June 21st - 27th
by Brian Hanson,
Goodness! Sorry that I was out of commission last week - it was a bit of a Family Affair, as various Hansons traveled far and wide from across the country to one desert city to meet one solitary internet columnist.
But now that they're gone and I'm back to my sad and lonely ways, it's time to fire up the kiln and insert the various clay pieces that form The Click's very existence! All of the previous imagery was figurative, mind you.
Friday June 27 10:00pm - Episode 35 "Malice" (Repeats Sat June 28 1:30am)
Death Note's run is almost up, and this week's episode sets up the climactic conclusion with a quite literal bang, as Light and Near agree to meet each other which results in all kinds of spoiler-y action. It's best to keep the suspense going, even if you already know how the story ends, right? I mean it's not like an M. Night Shyamalan movie, and you feel like you're doing everybody a favor by spoiling the ending.
A series of convoluted, Bakugan-inspired events lead our spiny-haired, garishly-clothed, colorful cast of characters into the evil lair of Masquerade, the scheming organization behind all the Bakugan thefts! They will pay for their crimes against Bakugan; they will.
Sunday June 22 12:00am - Episode 69 (Repeats Sun June 22 3:00am)
Ichigo and pals are alerted to the presence of a new string of foes, known as "Bounts" that of course have some convoluted background and presence to make it seem like they're plausible within the rigid confines of a show wherein guys with big swords fight ghosts that have giant white masks.
Saturday June 21 9:00am - Episode 13 "Infiltrate"
Shu, the leader of a rag-tag group of Japanese Role Playing Game stereotypes with assorted magical powers and such, infiltrate the enemy's hideout and discover a machine with the power of capturing the shadows of children and turning them into deadly weapons. Because those are the most deadly shadows of all, apparently. After 18 your shadow isn't good for much; you should just accept it for what it is. A shadow.
Sunday June 22 1:00am - Episode 9 "Refrain" (Repeats Sun June 22 4:00am)
Lelouch, with his fancy black helmet and snazzy Batman-like cape, reflects upon the strange circumstances that led him from being a snot-nosed chess genius to a masked revolutionary with magic powers that can force anybody to obey the whim of his EVIL EYE.
"Bio-Hybrid Battle" sounds like a generic 16-bit vertical shooter on the Turbografx. Nevermind that, a big monstrous Digimon is loose in the Real World, or "IRL" if you prefer to be massive dorks about it, and it's up to Marcus and his pals to save the day!
Kyo kara Maoh!
-Tuesday June 24 7:30pm - Episode 64 "The Return of the Snow Gunter" (Repeats Tue June 24 10:30pm, Wed June 25 3:00am, 2:00pm)
-Tuesday June 24 8:00pm - Episode 65 "The Traveler Through the Snow" (Repeats Tue June 24 11:00pm, Wed June 25 3:30am, 2:30pm)
This time on Lissome Boys And Their Demonic Kingdoms, Yuri must find a way to cure one of his loyal subjects who seems to be going a little mad. Crazy, insane, mental, nutty, Tom Cruise-y.
-Saturday June 21 9:00pm - Episode 176 "Run, Dodge, Zigzag: Chase or Be Chased"
-Saturday June 21 9:30pm - Episode 177 "Please, Mr. Postman"
-Friday June 27 8:00pm - Episode 142 "The Three Villains From the Maximum Security Prison"
More fillers! MORE FILLERS! Collect your tears into tiny, bitter vials and mail them to TV Tokyo, with "Look What You Did :-(" written in blood on a torn sheet of loose-leaf paper thrown in. But hey, guys! There's only about 40 more of these episodes to go. About 70 more if you live in Canada. And then, back to the official, Kishimoto-endorsed story! Hold tight and strong, Naruto faithful. Oh, and in these episodes Naruto causes a post-office mixup that could cause all sorts of hilarious war and strife, and in Canada Mizuki (REMEMBER HIM FROM THE FIRST EPISODE!?!? HE'S BACK!!!) escapes and Orochimaru may be involved in some way.
Saturday June 21 9:30am - Episode 527 "Tanks for the Memories"
Ash and his friends visit a Maid cafe for the "ambiance." and by "ambiance" I mean the ability to slowly, slowly undress the Maid-dressed waitresses with their eyes, stripping them bare of their clothing and dignity in the darkest corners of their mind. Of course the cafe is having its share of troubles, so they step in to help! Sadly this does not involve sex.
-Saturday June 21 11:00am - Episode 70 "Enter Marlene" (Repeats Sun June 22 8:00am)
-Saturday June 21 11:30am - Episode 71 "The Secret Route" (Repeats Sun June 22 8:30am)
Holy crap! Lawrence Kasdan is writing the Robotech movie! That's pretty nifty. Maybe it won't be a steaming pile? Maybe it won't be a critical and box-office disappointment, despite being loved by certain internet columnists like myself! If Kasdan is smart, he'll simply stick to the Macross portions of Robotech as its much more fertile ground for the feature-film treatment than the later episodes, which is what's airing on Canadian TV channel SPACE this week.
Sunday June 22 1:30am - Episode 37 "The Emperor's Love" (Repeats Sun June 22 4:30am)
Shin joins a Boy Scout troupe; homoerotic jokes ensue. Hiro is swayed from his husbandly position by attractive ladies; no overt homoerotic jokes ensue. Shin and Ai's bodyguard share a brief, torrid affair of lust and passion; homoerotic jokes ensue en masse.
Friday June 27 11:00pm - Episode 17 "The Reaper and the Nouveau Riche" (Repeats Sat June 28 2:00am)
Suitengu, weary from the chases his escapades have given him, takes a moment of solace to remember his tragic childhood and ruminate on the experiences that molded him into the strong man he is. In theory, at least.
Saturday June 21 10:30am - Episode 26 "Black Friday" (Repeats Sun June 22 11:00am, Mon June 23 6:00am)
MOVIES/FEATURESGhost in the Shell: Solid State Society
Saturday June 21 1:10pm (Repeats Sun June 22 2:15am)
Kai Doh Maru
Monday June 23 11:00pm
Blood: The Last Vampire
Tuesday June 24 12:00am
Ghost in the Shell: Solid State Society is the only feature here today that I'm not personally sick of talking about, so let's talk about it! It's, um. From the same team that made the TV series, which means its very well-animated and impenetrably dense with technological gobbledygook. Which means it's awesome. The rest, ehhhh, you all know my feelings on those already. Good movies, good times, sure, BUT FOR HOW LONG MUST I ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT STARZ NETWORKS OWNS MANGA'S VIDEO LIBRARY AND LIKES TO PLAY THESE THINGS OUT AT RANDOM?!?! Not until I know my place, apparently.
Sigh. I'll be back next week, for sure!
Bakugan Battle Brawlers
-Mon June 23 8:00am - Episode 16 "No Guts No Glory"
-Tue June 24 8:00am - Episode 17 "Best Friends Forever"
-Thu June 26 8:00am - Episode 1 "The Battle Begins"
-Fri June 27 8:00am - Episode 2 "Masquerade Ball"
-Fri June 27 7:35am - Episode TBA
-Sat June 28 2:00am - Episode 15
-Sat June 21 11:00pm - Episode 23 "Winter is the Warm Sun of Love"
-Sat June 21 11:30pm - Episode 24 "Santa Claus From the Sky"
-Sun June 22 1:30am - Episode 180 "The Dark Heart of Friendship"
-Sun June 22 6:30am - Episode 181 "Zoe's Unbelievable Adventure" (R Mon June 23 1:30am)
-Mon June 23 6:30am - Episode 125 "Jeri's Quest"
-Tue June 24 6:30am - Episode 126 "The Boar Wars"
-Wed June 25 6:30am - Episode 127 "A World Apart"
-Thu June 26 6:30am - Episode 128 "The Journey Begins"
-Fri June 27 6:30am - Episode 129 "Brave New Digital World"
-Sat June 28 6:30am - Episode 182 "Stuck in Sakkakumon With You"
-Sat June 21 10:30am - Episode 10 "Downtown Runaround"
-Tue June 24 6:00pm - Episode 24 "Edel Garden" (R Tue June 24 9:00pm, Wed June 25 1:30am, 12:30pm)
-Sat June 28 2:30am - Episode 32 "Start it Up”
-Sat June 28 1:00am - Episode 16 "That Which is Lost"
-Tue June 24 6:30pm - Episode 24 "At the Shore" (R Tue June 24 9:30pm, Wed June 25 2:00am, 1:00pm)
-Mon June 23 9:15am - Episode 11 "Shin Drops Out of School"
Gundam Seed Destiny
-Fri June 27 10:30pm - Episode 13 "Resurrected Wings"
-Sat June 21 11:00pm - Episode 15 "Return of the Tragic Priestess, Kikyo" (R Sun June 22 2:00am)
-Sat June 21 11:30pm - Episode 16 "Mystical Hand of the Amorous Monk, Miroku" (R Sun June 22 2:30am)
-Sun June 22 5:00am - Episode 104 "The Stealthy Poison Master, Mukotsu"
-Sun June 22 5:30am - Episode 105 "The Ghastly Steel Machine"
-Mon June 23 5:00am - Episode 106 "Kagome, Miroku, and Sango: Desperate Situation!"
-Mon June 23 5:30am - Episode 107 "Inuyasha Shows His Tears For the First Time"
-Tue June 24 5:30am - Episode 108 "Secret of the Pure Light"
-Wed June 25 5:30am - Episode 109 "Hidden in the Mist: Onward to Mt. Hakurei"
-Thu June 26 5:30am - Episode 110 "Enter Bankotsu, the Leader of the Band of Seven"
-Fri June 27 5:30am - Episode 111 "Big Clash: Banryu Versus the Wind Scar"
-Sat June 28 5:30am - Episode 112 "Afloat on the Lake Surface: Barrier of Hijiri Island"
Kirby: Right Back At Ya!
-Sat June 21 11:00am - Episode 1 "Kirby Comes to Cappy Town"
Law of Ueki
-Tue June 24 7:00pm - Episode 24 "The Law of Young Robert" (R Tue June 24 10:00pm, Wed June 25 2:30am, 1:30pm)
-Mon June 23 10:30pm - Episode 138 "Pure Betrayal and a Fleeting Plea"
-Tue June 24 10:30pm - Episode 139 "Pure Terror: The House of Orochimaru"
-Wed June 25 10:30pm - Episode 140 "Two Heartbeats: Kabuto's Trap"
-Sun June 22 2:30am - Episode 21 "Ominous Like O"
-Mon June 23 2:30am - Episode 22 "Revelations"
-Mon June 23 7:00am - Episode 142 "Wired for Battle!"
-Mon June 23 7:30am - Episode 143 "Good 'Quil Hunting"
-Tue June 24 7:00am - Episode 144 "Shadow of a Drought"
-Tue June 24 7:30am - Episode 145 "Going Apricorn!"
-Wed June 25 7:00am - Episode 146 "Gettin' the Bugs Out"
-Wed June 25 7:30am - Episode 147 "Farfetch'd Tale"
-Thu June 26 7:00am - Episode 148 "Tricks of the Trade"
-Thu June 26 7:30am - Episode 149 "The Fire-ring Squad"
-Fri June 27 7:00am - Episode 150 "No Big Woop!"
-Fri June 27 7:30am - Episode 151 "Tunnel Vision"
-Tue June 24 4:00am - Episode 1 "The Awakening"
-Wed June 25 4:00am - Episode 2 "Bee-Ware the Hunters"
-Thu June 26 4:00am - Episode 3 "Web of Evil"
-Fri June 27 4:00am - Episode 4 "Day at the Park"
-Sat June 28 4:00am - Episode 5 "Kiri"
-Sat June 21 10:00am - Episode 1 "Chaos Control Freaks"
-Mon June 23 8:30pm - Episode 16 "Audit the Wicked" (R Tue June 24 4:30am)
-Mon June 23 6:30am - Episode 12 "Survival of the Fittest"
-Tue June 24 6:00am - Episode 13 "Headmaster"
-Tue June 24 6:30am - Episode 14 "Nature Calls"
-Wed June 25 6:00am - Episode 15 "Megatron Rising, Part 1"
-Wed June 25 6:30am - Episode 16 "Megatron Rising, Part 2"
-Thu June 26 6:00am - Episode 17 "The Elite Guard"
-Thu June 26 6:30am - Episode 18 "The Return of the Headmaster"
-Fri June 27 6:00am - Episode 19 "Mission Accomplished"
-Fri June 27 6:30am - Episode 20 "Garbage In, Garbage Out"
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