Hey, Answerman!

by Zac Bertschy, Feb 24th 2006


Man, you people went absolutely nuts with the contest from these past two weeks. We've got a lot to get through, so let's get cracking, shall we?


I can't seem to find any details about this besides the fact that it's a prequal to Final Fantasy: Advent Children, and that it's a TV Show.  Do you know when it comes out and how many episodes it is?

Ugh. I'm loathe to even mention Final Fantasy: Last Order, since any mention of it seems to send people into a mouth-foaming rant about how Sony HAS to include it on the R1 Advent Children disc because they OWE it to the fans for delaying the film. Then again, mentioning Advent Children tends to have the same effect. Rabid, angry ranting about delays and so forth. It's all a little tiresome.

Regardless, you're a little misinformed; Last Order is a single-episode OAV that was only available in the mega-expensive Japanese Advent Children box set, "Advent Pieces". It's about a half-hour long and covers some of the material in the Final Fantasy VII video game. Will it be made available here? Well, not in the forseeable future; Square hasn't announced that it'll be available on the Advent Children DVD, and frankly I can't see them releasing it on a single disc anytime in the future, so odds are kinda low that it'll pop up here. It might be included as an extra on one of the many upcoming Final Fantasy VII games for PS2 or PSP, but hey, you never know.


I loved the series Hand Maid May and when I heard about the OAV of it (Hand Maid Mai) back in 2003, I was happy to see something new from the creators of the series...but Five Ways, producer of the title Hand Maid Mai when bankrupt back then so my question is the OAV dead or is there something in the works for it to be brought back in the spotlight?

Short answer: nope.

Five Ways went bankrupt and basically everything they were working on got scrapped. Hand Maid Mai was widely dismissed as an over-the-top fanservice fest
(even moreso than its jiggle-laden predecessor, Hand Maid May) with a razor-thin storyline and a plot that was little more than an excuse for the characters to strip or get fondled. It was kind of like a sick dog; better that they put it down rather than let it continue to live. If anyone decided to resurrect the project, I'd be shocked, especially considering the fact that Hand Maid May is all but forgotten these days.

Hello, ive been digging around on the net and found an interesting trailer to a new Hellsing seires. it supposedly has been released on 2-10-06. Is it
true? should i got questing for a copy of it, or is it just like the falsified DBAF?

Man, I'm getting a ton of emails about the new Hellsing OAV. Geneon should get that thing out as quick as possible and wait for the piles of cash to start rolling in. Seriously, that was a genius move on their part.

You know,
I've noticed at cons and in interviews over the years that when you ask a Japanese anime director if they're going to make more Trigun/Cowboy Bebop/what-have-you, they hem and haw and say "well maybe", and when you turn around and ask the American DVD distributor they get a desperate gleam in their eye and say "well for god's sake I hope so". Obviously these properties are a license to print money in the States and I never understood why the Japanese seem to be so reluctant to pump out a sequel series or two. I mean, there's a ton of Trigun manga that hasn't been animated; just do the TV series. You'll make a ton of cash and the fans will be happy. What's the holdup? Where's the problem there? It's just good business sense.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes, the new Hellsing OAV is real and it's coming out this fall from Geneon Entertainment. The first 50-minute episode is out in Japan already, with volume 2 coming in April.


I know Funimation is re-releasing Dragon Ball Z in its Ultimate Uncut Editions.  My question is:  Are they going to do this with the whole series or just the first 52 episodes.  I've heard that since that is where Funimation took over the Dubbing rights to the series that its where they will stop releasing the Ultimate Uncuts, at episode 52.  I've waited for the Ultimate Uncuts to even start Buying the series.  Can you tell me, or find out perhaps, if they plan on continuing to release the rest of the series in this format?

The Ultimate Uncuts (a title which, I admit, made me laugh because it could also easily be a porn title) will eventually go to episode 67, since that's where Pioneer's heavily edited dub ended.

It'd be kind of a waste of time if they did continue past episode 67, since FUNimation's DVD release beyond that point were all completely uncut. Basically, with the Uncut editions, FUNimation is going back and restoring the first 67 episodes, complete with a new dub and picture restoration. They're also doing the first three movies that Pioneer released, Dead Zone, The Tree of Might and World's Strongest.

That said, it might be worth your while to start buying the Uncuts and then the post-67 DVDs that already exist, since if you're working on anything resembling a budget it's going to take you a really, really long time to pay for 291 episodes of Dragon Ball.


anyway, do you know when[or if] the gundam seed destiny series will be released in the US because I'm a pretty big fan of mobile suit gundam.  I have been wanting to see this for a while now. and I want to know if there will ever be an animated ending for love hina, a real one like the manga epilogues. one more thing will there ever be a AI love you! anime?

As Bandai has said over and over again, the answer to the question "Is Gundam (insert series name here) ever coming out in the US?" is always going to be "yes, eventually". Gundam Seed Destiny vol. 1 streets on March 14th, but since most large retailers break street on anime, you can probably find it right now or perhaps next week. I heard Gundam Seed Destiny is like watching a train wreck in slow motion and gets continually more and more ridiculous with each episode, so make sure you keep your expectations at a manageable level.

I doubt they're ever going to animate any more Love Hina; the manga's done in the US, Akamatsu has moved on to Negima (beyond that bizarro thing on his website where he said Keitarō and Naru got married) and the show's fans seem to have migrated to other harem anime series. It just isn't the hot property it was a few years ago and didn't really remain evergreen thanks to a slew of copycats and a lack of new material. Same thing goes for AI Love You!. The manga was never that popular to begin with and I doubt they'd go back and animate it, especially since it's long since over and Negima has skyrocketed in popularity. But hey, you never know; one day they might get desperate.





No flake this week, aside from the odd few who complain about kitten photos every week. I'm just not a dog person... but then, I'd have to be inhuman not to find Labrador puppies pretty damn cute.

My job here is done.






Alright, it's been two long weeks and I've read more cliched anime synopses than I'd ever care to, but I'm ready to announce the winner. I want to point out that the sheer amount of effort put in to some of these really blew me away, and that choosing just one to win the grand prize was extremely difficult.

That said, our grand prize winner is Wendy Davis' show, "The Adventures of Magical Kitty Princess Cutie-Kat". Here's a synopsis:

"Perky blonde thirteen-year-old Sakura Nanasho is just your typical Japanese middle school girl. She's ditzy, clumsy, boy-crazy, can't cook, and has an endless appetite for desserts. Her life is turned upside-down when, as she frantically runs to get to school on time, she trips over a cute, fluffy pink kitten on the sidewalk! Sakura puts a bandage on the bruise on its head and hurries to school. When she gets there (late), she finds a mysterious pink compact bearing a paw print in her bag- and the kitten.

Next thing she knows, the kitten- Pinkuneko, her now-new mascot- whisks Sakura away to a magical pseudo-medieval world. Now she can transform into the magical girl Princess Kitty Cutie-Kat, a busty pink-mini-skirted cat-girl who fights for love and justice, backed by ten bishounen warriors after her love! Things escalate when her best friend, smart, popular, and wealthy Hanako Saburo, also enters this world- as Enchanting Princess Puppy-Paw, champion of their enemies! Even worse, she develops feelings for Sakura's favorite (angsty) defender, Guriel. Suddenly they find themselves rivals, in both combat and love. As they travel between Japan and Eporue, trying to preserve their friendship, they find themselves followed by citizens of the countries they defend!

Suddenly Tokyo is overrun by voluptuous cat-girls and puppy-girls in maid dresses and bikinis, half of which start fighting over Sakura's hapless brother Yuki, who only wants to make it into university on his fifth try, preferably without suffocating in ample bosoms first…. The rest battle throughout the city, putting the populace (and Tokyo Tower) in extreme danger. When Yuki's glasses-wearing genius friend Akihito reveals his newest invention, five giant robot combat units, things get really hairy….

Want to see what happens when perverted comedy and drama collide? Find out on “Adventures of Magical Kitty Princess Cutie-Kat!”

It's as though Wendy has some kind of nightmare loom where memories of the worst anime I've ever seen have been weaved into a tapestry of pure horror. She also concocted this animated .gif of "Princess Puppy-Paws" transforming:



That's not all. What really cinched this for Wendy is the fake fan site she made for her fake show. Check it out here. Make sure you visit the 'art gallery' and the 'merchandise'. Yes, Wendy set up a Cafepress store for this thing. If I could administer a golf clap over the internet, I would.

Now, Wendy's entry might have won this week, but the fact of the matter is, I received so many hilarious and creative entries for this contest and I'd like to publish as many of them as I can. For the next few weeks, in this space, I'll be awarding runner-up prizes for some of the hundreds of other entries that piled into my mailbox.


Some of these are ridiculously spot-on; I feel it's my duty to share them with the world. So, if you didn't win this time, watch this space over the coming weeks; if you see your work here, I'll send you a prize.

Thanks for reading, and we'll see you next week!




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