This Monster Wants to Eat Me

Episodes 5-6

If there's one main takeaway from these two episodes, it's that Miko has a lot going on beneath her deceptively ditzy exterior. Moreover, through this set of revelations and developments, Miko asserts herself as a counterbalance to Shiori's personality, and in doing so, she enriches the heart of This Monster Wants to Eat Me. It's a promising direction for the series.

I like all of the layers of Miko's relationship with Hinako. In fact, I literally see them as layers. The surface level, i.e., the broadest and most distant, stems from Miko's position as a local deity. Although originally shackled to this role, it has come to define her as a person and as a yokai. Miko is preternaturally helpful, to the extent that she overextends herself as a high school student when she could just as easily use her yokai powers to go unnoticed. She enjoys (and depends on) the gratefulness of humans, and Hinako's especially pious family captured her attention early on.

One layer deeper, Miko is still a deity, but one who is wracked with guilt for failing to protect Hinako's family despite their prayers. This causes her to focus her efforts as a guardian on Hinako in particular, and it spurs her to adopt her human form in the first place. Miko wants to atone. Of course, this also brings to mind the many stories of mythical figures who would disguise themselves as human in order to pursue relationships with humans. It's a storytelling convention that spans civilizations, and kitsune in particular are notorious for taking on human lovers (see the legend of Tamamo-no-Mae for an example). Thus, we can also interpret Miko's specific fixation on Hinako as a consequence of affection, not merely guilt.

However, Miko isn't an ethereal being. She is a beast by nature, so an even deeper layer of affection resides in her primal hunger for Hinako's flesh. She also suppresses this part of her to the best of her ability, and we can interpret her violence towards other yokai as a projection of her internal turmoil. Furthermore, we must interpret this hunger as a lust that Miko clearly feels conflicted about. After all, Miko has known Hinako since her childhood, and in her mind, she is supposed to be atoning for the limits of her power. She is not supposed to be desiring her carnally. For me, this is the layer where Miko becomes interesting. She's a creature at odds with herself.

Because ultimately, in the inner chambers of her heart, Miko loves Hinako as one person to another, regardless of where their relationship started or of the complicating factors of age and species. She proves this by biting two of her tails off—a gesture that simultaneously rejects both her divine and bestial aspects. She neuters her powers as a profession of love. While I don't think this scene is as beautifully executed as its analog in The Summer Hikaru Died, it achieves a similar symbolic effect. It speaks to the fundamental difficulty of existing as a queer person in society, let alone trying to sustain a relationship as one. Both Miko and Hikaru believe they are monsters who have to declaw themselves before anyone can safely love them.

These layers add up to make Miko quite the compelling third wheel to Shiori and Hinako's ongoing courtship. They also allow Fairouz Ai plenty of opportunities to flex her range as an actor, flitting expertly between bubbliness, wistfulness, anger, and pride. The result is an arc that isn't as patient and severe as the first, which, in the adaptation's case, is an improvement. As the story adopts a more neutral tone, it becomes better suited to the relative flatness of the anime's presentation. The exception is Keiji Inai's soundtrack, which continues to bat well above average. The surprise vocal accompaniment to the climax of the fifth episode was a welcome surprise that amplified the emotional wavelength between Miko and Hinako. In fact, I'd say Inai's contributions are significant enough to bump my assessment of the adaptation from “just fine” to “pretty good.”

Miko doesn't hog all of the promising developments in these two episodes either. I'm very happy to finally see a side of Shiori that she doesn't want to show to Hinako. It's brief, but when she muses about monsters feeling loneliness, she drops her smile and reveals a hint of the sadness drawing her towards Hinako's companionship. Granted, I may be projecting a lot onto a scene that lasts a few seconds, but I don't think Shiori's obsession with Hinako is purely gastronomic. Even putting the sexual metaphors aside, Shiori clearly enjoys spending time with her, and their beach date is a perfect example. While she may have an ulterior motive in healing Hinako's heart, there's another kind of affection that goes into the perceptiveness and patience with which she handles Hinako's lingering trauma. “If the brightness is too much for your eyes,” Shiori says, “you can spend time in the shade until they adjust.” That's a very nice little metaphor for approaching one's psychological wounds.

Hinako, however, is still quite the mess—and I love her for it. When her reaction to Miko's new truce with Shiori was, “I'm so glad they can still be friends after I'm dead :),” I almost screamed. She looks at everything, even the brilliance of her best friend's smile, through the lens of her own self-hatred. It's a frustratingly absurd outlook that is, sadly, accurate to how these thought patterns play out in people. Even in death, Hinako can only think of herself as a burden. We see, too, that she is literally scarred to match her mental wounds, which certainly also feeds into her negative self-image. I like that, while it's never stated outright, it's obvious why Hinako wouldn't want to put on a swimsuit. If This Monster can maintain these moments of subtlety alongside meaningful character developments, then I think it can grow into a truly standout romance.

Episode 5 Rating:

Episode 6 Rating:

This Monster Wants to Eat Me is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.

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