Episode 7

by Nicholas Dupree,

How would you rate episode 7 of

EX-ARM has never made a secret of its political ambitions. From the very first second of its opening episode, this series has been a razor-sharp commentary on the modern world, and each episode since has worked to craft new layers of intrigue, nuance, and thematic resonance. It's no stretch to call this show the defining work of fiction of the past century, and quite likely the next century as well. So when this latest episode promised to create an even more complicated and politically incisive storyline, I thought it would be impossible. Not as impossible as a bee, though. After all, according to all known laws of aviation a bee shouldn't be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway, because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

“Ugh, really, the Bee Movie gag?”

A man looks up from his laptop screen. Across the living room sits a woman, lounging on the couch, scrolling on her phone and looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“What? It's a good bit,” the man responds, rolling his eyes.

“Sure, like five years ago. Who even remembers that meme?”

“I do.”

“Well your brain's a steel trap for bullshit. You might as well publish the whole John Galt speech while you're at it.”

“Look, what do you want from me? I had something else planned but didn't have the time to put it together this week. My hard drive crapping out on me set me back on work for everything.”

“Dude, you're the one who signed up for this. Put some effort into the bit if you're going to keep it up.”

“Oh eat me. You're the one who told me the whole Capital A ‘Art’ thing was waning by ep 4.”

“'Cause it was.”

Anyway, now I've gotta like, come up with a new gimmick every week. Because god knows nobody wants a straightforward review of this garbage.”

“What's even happening in the story now? I was using your reviews to keep up but last week you just went on about Macross for way too long.”

“Hell if I know. I lost the plot when they had that virtual reality. Now suddenly the one cop chick has an evil robot brother who wants to kill some old evil guy, and the android girl has been brainwashed to be evil or something.”

“God that sounds stupid.”

“It is.”

“And wait, what was with that ringing sound I heard earlier? It really freaked out the dog.”

“Ok so that's the dumbest god damn thing. There's some random villain who has the power to turn off sound or something yeah? And the way they show that is to just shut off the soundtrack and replace it with this ambient ringing noise. It goes on for like two minutes through a whole fight scene.”

“What the fuck.”

“You see what I'm having to work with? How do I spin this turd into gold?

“Dunno dude, but good luck with that.”

“Gee, thanks.”

The man turns back to the computer screen, a single paragraph in his word document standing, stagnant and solitary, a monument to imminent burnout. He rummages through his pockets and extricates a pair of headphones to plug in. Perhaps he thinks some music will help. He remembers there's a new Tigers Jaw single out. He's never been a fan of that band in particular, but “Lemon Mouth” and “Hesitation” were both fantastic, so he's hoping their new album may just be what unlocks them for him. He finds the song streaming and lets it play on repeat, tapping along, browsing Twitter and checking the news, ardently not opening up the word document tab left rotting on his taskbar.

So in conclusion, EX-ARM answers once and for all the question of whether or not it's ethical to harvest honey, makes a persuasive argument for digging up Richard Nixon just to kill him again, and may one day lead to a spiritual revolution to rival the Great Awakening. Plus, the fanservice ain't nothing to sneeze at if you know what I mean.


EX-ARM is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.

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