Forum - View topicANNCast - No Matter How I Look At It, It's Just A Podcast
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CrowLia
 Posts: 5505 Location: Mexico |
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I know I'm kind of late to the party but I just had time to sit down and listen to the podcast. Even though I didn't watch WataMote, I really liked hearing all your opinions about it since I was giving second thought on picking it up (after originally dropping it 'cause I felt it hit too close to home).
I think it was Paul or Gerald who talked about Tomoko's relationship with his brother and how it has this kind of unpleasant side in which the socially crippled sibling envies the (younger) socially succesful one. I watched only one episode (the one with the greasy hair thing) and it didn't showcase this kind of thing, but if the rest of the show does, I'd give it kudos for going for a very realistic uptake on it. Talking from experience, I had a terrible relationship with my youngest sister for many years and I think that sort of envy played a major part in it. And of course, the sort of nasty picking at each other that other people frown upong but is mostly lacking of ill-intentions and stuff. I think it's interesting that the show portrays this kind of more earthly sibling relationship, although then again, it just adds to my not wanting to watch it because it's too similar to depressing parts of my life that I don't want to be reminded of. But the real reason I'm replying to this thread is because, depending on the variety, re-heated Mexican food can be pretty neat or terribly awful. Like you can reheat the meat in your tacos and that makes a kickass breakfast if you get fresh tortillas. Microwaving tortillas should be punishable by the law. They literally transform into cardboard. Yes, I know this is completely irrelevant to the general topic but I kind of found it funny that 10-ish minutes of the program were used in discussing the viability of reheating enchiladas for breakfast. Also, because people really should never microwave tortillas. I know it can't be done all the time, but I really enjoyed this brand of podcast revolving around a single series and it would be great if there could be more like this |
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gsilver
Posts: 618 |
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So, I finished listening to the podcast.
Maybe this is too personal, but whatever. I'm tired and don't give a **** right now. I've had some pretty massive social issues, and, at least what I've seen of the show (I think I've seen up to episode 4), things followed a rather different path than mine. Whereas Tomoko's loathing is primarily directed outward, mine was always inward... and when one realizes that one is treated considerably worse than those around him (I still remember in college: An otherwise full room would very often form a plus-shape of empty desks around mine... whether real or imagined, it got to me after a while) and the crux of my social withdrawal became fear of how I would damage those around me, and shutting down any and everything that I could think of that could possibly impact others negatively, to the point of simply being terrified of myself and life... And when the world all reacts to you, specifically, with hostility, it's a much easier conclusion to reach that you are the one who is terrible, rather than everyone around you. The whole "talk to people" about it backfires, a lot. I was always terrified that if I did or said anything wrong, people would hate me for it, and sure enough, if I slipped up and did anything to offend people, I'd be left alone, time and time again... And yeah, I can relate to both the bullying and "invisible" sides... By my second year of high school, the bully who had a grudge against me left... and I was simply ignored. ...Of course, a diagnosis of aspergers, clinical depression, and PTSD did a lot to explain things... I just wish that I could have found an anti-depressant that didn't nearly kill me about a decade earlier. Paxil made me start to lose my mind, Ativan wrecked my mental faculties while I was on it, a single pill of Zoloft left me bedridden for days, Provigil made my head feel like it was in a vise (I've got narcolepsy-like symptoms, too. Oh joy!), Buspar made me feel like my brain was getting hit with electric shocks... And despite all that, I seem to be tolerating Prozac fairly well (I've been on it for about 4 months now, while I've been depressed for over two decades). I still think about killing myself frequently, but at least it isn't for multiple times a day now. There, it mostly comes down to seeing the amount of suffering that my mom has been through and feeling that it isn't my right to inflict more, no matter how much I hate myself and want to die. ...Hey, that's a silver lining, right? ...I'm going to bed now. I'll probably regret writing this in the morning and scramble to delete it... but whatever. |
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Agent355
 Posts: 5113 Location: Crackberry in hand, thumbs at the ready... |
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I hear you, gsilver. Many people who have trouble communicating with others suffer from self-loathing. Some might take issue with others as well, but self-loathing comes first and foremost.
That advice to just talk to others--yeah, not unless you found someone especially empathetic or trained to help you. Most regular people just don't know how to respond in person. But I've found message boards and internet communities very helpful, especially when I was first reaching out. So don't feel bad about anything you wrote about here. Sometimes just writing about all the crap helps! Good luck in your recovery. I hope you'll be able to foster more healthy relationships both online and in real life. There are a lot of people out there who have been there and get it. The mental health system in the United States is far from great, but I'm thankful that at least there is less of a stigma for seeking out help than in some other countries. This is the country that developed AA. Support groups and recovery programs can and do save lives. From what I've read about Hikkikomori in Japan, therapy is seen as a last ditch effort and people can suffer for decades. The podcast discussed how kids can grow out of severe social anxiety, but how many kids grow out of it, and how many become Hikkikomori? Without anyone to turn to, things don't look very good for Tomoko. |
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