Forum - View topicHow to leave the anime closet.
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poilk92
 Posts: 433 Location: Long Beach California |
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So i recently came out of the closet, the anime closet.
For the first 3 weeks of my relationship i was uncomfortable talking to my new girlfriend about my anime fandom BUT i was conflicted becuase there were so many animes i wanted to show her. My response was to pretend like one of my friends was pressuring me into watching an anime (FLCL to be specific) and that i wanted my anime virgin girlfriend to watch it with me. While this plan worked and of course she loved it i was forced to live a lie and whenever i wanted to show her anything i had to pretend like i was watching it for the first time. Of course when the time finally came for me to tell her i was in fact an anime fan i went through a unnecessarily embarrassing and confusing experience. Anyway i want to use this thread to 1. let everyone know its a big mistake to hide your passion for anime (but don't over do it with potential converts) 2. Ask if anyone has some advice for those poor souls who have put themselves into an awkward position and wants to tell their loved ones they are in fact anime fans And 3. If anyone has any advice on how to get someone who has never seen an anime to try it because I am having troubles with that one |
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Rukiia
 Posts: 1897 |
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I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude but....are you serious? This is reminding me of the way someone would be confessing to "coming out of the closet".
What is there to be embarressed about being an anime fan? Better yet, what is there to hide? Its no different then being a fan of cartoons in general. Or TV shows no less. Some small percentage of people might think you are weird for "liking cartoons" but, who cares? What do they know? You like what you like and that is your choice. Besides, anime is pretty well known in this generation so I am pretty sure people could care less if you are a fan. Gotta admit that I never heard of closet anime fans. Could be wrong but..... Anyway. My advice, just be like "Hey, there is this cool show I want to show you! Its an anime/Japanese cartoon that is pretty good so why don't we watch it together? Or I can lend it to you to watch.". And voila, go from there. |
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gundam83
 Posts: 93 Location: Caribbean |
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It reminds me 10 years ago I was the only one in my family who liked rock music, boy was I made fun of! But guess what I never stopped listening to my favourite music and now some of my family members listen to rock music too!
 My advice is never hide who you are your gonna be miserable be true to yourself! I love anime and I didn't hide that from my wife it's who I am and it's something I enjoy! Now my wife isn't a major fan like me but if she likes the storfyline and characters she watches anime along with me 
A suggestion-just pop in an anime dvd or whatever and invite a friend over by you and see how it works! |
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DuelLadyS
 Posts: 1705 Location: WA state |
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How to tell someone you're an anime fan: 'Oh, that thing reminds me of this show. You've never heard of it? It's an anime- yeah, I watch anime. Anyway, the show's about...' It's not something that requires an intervention or a 'honey, sit down- we need to talk'. It's just entertainment. You wouldn't make it a big event to tell a loved one you like movies, would you?
How to get someone to watch anime: 'I just saw this cool show. It's about this. It's also a cartoon. You'd like it.'. It's not that hard. If the very fact that it's 'anime' shuts them down, find out why they have such an issue with it- then offer up shows that clash with their expectations. Keep in mind some people just aren't going to care- either they're entirely too close-minded to even consider it, or they don't like animation in general... I have a co-worker in that boat. I honestly don't see why people freak out over this stuff... your choice of TV is not a life-defining thing. You've no need to 'come clean' to people. You don't need to 'convert' people, or make them 'accept your choice'. It's just anime, OK? Life will bring you something important to freak out over soon enough. |
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quikbeam1
 Posts: 150 Location: Behind you |
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I cant say i have ever been in a situation like that. I guess i have never really been in the Anime "closet". The top half of my dvd rack is filled with boxsets and the second half is filled with normal movies, so people know fairly quickly i watch Anime. The only advice I have would be see what genre of shows she tends to like, and pick a good show with a similar genre.
I would stay away from shows like Lucky Star, since they tend to have a lot of jokes based on previous shows. Personally, I have found a lot of my friends have really enjoyed Stellvia as a starter show. However, the show is rather slow to start up. |
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chefneer
 Posts: 1686 Location: Fort Worth, Texas |
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I've never tried to hide my love of anime. My DVD's are on shelves in the livingroom, where I watch them, and a large percentage of them are anime, so anyone who enters the place knows right away I'm a fan. I have gotten a few curious looks, but that's their problem. Most of the time no one gives it a second thought, or if they do they don't let it show.
Maybe it's because I was introduced to anime by a co-worker before I became aware that some people have less than approving opinions of it. We used to talk about it a lot, at work, so there never was an 'in the closet' scenario for me. |
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Kruszer
 Posts: 8017 Location: Minnesota, USA |
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Well, I've always been of the opinion that "I like what I like because I like it and **** 'em if they don't because they're missing out" personally. I don't really understand the "In the closet" philosophy.
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poilk92
Posts: 433 Location: Long Beach California |
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haha well i like the input but after the first comment i would like to clear something up. My story is from a few years ago when i was a little less mature and a lot less self confidant. And i think no one should be ashamed of loving anime but it is seriously frowned upon/ made fun of in certain crowds. And it is not uncommon for people to hide it. So i was hoping this thread could help our fan brethren who for whatever reason have hidden their passion for anime be proud of who they are and what they love dammit!
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Unicorn_Blade
 Posts: 1155 Location: UK |
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When my friend fisrt started watching anime, she put a Vampire Hunter D illustration as a computer desktop background. Her parents actually came over to her and asked whether she became a member of a sect, and why is she so unhappy, and what have they done wrong in bringing her up that she turned out a lost, depressed child (the only proof of which was the computer desktop). In a way the same thing happened to me and I needed to explain my parents I am not depressed at all and that I am not gonna become a member of a sect or go and burn black cats in the church at midnight. For them it was all a foreign and scary concept since they did not really know what anime was and had a really bad image of it.
So well, I understand that for some people it might be hard to bring this subject up... |
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Rukiia
Posts: 1897 |
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Honestly? There are many things in the world that are "frowned upon" in society. Most Video games containing violence are frowned upon because they would "corrupt people into wanting to hurt or kill others". Heck, there was even that whole controversy with Disney's The Lion King over the part where some wind blowing dust off a cliff spelled out "Sex" when they only wanted to put "SXF" as a harmless signature. Yet people (parents mostly) got into such an uproar that they had to edit the scene for the DVD release. Anime shouldn't be any different as they are just cartoons from Japan. You can't please everyone in the world and even people frown upon others over silly little things like, for example, prefering to have cats instead of dogs as pets. It is really stupid to get uptight over something harmless but, again, you can't make everyone in the world happy as everyone has different opinions about everything. Granted, some anime titles do contain questionable material but not all. If you don't feel comfortable showing a fanservicey/extremely violent anime to your girlfriend/boyfriend/relatives/etc then you can always pick something more appropriate to watch with them. That is what makes anime so awesome as there are so many titles to choose from. But, really, you could be made fun of for liking virtually anything. I was made fun of in elementry school for liking Power Rangers and it was a stupidly popular kids show in my day. People can be cruel. Sad but true fact of life. But did that stop me from liking Power Rangers, let alone from admitting that I liked it? Not at all. I grew out of it as I got older but not because of what others have said about the show. I'm sorry but, in my opinion, it is absolutely ridiculous to be worrying about what people would think of you for liking anime/cartoons. If you were into something like child porn then, yes, you should be worried about what people would think as a mass majority of the world will think there is something wrong with you (plus it is against the law for looking at that filth). It is one thing to like some obscure sexual fetish and worry about someone disliking you after finding out that you like it, but a Japanese cartoon? Highly unlikely. I think people would have better/more important things to worry about. In closing, my advice to the "closet anime fans" would be: Who cares what other people think. If they got a problem, screw them. It is your life and your choice to have an interest in anime. Don't let others tell you, or bully you, otherwise. Period. Edit: I should add that I am the type of person who doesn't care about what others think of me. If they are going to judge me for liking Japanimation then whatever. I don't need closed minded people in my life. I'm happy to have anime in my life and being happy is what matters to me. Someone doesn't like that about me? Tough. Not going to change my interests for the sake of "fitting in" with other people. Last edited by Rukiia on Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:34 am; edited 3 times in total |
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poilk92
Posts: 433 Location: Long Beach California |
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WOW so totally and utterly missing the point lol |
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Rukiia
Posts: 1897 |
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What point am I missing, exactly? You asked for people's advice, I gave you mine. Wasn't this the whole point of making this thread?
The only way I would see someone being embarressed about letting others know they like anime is because of the inappropriate scenes some titles would have (Highschool of the Dead being a prime example). And, therefore, what I said above would be one of the ways to show/tell a loved one that you like anime without making them think you are weird. Baby steps with people who don't know a thing about anime can do wonders. |
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poilk92
Posts: 433 Location: Long Beach California |
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siiigh i cant believe i am actually getting into this. I don't think anyone on this forum thinks there is a problem with anime but there is no debating that anime fans are made fun of sometimes. As a football player in high school i was teased about it by some of, ok all of my teammates. There was an anime club at my school that had a lot of cool people with great tastes, but at that point in my life it wasn't as easy as saying "who cares what other people think". I am hoping for some people who went through that stage in their life, as i have, will have some advice for others. Your hostility is not necessary. For people who are embarrassed by their fandom it happens to be more helpful to show that there are other well rounded reasonable anime fans and the stereotype is anything but true.
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Rukiia
Posts: 1897 |
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You seemed to be not reading my posts or skipping over certain things I said.....So let me make it clear to you.
I never said people don't get made fun of for liking anime. Did you not read my sentence in regards to liking Power Rangers? Not related to anime but it was a prime example. I will give you a better example then. I got made fun of in high school for liking, what they called it, "Chinese cartoons" but I didn't let that stop me from liking anime. I was just saying who cares what other people think. If people picked on you for liking something I'm sorry to say but People Can Be Jerks. I personally didn't let it bother me but if it bothered you then you are probably more sensitive then I am about what others think of you. And there is nothing wrong with that. I just think its a waste of energy to worry about what others think of you over liking cartoons.
Would you care to point out where in my posts are of me being "hostile"? I am failing to see any. I gave you my advice and opinions. You don't have to agree with them but you did ask for advice from everyone. You can take it or leave it. Makes no difference to me. All in all, I am not here to start an arguement. I wrote down my thoughts on this and if you disagree then that is your choice. Last edited by Rukiia on Tue Sep 14, 2010 5:14 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Keonyn
 Subscriber Posts: 5567 Location: Coon Rapids, MN |
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Just remember, when posting a conversation it should be expected that the opinions of others may well class with your own. With that said, let's just try to be respectful and keep this from turning in to a battle when it really should be nothing more than a simple discussion. Just remember, disagreeing and debating is never a problem so long as it is done respectfully.
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