So I Interviewed a Spider, So What?by Theron Martin,
In the depths of the Great Elroe Labyrinth, a lone spider scuttles about, eyeing its environment warily with her eight eyes. She is giant by the standards of normal spiders but not large at all by the standards of monster spiders, which she is one.
Suddenly, a curious device – or certainly curious by the standards of the fantasy world she now lives in – appears in the spider's path. She rolls some of her eyes and thinks, “Ugh! Not again!” as a voice speaks out from the phone.
The spider thinks, “Hey, you're not that bastard D. What gives?” The voice emanating from the phone seems to be able to hear her anyway.
Bastard? That seems rather harsh.
“D claims to be the world's most evil god. Bastard fits.”
Point taken. Anyway, D said that this was the best way to contact you. Call me T.
“Oookay, T. So what's your deal? You another god?”
Oh, no. I'm just an anime reviewer. I am contacting you because I would like to interview you about the upcoming anime about your story, called So I'm a Spider, So What?
“Whaaaaat? Wait a minute, they made an anime about lil' old me?”
Well, there has been a light novel series shortly due to release its 14th volume in Japan and a manga series nine volumes long, so it was bound to happen. Been in the works for a couple of years, actually.
“Maaan, time flies when you're scrabbling for your life in a place with no sunlight. So an anime, huh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh heh heh. . . .”
Focus, please. To help get readers of the website I write for pumped up for the series, I'd like to ask you a few questions.
The spider concentrates for a moment. “Okay, no beasties in the area, so I guess I'm good. Fire away.”
So how did you end up – you know – as a spider?
“Funny thing about that – I'm not sure. Last thing I remember in Japan was sitting in Ms. Oka's Classical Literature class like any normal day, minding my own business, and then WHAM! Something happened. “
“Yeah, something god-awfully painful. Guess I died instantly, 'cause the next thing I knew, I was cracking my way out of an egg shell and – get this – I was a spider.
And there was this ginormous spider and all sorts of other little spiders around crackin' out of their shells and trying to eat each other. Man, getting out of that was rough.”
So you got reincarnated, then?
“I guess. And the weird thing is, this new world had a game-like stat and skill system, just like in those isekai stories. I could call it up with this skill Appraisal that I got first, though it took a while to level it up enough to be useful.”
Um, I think you actually are living out an isekai story now.
“Waaaaah? Huh, never really thought about it that way. I mean, I was a pretty good free-to-play gamer before, so I guess maybe that's why I caught on so quick.”
I take it getting acclimated to your new life was rough?
“Totally! But, y'know, it's my life now, so I knew I had to adapt. Even made myself a nice little web home – I got pretty good at using my spider thread pretty quick – and had all these plans to continue to be a recluse. But fire and webs don't mix.”
I can see that. So what's it like being a spider?
“Ooooh, spider thread is fun! You can do all sorts of cool things with it if you put in enough practice. Having the extra eyes and legs, well, that has its advantages, too.”
“The food, definitely. Gotta eat other monsters, and some of 'em taste awful. What I wouldn't give for some tasty food!
“Oh, yeah, and spiders are pretty weak stats-wise, at least until they've evolved a few times. I was weaker than a lot of things I fought, so I had to get real creative.”
What's the most troublesome thing you have fought so far?
“A lot of things were trouble. The bees were really a problem early on, and of course that dragon I kept having to dodge. Scared the bejeezus outta me.
But the biggest problem was probably those revenge monkeys. Man, don't ever get them going. They're a huuuuuge pain.”
“Uhhhh, that hasn't gone well so far. They tend to get the wrong idea quick, you know?”
I bet. What about the thing with that giant egg you found early on?
“What egg? I don't know what you're talking about. There was never any egg I found and couldn't crack, no matter what I tried. Nope, no way.”
If you say so. Do you have a goal in mind? Beyond just surviving, I mean?
“Getting out of this labyrinth, I guess? And finding some tasty food. Definitely that. Maybe find out if any of my classmates got reincarnated, too.”
I see. My time on this call is almost up. Any last statement for the fans out there?
“Whaaaaat? You mean I have to talk to people? I dunno, man. I was never good at talking to people.”
But you're talking freely to me.
“But you're just an anime reviewer. You don't count.”
Ouch. And on that note, I'll leave you to your business. Oh, and watch out for the Demon Lord.
“Um, I think you just said something really important there at the end. . .”
But whatever the spider's further thoughts on the matter might have been, they were lost, for the phone disappeared, leaving her alone once again in the labyrinth.
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