Gia's List: 6 Anime Doctors You Don't Want Handling Your Surgery

by Gia Manry,

You know how just about every city has one of those lists of the best doctors in town? Consider this the list of the doctors you don't want to visit in the anime world. No matter how much nerd cred you think it would win you, it's not worth going to these docs for your annual physical...much less a major surgery.

6. Black Jack (Black Jack)
This may not be the first character you expect to see on this list. After all, Black Jack is probably the most skilled surgeon in the world, at least if you don't include non-humans and genetically or technologically enhanced ones. The only problem is that Black Jack is a doctor with a sense of humor...and karma. So sure, he might save your life, but he might wind up giving you the face of your biggest rival, or sewing something strange up inside you, or anything else the quixotic, unlicensed physician might see fit to afflict you with. On top of that, if it turns out that you have money or anything less than a moving tale of woe, he'll charge you more than you'll make in your lifetime for the service. So if you're not an orphan whose hobby is saving sick dolphins or something, you'll want a more mainstream doctor.

5 Trafalgar Law (One Piece)
Actually, Trafalgar might not be a terrible doctor long as you're on his side of a fight. He actually has the ability to create a sphere of influence where he can perform a tidy surgery on the fly, even in the midst of a battlefield. Pretty cool, huh? And that's on top of having extensive medical knowledge, including experience working on any number of people who have eaten the Devil Fruit and gained impressive (or weird) superhuman abilities. Unfortunately, if you're not on his side, you could find that sphere wreaking serious havoc in a fight. The good news is that it requires a great deal of concentration maintain his sphere, so if you've got a pal around, you might be able to prevent Trafalgar from killing you. Of course, that's also bad news if he's performing surgery on you...

4. Dr. Shingen Kishitani (Durarara!!)
Don't get your Kishitanis mixed up: Shinra Kishitani is the chipper black market doctor who's in love with a girl who's missing a head. Shingen Kishitani is his be-gas masked father, and he's creepy enough that it might as well be the only reason you don't want him to be your doctor: not only does the gas mask prevent you from seeing his face, it has horns. Unfortunately, he's the sort of doctor who is more interested in figuring things out than in a patient's health or safety. For example, the aforementioned headless woman (Celty) is a Dullahan, a supernatural figure from Ireland. In exchange for a place to stay in Japan, Dr. Kishitani the senior performed numerous dissections on a conscious Celty...and made his young son participate in the surgeries as well. Patient beware!

3. Dr. Jackal (Get Backers)
Dr. Jackal, née Kuroudo Akabane, used to be a military doctor. Unfortunately the action he saw in war seems to have twisted his mind, because he changed careers into being a smuggler/delivery man, more interested in amusement than making money (though he does that too). His interests lie less in helping save peoples' lives and more in cutting people with the 108 scalpels he always has on his person. Sure, you want a doctor who's always prepared, but maybe not...that prepared. He's also a big fan of blood, since all of his weapons and supernatural abilities make use of the substance. So the problem is: if he's interested enough in you to actually work on you, he's probably a bit too interested, and you may or may not actually live through the experience. So move along to another physician, for your own good.

2. Dr. Kazutaka Muraki (Descendants of Darkness)
When he's putting on a front, Dr. Muraki is the kindest, gentlest doctor you could imagine. He's smart, knows his stuff, and has a great bedside manner. If you can hire that Muraki, you might consider it. On the other hand, if he's putting on this front, it's probably because he's up to something, and his extracurricular activities are probably not what you want your doctor to be up to. Among other things, Muraki kills people so that he can manipulate their souls, and it's also hinted that he's tormented some of his patients (including clairvoyant main character Hisoka Kurosaki) in other ways. Over time he becomes obsessed with the show's other main character, Asato Tsuzuki, because of his body's unique healing properties...and maybe just because he's so darn pretty.

1. Shou Tucker (Fullmetal Alchemist)
SPOILER ALERT! Shou Tucker is a State Alchemist who works for the Amestrian military. He has a serious obsession with combining animals into a chimera and with giving it the power to speak like a human, and the military gives him funding to keep up the research. At first glance he seems like a kind, gentle person, and that's probably true as far as it goes...but when he finds himself in a corner (such as when he has to provide a status report to the military demonstrating his progress), he's been known to take shortcuts by combining humans with animals and presenting them as his chimera. They never live long after that. We won't spoil who his victims are, but suffice it to say, you don't want a guy who would to that to get anywhere near you with a scalpel...or an alchemy circle, either.

The new poll: The next volume of the Sailor Moon manga is due next week, so we thought we'd try an easy one: which is your favorite Sailor Senshi/Scout? Click here to vote and check back next time for the results!

The previous poll: Last week we asked about your favorite Persocoms from Chobits, and to no one's surprise, protagonist Chi won the day with nearly 43 of the vote, followed by the adorable "PDA" Sumomomo taking 30. The rest was split up, in order, by Kotoko, Freya, Yuzuki, Zima, and Dita. Here are the full results:

  1. Chi - 42.73
  2. Sumomo - 30.00
  3. Kotoko - 9.27
  4. Freya - 7.82
  5. Yuzuki - 4.18
  6. Zima - 3.82
  7. Dita - 2.18

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