to make sure that their body proportions stayed the same between scenes. Also, there is an excess of still frames, to the point that it's distracting. I know the economy hasn't been great the past few years, but when I see someone walking across a cafeteria, I don't expect the people behind him to be frozen with their noodles halfway to their face for five minutes.

Unfortunately, it has come to my realization that I may be alone in my dislike of this series, since according to the Encyclopedia rankings, lots of people thought this show was the bee's knees. I guess so, if you like vampires and girls with chainsaws and animation that cost a dollar. I mean, people really like supernatural stuff, to the point where it's kind of not okay to say bad things about it, but I'm going to stand my ground here. I think Princess Resurrection takes too long to get interesting, but if you have the patience of a saint and the wallet of a Rockefeller, then by all means slug your way through this thing. I'll be elsewhere.[TOP]