April 26 - May 2
by Brian Hanson,
Whew! I'm getting new roommates today so I'm sporadically writing this inbetween lifting heavy things with my frail nerd appendages, so my apologies for the brief intro. Let's just get into it! All sweaty and glistening-like.
I can't really understand the logic behind paying money for a new show and then giving it one of the worst timeslots imaginable on purpose, because they clearly don't have any "faith" in the show to do well in spite of it. And really, Code Geass is a stylish and handsomely made production, but nothing that's really going to set anybody's world on fire.
But, um. New show!!! Get excited!!! Pump your fists in the air with all due vigilance and power, and bellow unto the heavens: "AWESOME!"
So, I guess some of these "Bakugan" things can talk? Which I understand fits well within the established confines of sentient, servile critters like Pokémon and Digimon and the like. But doesn't it bug some of these things that their grade-school captors essentially force them to commit various acts of violence against their own kind? Or am I precipitously teetering on the sort of philosophical folly that's better suited to, say, fanfiction? The mind REELS.
Oh, and a lonely girl befriends an equally lonely Bakugan. Awww!
Rock, once-humble Japanese archetypal businessman-turned-seafaring-pirate, faces his past when confronted with the various sundry delights of the Japanese underworld. Yakuza, ho!
Sunday April 27 12:30am - Episode 61 (Repeats Sun Apr 27 3:30am)
The NON-SPOILERY REAL BAD GUY is revealed, of course, and that spells doom and danger for Rukia's life, which sends Ichigo and the others in a tizzy. With swords.
Saturday April 26 9:00am - Episode 5 "Front-Line Base Assault" (Repeats Sat Apr 26 10:00pm)
Man, why did they include a character who is supposed to be around 10-years-old that for some reason has a massive rack and is frequently nude? If I were a less scrupulous person this would turn into one of those generic "LOL japan is messed up, wtf" internet comments. Thankfully I have a bit more tact than that. Albeit not enough to where I don't find it hilarious to use the word "poopy" in any given context. This week on Blue Dragon, Shu and his pals save a group of captives from an evil fortress! Er, fortress of evil. Fortresses themselves are not alive and therefore exempt from matters of moral complexity.
Sunday April 27 1:00am - Episode 27 "Abduction" (Repeats Sun Apr 27 4:00am)
Friday May 2 10:00pm - Episode 27 "Abduction" (Repeats Sat May 3 1:30am)
FIVE YEARS FROM WHERE THE STORY LAST WAS: "Kira" reigns supreme, and several new groups are sprouting up to end his reign of vociferous anti-moral relativism!
Monday April 28 9:30pm - Episode 241 "Digivice Meltdown!"
The Digi-Gang sojourns into the depths of the Digital World, and they encounter a mysterious stranger who gives them cryptic advice. Insert "To Catch a Predator" reference here.
Kyo kara Maoh!
-Tuesday April 29 7:30pm - Episode 48 "Big Cimaron Strikes Back!" (Repeats Tue Apr 29 10:30pm, Wed Apr 30 3:00am, 3:00pm)
-Tuesday April 29 8:00pm - Episode 49 "The Lion and the Wolf" (Repeats Tue Apr 29 11:00pm, Wed Apr 30 3:30am, 3:30pm)
Yuri the Demon King's noble ambitions to promote harmony between lands kinda backfires when what is seemingly a routine diplomatic visit becomes a sordid mess of bloodshed and child hostages and other bad things.
-Saturday April 26 9:00pm - Episode 160 "Hunt or Be Hunted: Showdown at the OK Temple"
-Saturday April 26 9:30pm - Episode 161 "The Appearance of Strange Visitors"
Friday May 2 8:00pm - Episode 132 "For a Friend"
In the USA! Naruto aids an innocent man in capturing the real criminal for the crime he's been framed with, and Naruto is fooled by two utterly inept imposters. In the Canada! Naruto and Sasuke hash things out hardcore, which worries Kakashi, who unleashes his ninja doggies to find them.
Saturday April 26 9:30am - Episode 520 "Throwing the Track Switch"
Ash trains his Pokémon alongside an old friend in preparation for another Pokémon contest. Oh Ash, you spunky little go-getter! You just go ahead and be the very best at whatever.
Sunday April 27 12:00am - Episode 29 "Double Dried Flavor" (Repeats Sun Apr 27 3:00am)
Shin does battle with his inebriated father, and later a hilarious scenario that is completely original and NOT in any way lifted wholesale from Disney's hit film "Freaky Friday," both the Hayley Mills original and the Lindsay Lohan remake.
Friday May 2 11:00pm - Episode 9 "Into the Bath" (Repeats Sat May 3 2:25am)
Saiga takes the much sought-after Kagura far away from the bad place - only to have the bad men employed by the bad place to come and follow them, in varying degrees of badness.
Street Fighter II V
-Monday April 28 11:05pm - Episode 9 "The Superstar of Muay Thai: The Grand Prison Battle Symphony" (Repeats Tue Apr 29 11:00am, 5:00pm)
-Monday April 28 11:35pm - Episode 10 "Dark Omen: The Veiled Rightful Ruler" (Repeats Tue Apr 29 11:30am, 5:30pm)
Hey Canada! What's up?
Hey, sorry 'bout the fact that, like, your anime schedule recently is kinda on the side of lame, with a little garnish of suck. My bad! I mean, I know it's not my fault or anything, but still. Thought it might be somethin' you'd like to hear.
...Anywho! Here's Street Fighter II V! It's like a sort of campy, odd little adaptation of the video game. With a surprising amount of naked male butts.
Hope we still tight!
Saturday April 26 10:30am - Episode 18 "The Return of the Headmaster" (Repeats Sun Apr 27 11:00am, Fri May 2 6:00am)
Optimus Prime! Sentinel Prime! Two Transformatron-robo heavyweights team up to robo-kill the dreaded "Headmaster."
Friday May 2 11:30pm - Episode 18 "Turn" (Repeats Sat May 3 2:50am)
Is it love at first sight... or death at first sight? It can't logistically be both, unless Witchblade ignores all sense of taste and ventures into truly icky territory, but I doubt that.
Saturday April 26 10:00am - Episode 141 "What Lies Beneath, Part 1"
The search for Jaden continues. You might call it, Jaden Search 2: Even Search-ier.
Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie
Monday April 28 11:00pm
Hey! Remember when everybody listened to Alice in Chains? Remember when Madonna was just a screeching harlot, instead of a screeching harlot with a phony accent? And most importantly, remember when Street Fighter II was just about the hottest thing in the entire realm of entertainment? Well, now you can relive all your fond memories of 1994 with Sci Fi Channel's airing of the not-too-bad mid-90's anime feature, replete with hilariously re-dubbed butt rock songs and other such vestiges of an era when 'tude was king.
Thursday May 1 6:20pm
Lupin and Hayao Miyazaki's daring outing also gets a chance to once again shine upon the merry TVs of all those fortunate enough to bear witness to it. Which will hopefully include one of you, if you haven't yet had the opportunity to watch this amazing feature.
Alright then, guys! I'm out for the forseeable, six-day future. I'll be back, as always, full of joy and fun and hot buttered biscuits. So long!
Bakugan Battle Brawlers
-Sun Apr 27 10:30am - Episode 9 "Fight or Flight"
-Fri May 2 9:30pm - Episode 7 (R Sat May 3 2:00am)
-Sat Apr 26 11:00pm - Episode 7 "Splendid Love Message"
-Sat Apr 26 11:30pm - Episode 8 "Distant Dodochino"
-Sun Apr 27 1:30am - Episode 164 "Welcome to My Nightmare"
-Sun Apr 27 6:30am - Episode 165 "Can't Keep a Grumblemon Down" (R Mon Apr 28 1:30am)
-Mon Apr 28 6:30am - Episode 33 "Out on the Town"
-Tue Apr 29 6:30am - Episode 34 "The Eighth Child Revealed"
-Wed Apr 30 6:30am - Episode 35 "Flower Power"
-Thu May 1 6:30am - Episode 36 "City Under Siege"
-Fri May 2 6:30am - Episode 37 "Wizardmon's Gift"
-Sat May 3 6:30am - Episode 166 "A Hunka Hunka Burning Greymon"
-Sat Apr 26 9:30am - Episode 2 "Battle at the Pyramids"
-Tue Apr 29 6:00pm - Episode 16 "Memory of a Wildbird" (R Tue Apr 29 9:00pm, Wed Apr 30 1:30am, 1:30pm)
-Sat May 3 2:30am - Episode 24 "Paradise Lost"
-Sat May 3 1:00am - Episode 8 "The Philosopher's Stone"
-Tue Apr 29 6:30pm - Episode 16 "Scandal" (R Tue Apr 29 9:30pm, Wed Apr 30 2:00am, 2:00pm)
Gundam Seed Destiny
-Fri May 2 10:30pm - Episode TBA
-Sun Apr 27 5:00am - Episode 22 "A Wicked Smile: Kikyo's Wandering Soul"
-Sun Apr 27 5:30am - Episode 23 "Kagome's Voice and Kikyo's Kiss"
-Mon Apr 28 5:00am - Episode 24 "Enter Sango, the Demon Slayer"
-Mon Apr 28 5:30am - Episode 25 "Naraku's Insidious Plot"
-Tue Apr 29 5:00am - Episode 26 "Secret of the Jewel of Four Souls Revealed"
-Tue Apr 29 5:30am - Episode 27 "The Lake of the Evil Water God"
-Wed Apr 30 5:00am - Episode 28 "Miroku Falls Into a Dangerous Trap"
-Wed Apr 30 5:30am - Episode 29 "Sango's Suffering and Kohaku's Life"
-Thu May 1 5:00am - Episode 30 "Tetsusaiga Is Stolen! Showdown at Naraku's Castle"
-Thu May 1 5:30am - Episode 31 "Jinenji, Kind Yet Sad"
-Fri May 2 5:00am - Episode 32 "Kikyo and Inuyasha, Into the Miasma"
-Fri May 2 5:30am - Episode 33 "Kikyo, Captured by Naraku"
-Sat May 3 5:00am - Episode 34 "Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga"
-Sat May 3 5:30am - Episode 35 "The True Owner of the Great Sword"
Law of Ueki
-Tue Apr 29 7:00pm - Episode 16 "The Law of Neo" (R Tue Apr 29 10:00pm, Wed Apr 30 2:30am, 2:30pm)
-Mon Apr 28 7:00am - Episode 503 "A Grass Menagerie"
-Mon Apr 28 3:00pm - Episode 513 "Sandshrew's Locker"
-Tue Apr 29 7:00am - Episode 504 "One Big Happiny Family"
-Tue Apr 29 3:00pm - Episode 514 "Dawn's Early Light"
-Wed Apr 30 7:00am - Episode 505 "Steamboat Willies"
-Wed Apr 30 3:00pm - Episode 515 "Tag! We're It"
-Thu May 1 7:00am - Episode 506 "Top-Down Training"
-Thu May 1 3:00pm - Episode 516 "Glory Blaze"
-Fri May 2 7:00am - Episode 507 "A Stand-Up Sit-Down"
-Fri May 2 3:00pm - Episode 517 "Smells Like Team Spirit"
-Mon Apr 28 1:00pm - Episode 16 "Two Mothers in a Dream"
-Tue Apr 29 1:00pm - Episode 17 "Goodbye to the Swan"
-Wed Apr 30 1:00pm - Episode 18 "Don't Turn Back, Remi"
-Sun Apr 27 2:35am - Episode 8 "Demon Spear Cries"
-Sun Apr 27 3:00am - Episode 9 "The Blind Smile"
-Sun Apr 27 3:30am - Episode 10 "Cold Blood Illusion"
-Mon Apr 28 6:00am - Episode 14 "Nature Calls"
-Tue Apr 29 6:00am - Episode 15 "Megatron Rising, Part 1"
-Wed Apr 30 6:00am - Episode 16 "Megatron Rising, Part 2"
-Thu May 1 6:00am - Episode 17 "The Elite Guard"
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