October 11th - 17th
by Brian Hanson,
Hello, hi, yes, welcome. Welcome to The Click, the thing that sprouts forth once every week like some kind of infectious bacteria, and probably twice as harmful, in order to deliver the freshest, slickest, and most dope TV listings this side of the Adirondacks. I'm Brian Hanson, your cordial host of the usual insanity. But what's this? I have a personal website with cartoons and dumb stuff? Unthinkable! Even more unthinkable that I would sort of negligently prey upon the goodwill and trust of my editors to self-promote something completely unrelated to my contractual obligations!
I've only seen the first three Naruto movies, but this one is definitely the best out of them. The first one had its moments and some flashy and assured animation, but suffered from having too many extraneous stock characters and an incredibly forgettable villain. The third one is perhaps the worst feature film based upon an animated TV series I have ever seen, and I've seen Care Bears: The Movie 2. I'm not proud of it, but I have. Naruto movie 3 is so damn brainless, annoying, and incompetently written that I will probably die approximately 16 years earlier from having seen it.
The second one, though! This one, this one on TV this week, is pretty good. Still not great, because it's still a movie based on a long-running manga/anime property, and there hasn't been a "great" movie based on any of those since... probably Beautiful Dreamer, the second, Mamoru Oshii-directed Urusei Yatsura movie. You are all, of course, welcome to provide counter arguments in the forums, of course. But generally these things are hindered and limited by the fact that there's too many constraints; on the budget, on the amount of time, and even on the fundamental stories. You can't have Naruto undergo some deep, personal transformation or anything because that'll probably contradict something that comes later in the manga or even the anime series itself, so basically all you can do is give the animated ninja hero a new comic foil to spaz out with and an interesting villain to pummel at the end of it.
Thankfully, this movie does both! I mean there's a dull side-story about magical stones tossed in that goes nowhere, and Naruto's foil, basically a blonde-haired version of Sasuke, doesn't leave much of an impression, but the bad guy here is truly nasty and mean and interesting. And then there's some cool stuff with Gaara and his sand-ninja cronies fighting crazy bat-people and stuff. So, it's fun, it's light, it's an amusing way to spend two hours on TV, and it's the Click Pick.
Bakugan Battle Brawlers
Saturday October 11 11:00am - Episode 33 "You're Going Down Clown" (Repeats Thu Oct 16 6:30am)
Back in my day we didn't have any of these crazy, marble-and-card-game properties to entertain us. We only had sticks that were sharp enough to write on other sticks. And that was enough. But you kids, noooo, you need some Anim-y show about some kids with gloves and poofy hair playing cards with marbles in it to save their friends from being trapped in the "Doom Dimension" or somesuch. Fuh.
Saturday October 11 11:00pm - Episode 82 (Repeats Sun Oct 12 2:00am)
Saturday October 11 9:30pm - Episode 62
Ichigo fights the Bounts, in the USA, and the Soul Society has to stop Aizen and the others from escaping with the Hogyoku in Canada. If none of what I just said makes any sense: Why are you reading this? Just do yourself a favor and stop, seriously.
Saturday October 11 8:30pm - Episode 5 "Front-Line Base Assault"
In the midst of a heated battle to save the innocent from the lurid, lascivious latches of the leering, latitudinal lycanthropes in an... evil-fortress thing, Shu manages to conjure up the feared and powerful Blue Dragon. Like, the title of the show and Xbox 360 game.
Sunday October 12 5:00am - Episode 23 "To Sorrow With Love"
The Revolution will not be televised! Except it will, but at a really crappy timeslot, so it's almost like it isn't. After a bloody battle at Mt. Fuji, Lelouch decides the time is right to bring the war to its final conclusion in Tokyo. With robots.
The oddly-named Craniamon uses his innate brain-power to defeat the forces of good, because all those smarty-pants people with their "big words" and "ideas" are a danger to good ol' down-home country values! I would go on further but a politically-tinged rant in the context of a summary for a Digimon episode is just a little too bizarre, even for me.
Saturday October 11 10:00am - Episode 31 "Temple Tempest"
I'm going to take this opportunity NOT to plug my new website, though that is certainly an option, but INSTEAD to say how much I love the free flash game Dino Run. Imagine Sonic the Hedgehog, but with velociraptors and stuff, and less furry fanfiction involved. The relevance to the show Dinosaur King is tenuous at best, but it's there. It's there.
Ghost Slayers Ayashi
Wednesday October 15 10:00pm - Episode 11 "Strange Road to Nikkou" (Repeats Thu Oct 16 2:30am, 7:30pm)
And remember, when you walk along that highway of life; make sure you hire some Ghost Slayers, because the highway outside of feudal Edo is strewn with ghosts and ghouls. Hence the requirement of Ghost Slayers.
-Monday October 13 11:00pm - Episode 19 "We Shall Survive By Whatever We Do"
-Monday October 14 11:30pm - Episode 20 "Oh, God, To How Far Will You Test Us?"
With the news that the entire human race is doomed within three weeks, the populace is understandably uneasy. So, riots happen. And when riots happen, people get arrested to serve as an example for the raucous public. Too bad that example happens to be... SIMOUN! Who is the, uh, protagonist. Of this show.
Tuesday October 14 8:00pm - Episode 3 "The Tarnished Mound" (Repeats Tue Oct 14 11:00pm, Fri Oct 17 11:30pm, Sat Oct 18 2:30am)
The mysterious death of a promising high school baseball star leads into a tangled web of deceit! Or perhaps not deceit so much as depression and guilt, as the titular Hell Girl is summoned to put the heat on the presumed culprit of his tragic death - a fellow high school athlete! I mean why not.
Wednesday October 15 8:00pm - Episode 11 "Rondo of Light and Darkness" (Repeats Thu Oct 16 1:30am, 6:00pm)
Nasty rumors have spread about a vampire on campus, and are somewhat substantiated when a girl is found naked and with fang-marks on her neck late one night. The fang-marks make sense, but the nudity is puzzling. Isn't this more of a job for Law & Order: SVU than Buffy and her Vampire Slayers?
Moribito - Guardian of the Spirit
Sunday October 12 5:30am - Episode 7 "Chagum's Resolve"
Balsa has eluded her pursuers! Yay! So she settles down in a faraway village to live a simple life as an ordinary commoner. Yay. But there are still mysteries left uncovered, business left unsettled! Ugh! What's a girl with a spear to do?!? Other than stab things with it.
Saturday October 11 8:00pm - Episode 154 "The Enemy of the Byakugan"
Naruto The Movie 2: Extraneous Subtitle takes the Naruto reigns on the Cartoon Network this time, so only Canada gets a newly-minted Naruto episode proper. Er, filler-proper. Neji's byakugan eyes are perpetually confounded by his foe's nasty mist-attacks, so Naruto and Rock Lee need to step it up and help the poor lad.
Wednesday October 15 9:30pm - Episode 11 "Boundary Line" (Repeats Thu Oct 16 2:00am, 7:00pm)
Some lowly schlub dignitary from a poor country no one gives a crap about comes aboard the ISPV 7 to test out his new spacesuit! Nobody cares, except for the understanding and caring members of the Debris Section. How apropos!
Saturday October 11 9:30am - Episode 544 "Strategy With a Smile"
Dawn ascends to the finals of the Wallace Cup, which confuses me because the "Wallace Cup" sounds like a trophy you'd get for winning a Cricket match, not a Pokémon one, but whatever.
Wednesday October 15 9:00pm - Episode 11 "Rhapsody of the Beast Princess" (Repeats Thu Oct 16 6:30pm)
The search for the erstwhile Pacifica continues, until her band of would-be rescuers are kidnapped by the "Beast Princess" who turns out to be much less threatening than her name implies.
Saturday October 11 10:30am - Episode 5 "A Blast From the Past, Part 2"
Yusei is having a hard time card-battling his opponent, because his opponent keeps stealing Yusei's cards. Which, when card-battling, are kind of important to have. So Yusei has to use his most powerful TRUMP CARD! Which will surprise no one even remotely familiar with the ins and outs of Yu-Gi-Oh!.
Saturday October 11 9:00pm - Episode 97 "Maestro's Revenge on the Mamodo World"
Zatch and friends unwittingly unleash Hell on Not-Earth as they regrettably allow the fiendish villain Maestro the opportunity to wreak his nefarious revenge upon the Mamodo world. Why anybody would harbor such a grudge against a world populated by colorful, cartoony demon-people, I have no idea.
Tuesday October 14 12:00am
Ew. Don't watch this. Unless you're immensely, insanely high and bored.
Watch this! Unless you already have the DVD. Or have Netflix, or some comparable method of obtaining the DVD. Legally.
Thursday October 16 1:50am
Hey, I'm done! I'll be around next week for sure, with more stuff to cover that involves shows on TV, and lame jokes. Until then, stay cool and great!
Bakugan Battle Brawlers
-Mon Oct 13 6:30am - Episode 30 "I Am Marucho Hear Me Roar"
-Tue Oct 14 6:30am - Episode 31 "A Place Far From Home"
-Wed Oct 15 6:30am - Episode 32 "Play Nice"
-Fri Oct 17 6:30am - Episode 1 "The Battle Begins"
-Mon Oct 13 6:30am - Episode 244 "Showdown Between Geniuses: Thomas vs. Nanami!"
-Tue Oct 14 6:30am - Episode 245 "The Sacred City's Last Stand!"
-Wed Oct 15 6:30am - Episode 246 "The Final Bio-Hybrid Battle!"
-Thu Oct 16 6:30am - Episode 247 "The Norstein Family Secret"
-Fri Oct 17 6:30am - Episode 238 "Kurata's Revenge"
-Sat Oct 11 11:30pm - Episode 4 "A Forger's Love" (R Sun Oct 12 2:30am)
-Wed Oct 15 2:20am - Episode 3 "Young Boy; Ragazzo"
-Mon Oct 13 5:00am - Episode 74 "Red Tetsusaiga Breaks the Barrier"
-Mon Oct 13 5:30am - Episode 75 "Plot of the Panther Divas"
-Tue Oct 14 5:30am - Episode 76 "Target: Sesshomaru and Inuyasha"
-Wed Oct 15 5:30am - Episode 77 "Panther Tribe and the Two Swords of the Fang"
-Thu Oct 16 5:30am - Episode 78 "Only You, Sango"
-Fri Oct 17 5:30am - Episode 79 "Jaken's Plan to Steal the Tetsusaiga"
-Sat Oct 18 5:30am - Episode 80 "Sesshomaru and the Abducted Rin"
Kirby: Right Back At Ya!
-Sat Oct 11 11:00am - Episode 58 "Enemee Elementary"
-Sun Oct 12 2:00am - Episode 16 "Nervous Like Ning & Skun"
-Sun Oct 12 3:30am - Episode 4 "In Like Flint"
-Mon Oct 13 2:00am - Episode 17 "Optimized Like Ondai"
-Mon Oct 13 3:30am - Episode 5 "Cruel Like Ceres"
-Tue Oct 14 2:00am - Episode 18 "Monstrous Like Muir"
-Tue Oct 14 3:30am - Episode 6 "Playful Like Paradice"
-Wed Oct 15 2:00am - Episode 19 "The Origin of the World"
-Wed Oct 15 3:30am - Episode 7 "Treacherous Like Toros"
-Thu Oct 16 2:00am - Episode 20 "Secret Like Sul"
-Thu Oct 16 3:30am - Episode 8 "Agile Like Aikka"
-Fri Oct 17 2:00am - Episode 21 "Ominous Like O"
-Fri Oct 17 3:30am - Episode 9 "Surprising Like Super-Racer"
-Sat Oct 18 2:00am - Episode 22 "Revelations"
-Sat Oct 18 3:30am - Episode 10 "Resistant Like Rush"
-Tue Oct 14 1:00pm - Episode 440 "Curbing the Crimson Tide"
-Tue Oct 14 1:30pm - Episode 441 "What I Did For Love"
-Wed Oct 15 1:00pm - Episode 442 "Three Jynx and a Baby"
-Wed Oct 15 1:30pm - Episode 443 "Talking a Good Game"
-Thu Oct 16 1:00pm - Episode 444 "Second Time's the Charm"
-Thu Oct 16 1:30pm - Episode 445 "Pokémon Ranger: Deoxys Crisis, Part 1"
-Fri Oct 17 1:00pm - Episode 446 "Pokémon Ranger: Deoxys Crisis, Part 2"
-Fri Oct 17 1:30pm - Episode 447 "All That Glitters is Not Golden!"
-Thu Oct 16 8:30pm - Episode 15 "The Gun and the Calm"
-Tue Oct 14 4:00am - Episode 17 "The Great War"
-Wed Oct 15 4:00am - Episode 18 "Secrets of the Seven"
-Thu Oct 16 4:00am - Episode 19 "The Feathered Fiend"
-Fri Oct 17 4:00am - Episode 20 "The Two Mushrambos"
-Sat Oct 18 4:00am - Episode 21 "The Battle of One"
-Sat Oct 11 9:00am - Episode 21 "Fast Friends"
-Sat Oct 11 9:30am - Episode 22 "Little Chaos Lost"
-Sat Oct 11 10:30am - Episode 17 "The Elite Guard"
-Mon Oct 13 6:00am - Episode 24 "S.U.V. - Society of Ultimate Villainy"
-Tue Oct 14 6:00am - Episode 25 "Autoboot Camp"
-Wed Oct 15 6:00am - Episode 26 "Black Friday"
-Thu Oct 16 6:00am - Episode 27 "Sari, No One's Home"
-Fri Oct 17 6:00am - Episode 28 "A Bridge Too Close, Part 1"
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