August 11 - 17
by Brian Hanson,
I know its only been a mere seven days, but sometimes it seriously feels like an eternity since I last sat down in front of my ever-fading computer screen to knock out some TV listings for the benefit of all you good boys and girls.
I suppose it would somewhat disingenuous, then, to abandon my usual frivolity in exchange for a somewhat - somewhat - serious tone this week. In fact, I'm also going to forgo the usual Click Pick nonsense for something else entirely. Something else worthy of big, giant boldface font, with perhaps an underline, and maybe italics. Something I'd like to call:
STATE OF THE ANIME ON TV UNION!
Every anime fan who feels somewhat ashamed, or at least underwhelmed, by the lack of mainstream success of their favorite hobby always has that pie-in-the-sky dream of one day, being able to approach a complete stranger and mention anime, without the usual "An-uh-may? Those crazy Japanese porn cartoons with the big eyes and stupid stuff? And tentacles! I hear they have tentacles in them! I heard so on the internet." Sadly, that day is still quite a distant dream. But, two things have since shown me that despite being an admittedly "niche" market, anime still has plenty of muscle in the entertainment world. One - two weeks ago, a premier airing of a new episode of Bleach garnered a quite impressive 575,000 viewers in its target demographic. Which, for those new to this whole "cynical TV critic" game, means that approximately, give or take, more than half a million fully-functioning adults chose to watch a Japanese animated series at midnight on a Saturday, to say nothing of the probably larger number of teenagers that also tuned in. For all the hand-wringing that exists about the fallacies of the Nielsen ratings system, this is an impressive number. Two - this coming weekend, the Cartoon Network is literally going Naruto-crazy, by airing a marathon of three straight days' worth of Naruto episodes. Regardless of whatever feelings one might have towards the orange-jumpsuit-wearing moppet, this is a surprising vote of confidence on the part of one of the largest cable networks in North America, especially considering that weekends tend to be, for a children's network anyway, the highest rated days of the week.
Outside of the Cartoon Network, though, things look simply wonderful all around. Not in the sense that they have blockbuster ratings to look forward to, because, well, they don't. But the lineup is both varied and impressive, which is good news for everyone hoping for a low-risk, totally legal way to sample anime without forking over 30 bucks for four episodes.
Now, with all that serious business settled, let's move on to what everybody visits The Click for: closeups of birthday cakes being stomped on by combat boots!
Tuesday August 14 7:00pm - Episode 3 "Yotsuya Ghost Story, Part 3" (Repeats Tue Aug 14 10:00pm, Wed Aug 15 2:30am, 2:00pm)
If you've got a hankerin' for some Ghost Stories, but with a tinge of ancient Japanese folklore and mythology, Ayakashi's got you covered.
Sunday August 12 12:00am - Episode 45 (Repeats Sun Aug 12 3:30am)
The Bankai is, like, when your power is immense and ultimate and reaches its most powerful form of power. Ichigo attempts to reach this power through training and calisthenics and the South Beach Diet.
Sunday August 12 12:30am - Episode 21 "Sour Grapes" (Repeats Sun Aug 12 4:00am)
Saya and her group run afoul of a hooded group of no-goodniks, out to cause untold harm! But who are these strange, masked men? Saya seeks to find this out.
Saturday August 11 10:00pm - Episode 69 "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy! Bo-Bobo's In My Tummy"
No amount of joy can be properly expressed in written form, to show my excitement that somebody, somewhere has read my epic Bo-Bobo "vore" fanfic, and decided to animate it. If I were to die at this exact moment, I would die a happy, fulfilled man.
-Monday August 13 9:30am - Episode 28 "Lost Memory" (Repeats Tue Aug 14 5:00am)
-Tuesday August 14 9:30am - Episode 29 "The Magnificent Show" (Repeats Wed Aug 15 5:00am)
-Wednesday August 15 9:30am - Episode 30 "The Death Smell at the Health Club" (Repeats Thu Aug 16 5:00am)
The lovely ladies of the Cat's Eye cafe lose themselves in work this week, stealin' and swindlin' and generally taking things that are not theirs. As well as solving mysteries and forging relationships and truly understanding the meaning of the term "sisterhood."
Saturday August 11 12:00am - Episode 9 "Angel's Share" (Repeats Thu Aug 16 12:00am, 12:30am)
A charming, dashing individual named Hauer invites the haggard Vincent into his private quarters for some wine. Cue the porno music.
Thursday August 16 8:00pm - Episode 4 "Futu-Risk"
Vincent begins his trek alongside some long-suffering exiles from the city of Romdo, and the ever-vigilant Re-l is hot on his trail, looking for clues. Clues to the, uh, mystery.
Tuesday August 14 5:00pm - Episode 3 "I Didn't Mean It" (Repeats Tue Aug 14 8:00pm, Wed Aug 15 12:30am, 12:00pm)
The omnipotent middle-schooler, Yurie, becomes so wrapped up in the various personal problems of her school chums - most of which revolve around money, or the lack thereof - that she neglects to find her missing cat. It's times like these when atheism is so much simpler.
Kyo kara Maoh!
Tuesday August 14 5:30pm - Episode 29 "A Hair-Raising Prologue" (Repeats Tue Aug 14 8:30pm, Wed Aug 15 1:00am, 12:30pm)
Fret not, folks; the "Teenager Who Begrudgingly Becomes Royalty or a God or Whatever" genre is still alive and well! This week's Kyo kara Maoh! starts off a new plot arc, wherein a mysterious evil sweeps throughout the kingdom, and Yuri's demon kingdom must step in to help. Sounds blasé, sure, but did I mention all the hot guys???
Sunday August 12 8:00pm - Episode 4 "Zugzwang" (Repeats Mon Aug 13 12:00am)
After deciding to take Alvis, a mysterious orphan girl, to her destination, the young hotshot pilots Klaus and Lavie have discovered that their home has been mysteriously destroyed. Bad guys are afoot!
The Law of Ueki
Tuesday August 14 6:00pm - Episode 31 "The Law of the Strongest Tag" (Repeats Tue Aug 14 9:00pm, Wed Aug 15 1:30am, 1:00pm)
Law of Ueki is one surreal, bizarre little show. This week, Ueki's teammates fight against a powerful duo; one who can materialize bad puns into physical property (!!!), while the other is able to turn drawings into a deadly weapon. Sometimes, there are no words.
-Friday August 17 7:00pm - Episode 100 "The Sensei and the Student: Bond of the Shinobi"
-Friday August 17 7:30pm - Episode 101 "Gotta See! Gotta Know! Kakashi Sensei's True Face"
-Friday August 17 8:00pm - Episode 102 "Mission: Help and Old Friend in the Land of Tea"
-Friday August 17 8:30pm - Episode 103 "The Race Is On! Trouble on the High Seas!"
-Friday August 17 9:00pm - Episode 104 "Run Idate Run! Nagi Island Awaits!"
While the Cartoon Network busies itself with three whole days' worth of Naruto, YTV prepares its own little Naruto expulsion - but with wholly brand-new episodes, though! Watch as the dreaded, much-maligned "filler" starts, as the trio spend a day obsessing over Kakashi's cloaked face, and later become embroiled in a strange race in a far-off "Land of Tea."
Monday August 13 11:00pm - Episode 8 "Secrets"
This week on Noein: Feelings. Specifically, the lingering issues we all feel from neglectful parents, cheesy 80's buddy cop comedies, and Dr. Demento recordings.
Saturday August 11 10:30pm - Episode 100 "The Rainbow Mist"
The Straw Hat crew find themselves practically trapped on a strange island with an all-encompassing tax law. Basically, the sort of things that make Libertarians cry themselves to sleep at night.
-Monday August 13 8:30am - Episode 26 "Breakdown" (Repeats Tue Aug 14 5:30am)
-Tuesday August 14 8:30am - Episode 27 "Message" (Repeats Wed Aug 15 5:30am)
-Wednesday August 15 8:30am - Episode 28 "Come Back Lover" (Repeats Thu Aug 16 5:30am)
-Thursday August 16 8:30am - Episode 29 "Choice" (Repeats Fri Aug 17 5:30am)
-Friday August 17 8:30am - Episode 30 "Outside" (Repeats Sat Aug 18 5:30am)
There are those of you who have spent perhaps hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of dollars on imported Orguss model kits. You, who have mastered and translated every Super Robot Taisen videogame with an Orguss mech or two in it. This, here, the televised Orguss broadcast, is the proverbial fruit of that labor. You are all welcome.
With the main impetus of the story in place, this episode focuses on the myriad of crushes and forlorn love and such that makes the melodrama as thick as molasses in July. Yukari likes Tokumori, but then starts crushing hardcore on George, and other love tetrahedrons!
Friday August 17 8:00pm - Episode 4 "A Man's Path"
The detectives learn that each of Lil' Slugger's victims has a relationship with the previous victim, which then leads the desperate duo to a corrupt policeman with a debt to the Yakuza. In case you couldn't guess, this one doesn't end well.
Monday August 13 6:00am - Episode 30 "A Brother's Ring" (Repeats Mon Aug 13 9:00am, Tue Aug 14 4:30am)
Good Lord this is a maudlin show. A pox on the houses of everybody involved with creating and translating this wonderfully animated, seemingly upbeat but horrendously depressing slice of an orphan's childhood.
Serial Experiments Lain
Saturday August 11 8:00pm - Episode 4 "Religion" (Repeats Sun Aug 12 12:00am)
Lain's grotesque curiosity into the inner workings of the WIRED leaves her family a little worried, especially after a dark online game leaves dozens dead.
Saturday August 11 12:30am - Episode 9 "Regulation" (Repeats Sat Aug 11 1:00pm, 1:30pm)
The upstart Juken club narrowly avoids being annihilated thanks to a clever ruse on behalf of a close friend, but the Executive Council's supreme strength worries the otherwise cool and collected Maya. Then: cleavage shots and low-angle panty shots. In the same frame.
This episode goes a long way to explain the definition and process of "Texhnolyze," which involves a lot of cyber-talk and high-falutin' sci-fi mumbo jumbo, of which I am ill equipped to discuss at length. Without seeming like what the kids call a "noob."
Monday August 13 11:30pm - Episode 8 "Time To Say Goodbye"
The maligned Shindo is still questioning his worth as a cop, and makes a painful decision to keep on keepin' on as part of the Tokko squad, or to quit everything and seek vengeance against those who killed his family. It's the Batman complex.
Sunday August 12 8:30pm - Episode 4 "The Full Moon: Ruri's Feelings" (Repeats Mon Aug 13 12:30am)
The noble Rumina and his would-Be Love interest, Ruri, exchange a few tender moments, as the tough-talkin' kid explains the concept of school to the clueless refugee, and the two gaze at the full moon in perhaps some grand metaphor for the meaning of existence.
Saturday August 11 4:30pm
Naruto: Mission: Protect the Waterfall Village
Saturday August 11 8:30pm
Thursday August 16 11:00am
A not-terrible Naruto special and two Pokémon movies are the only low points of an otherwise exceptional week of televised animated excitement, I would say. I'll be back next week of course, for more insightful commentary on the state of the industry, along with helpful household hints!
-Sun Aug 12 2:00am - Episode 5 "Cross Island" (R Sun Aug 5 5:30am)
-Sun Aug 12 11:30pm - Episode 2 "Yotsuya Ghost Story, Part 2" (R Mon Aug 13 4:00am, 3:30pm)
-Wed Aug 15 12:30am - Episode 42 (R Wed Aug 15 4:00am)
-Thu Aug 16 12:30am - Episode 43 (R Thu Aug 16 4:00am)
-Fri Aug 17 12:30am - Episode 44 (R Fri Aug 17 4:00am)
-Sat Aug 18 12:30am - Episode 45 (R Sat Aug 18 4:00am)
-Thu Aug 16 9:30am - Episode 20 (R Fri Aug 17 5:00am)
-Fri Aug 17 9:30am - Episode 21 (R Sat Aug 18 5:00am)
-Sun Aug 12 11:20pm - Episode 20 "Temptation" (R Fri Aug 17 2:05am)
-Sun Aug 12 11:50pm - Episode 21 "Mary Magdalene" (R Fri Aug 17 2:30am)
-Fri Aug 17 9:00pm - Episode 22 "Sayonara"
-Sat Aug 11 5:30pm - Episode 176 "Darkest Before Duskmon" (R Sat Aug 11 10:30pm)
-Sun Aug 12 5:30pm - Episode 177 "Home Again, Takuya Returns" (R Sun Aug 12 10:30pm)
-Mon Aug 13 8:00am - Episode 120 "Back to Nature, Back to Battle" (R Tue Aug 14 2:00am)
-Tue Aug 14 2:30am - Episode 152 "Shadow of the Beast King"
-Tue Aug 14 8:00am - Episode 121 "Duel With the Deva" (R Wed Aug 15 2:00am)
-Tue Aug 14 7:30pm - Episode 168 "Better an Egg Than an Egg Shell"
-Tue Aug 14 9:30pm - Episode 153 "D-Reaper's Feast" (R Wed Aug 15 2:30am)
-Wed Aug 15 8:00am - Episode 122 "Digital Beauty" (R Thu Aug 16 2:00am)
-Wed Aug 15 7:30pm - Episode 169 "No Whamon"
-Wed Aug 15 9:30pm - Episode 154 "Jeri Fights Back" (R Thu Aug 16 2:30am)
-Thu Aug 16 8:00am - Episode 123 "Impmon's Last Stand" (R Fri Aug 17 2:00am)
-Thu Aug 16 7:30pm - Episode 170 "Beastie Girl"
-Thu Aug 16 9:30pm - Episode 155 "Such Sweet Sorrow" (R Fri Aug 17 2:30am)
-Fri Aug 17 8:00am - Episode 124 "Out of the Blue" (R Sat Aug 18 2:00am)
-Fri Aug 17 9:30pm - Episode 1 "And So It Begins..." (R Sat Aug 18 2:30am)
-Wed Aug 15 1:00am - Episode 30 "Assault on South Headquarters" (R Wed Aug 15 4:30am)
-Thu Aug 16 1:00am - Episode 31 "Sin" (R Thu Aug 16 4:30am)
-Fri Aug 17 1:00am - Episode 32 "Dante of the Deep Forest" (R Fri Aug 17 4:30am)
-Sat Aug 18 1:00am - Episode 33 "Al, Captured" (R Sat Aug 18 4:30am)
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd GIG
-Sun Aug 12 1:00am - Episode 13 "Make Up" (R Sun Aug 12 4:30am)
-Wed Aug 15 1:30am - Episode 108 "The Secret of the Pure Light" (R Wed Aug 15 5:00am)
-Wed Aug 15 2:00am - Episode 109 "Hidden in the Mist: Onward to Mt. Hakurei" (R Wed Aug 15 5:30am)
-Thu Aug 16 1:30am - Episode 110 "Enter Bankotsu, the Leader of the Band of Seven" (R Thu Aug 16 5:00am)
-Thu Aug 16 2:00am - Episode 111 "The Big Clash: Banryu vs. Wind Scar" (R Thu Aug 16 5:30am)
-Fri Aug 17 1:30am - Episode 112 "The Barrier of Hijiri Island" (R Fri Aug 17 5:00am)
-Fri Aug 17 2:00am - Episode 113 "The Sacred Vajara and the Mystery of the Living Buddha" (R Fri Aug 17 5:30am)
-Sat Aug 18 1:30am - Episode 114 "Koga's Solitary Battle" (R Sat Aug 18 5:00am)
-Sat Aug 18 2:00am - Episode 115 "Lured by the Black Light" (R Sat Aug 18 5:30am)
-Sun Aug 12 9:30pm - Episode 2 "Please God" (R Mon Aug 13 2:00am, 1:30pm)
Kyo kara Maoh!
-Sun Aug 12 10:00pm - Episode 28 "A Brutal Reunion" (R Mon Aug 13 2:30am, 2:00pm)
-Sun Aug 12 1:00am - Episode TBA (R Tue Aug 14 2:00am)
-Sun Aug 12 1:30am - Episode TBA (R Tue Aug 14 2:30am)
-Sun Aug 12 2:00am - Episode TBA (R Tue Aug 14 3:00am)
-Sun Aug 12 2:30am - Episode TBA (R Tue Aug 14 3:30am)
-Mon Aug 13 8:30pm - Episode TBA (R Tue Aug 14 5:30am)
-Tue Aug 14 8:30pm - Episode TBA (R Wed Aug 15 1:30am, 5:30am)
-Wed Aug 15 8:30pm - Episode TBA (R Thu Aug 16 1:30am, 5:30am)
The Law of Ueki
-Sun Aug 12 10:30pm - Episode 30 "The Law of the Third Battle" (R Mon Aug 13 3:00am, 2:30pm)
-Mon Aug 13 10:30pm - Episode 28 "Eat or Be Eaten: Panic in the Forest" (R Fri Aug 17 7:30pm)
-Tue Aug 14 10:30pm - Episode 29 "Naruto's Counterattack: Never Give In" (R Fri Aug 17 8:00pm)
-Wed Aug 15 10:30pm - Episode 30 "The Sharingan Revived: Dragon-Flame Jutsu!" (R Fri Aug 17 8:30pm)
-Thu Aug 16 10:30pm - Episode 31 "Bushy Brow's Pledge: Undying Love and Protection!" (R Fri Aug 17 9:00pm)
-Fri Aug 17 6:00am - Episode 1 "Enter: Naruto Uzumaki"
-Fri Aug 17 6:30am - Episode 2 "My Name is Konohamaru"
-Fri Aug 17 7:00am - Episode 3 "Sasuke and Sakura: Friends or Foes?"
-Fri Aug 17 7:30am - Episode 4 "Pass or Fail: Survival Test"
-Fri Aug 17 8:00am - Episode 5 "You Failed! Kakashi's Final Decision"
-Fri Aug 17 8:30am - Episode 6 "A Dangerous Mission! Journey to the Land of Waves"
-Fri Aug 17 9:00am - Episode 7 "The Assassin of the Mist"
-Fri Aug 17 9:30am - Episode 8 "The Oath of Pain"
-Fri Aug 17 10:00am - Episode 9 "Kakashi: Sharingan Warrior"
-Fri Aug 17 10:30am - Episode 10 "The Forest of Chakra"
-Fri Aug 17 11:00am - Episode 11 "The Land Where a Hero Once Lived"
-Fri Aug 17 11:30am - Episode 12 "Battle on the Bridge! Zabuza Returns!"
-Fri Aug 17 12:00pm - Episode 13 "Haku's Secret Jutsu: Crystal Ice Mirrors"
-Fri Aug 17 12:30pm - Episode 14 "The Number One Hyperactive, Knucklehead Ninja Joins the Fight"
-Fri Aug 17 1:00pm - Episode 15 "Zero Visibility: The Sharingan Shatters"
-Fri Aug 17 1:30pm - Episode 16 "The Broken Seal"
-Fri Aug 17 2:00pm - Episode 17 "White Past: Hidden Ambition"
-Fri Aug 17 2:30pm - Episode 18 "The Weapons Known as Shinobi"
-Fri Aug 17 3:00pm - Episode 19 "The Demon in the Snow"
-Fri Aug 17 3:30pm - Episode 20 "A New Chapter Begins: The Chunin Exam"
-Fri Aug 17 4:00pm - Episode 21 "Meet Your Opponents: The Genin Arrive"
-Fri Aug 17 4:30pm - Episode 22 "Chunin Challenge: Rock Lee vs. Sasuke"
-Fri Aug 17 5:00pm - Episode 23 "Genin Takedown: All Nine Rookies Face Off"
-Fri Aug 17 5:30pm - Episode 24 "Start Your Engines: The Chunin Exam Begins"
-Fri Aug 17 6:00pm - Episode 25 "The Tenth Question: All or Nothing"
-Fri Aug 17 6:30pm - Episode 26 "Special Report: Live From the Forest of Death"
-Fri Aug 17 7:00pm - Episode 27 "The Chunin Exam Stage 2: The Forest of Death"
-Fri Aug 17 9:30pm - Episode 32 "Sakura Blossoms"
-Fri Aug 17 10:00pm - Episode 33 "Battle Formation: Ino-Shika-Cho!"
-Fri Aug 17 10:30pm - Episode 34 "Akamaru Trembles"
-Sat Aug 11 11:30pm - Episode 23 "Cruel Like Kross"
-Sun Aug 12 2:30am - Episode 10 "Resistant Like Rush"
-Sun Aug 12 11:30pm - Episode 24 "Canaletto's Revenge"
-Mon Aug 13 2:30am - Episode 11 "Silent Like Spirit"
-Sun Aug 12 11:00pm - Episode 2 "Illumination" (R Mon Aug 13 3:30am, 3:00pm)
-Sat Aug 11 9:00am - Episode 485 "Twice Smitten, Once Shy"
-Sat Aug 11 9:30am - Episode 486 "Mutiny in the Bounty"
-Mon Aug 13 4:00pm - Episode 87 "Fit to be Tide"
-Mon Aug 13 4:30pm - Episode 88 "Pikachu Re-Volts"
-Mon Aug 13 5:00pm - Episode 89 "The Crystal Onix"
-Mon Aug 13 5:30pm - Episode 90 "In the Pink"
-Mon Aug 13 6:00pm - Episode 91 "Shell Shock"
-Mon Aug 13 6:30pm - Episode 92 "Stagefright"
-Mon Aug 13 7:30pm - Episode 477 "Mounting a Coordinator Assault"
-Tue Aug 14 7:30pm - Episdoe 478 "Arrival of a Rival"
-Wed Aug 15 7:30pm - Episode 479 "A Staravia Is Born"
-Thu Aug 16 7:30pm - Episode 480 "Leave It to Brocko"
-Tue Aug 14 6:00am - Episode 20 "Remi and the Wolves" (R Tue Aug 14 9:00am, Wed Aug 15 4:30am)
-Wed Aug 15 6:00am - Episode 21 "Birth of a New Life" (R Wed Aug 15 9:00am, Thu Aug 16 4:30am)
-Thu Aug 16 6:00am - Episode 22 "Joli-Coeur the Star" (R Thu Aug 16 9:00am, Fri Aug 17 4:30am)
-Fri Aug 17 6:00am - Episode 23 "A Wonderful Teacher" (R Fri Aug 17 9:00am, Sat Aug 18 4:30am)
-Sat Aug 11 11:30pm - Episode 10 "Can't Abort Them When They're Not Yours" (R Sun Aug 12 3:00am)
-Tue Aug 14 4:00am - Episode 2 "Bee-Ware the Hunters"
-Wed Aug 15 4:00am - Episode 3 "Web of Evil"
-Thu Aug 16 4:00am - Episode 4 "Day at the Park"
-Fri Aug 17 4:00am - Episode 5 "Kiri"
-Sat Aug 18 4:00am - Episode 6 "Battling Daku"
-Sat Aug 11 7:30am - Episode 15 "Skirmish in the Sky"
Street Fighter II V
-Tue Aug 14 12:00am - Episode 7 "The Revenge of Ashur"
-Tue Aug 14 12:30am - Episode 8 "Trap, Prison and the Scream of Truth"
-Mon Aug 13 6:00am - Episode 31 "Cybertron"
-Tue Aug 14 6:00am - Episode 32 "Balance"
-Wed Aug 15 6:00am - Episode 33 "Darkness"
-Thu Aug 16 6:00am - Episode 34 "Memory"
-Sun Aug 12 1:30am - Episode 12 "The Ibelis I: Evening Visitors" (R Sun Aug 12 5:00am)
-Sat Aug 11 10:30am - Episode 141 "The Final Face Off, Part 4"
-Mon Aug 13 6:30am - Episode 101 "The Phoenix Has Landed, Part 2"
-Tue Aug 14 6:30am - Episode 102 "The Hands of Justice, Part 1"
-Wed Aug 15 6:30am - Episode 103 "The Hands of Justice, Part 2"
-Thu Aug 16 6:30am - Episode 104 "Future Changes"
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