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INTEREST: Is Love Really Difficult for Otaku? Male Nerds Weigh In on Experiences


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Arale Kurashiki



Joined: 24 Aug 2015
Posts: 650
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 5:58 pm Reply with quote
wow i wonder why men whose waifus are children 10 years younger than them might have a hard time connecting with real people

based on their own comments, the message here seems to be that their problems do not arise externally (how society views nerds) but rather internally (how they themselves view others)
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Engineering Nerd



Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Posts: 852
Location: Southern California
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 6:06 pm Reply with quote
Arale Kurashiki wrote:
wow i wonder why men whose waifus are children 10 years younger than them might have a hard time connecting with real people

based on their own comments, the message here seems to be that their problems do not arise externally (how society views nerds) but rather internally (how they themselves view others)
.

Although before making any judgments, it is important to evaluate how much statistically representative are those survey men to the whole picture, and can their mindset really be reflective of how majority think. If we can’t, then it would be too stereotypical to believe that male otaku in the whole cannot separate 2d fantasy to reality.


Last edited by Engineering Nerd on Tue May 08, 2018 6:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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capt_bunny



Joined: 31 May 2015
Posts: 317
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 6:28 pm Reply with quote
Arale Kurashiki wrote:
wow i wonder why men whose waifus are children 10 years younger than them might have a hard time connecting with real people

based on their own comments, the message here seems to be that their problems do not arise externally (how society views nerds) but rather internally (how they themselves view others)


What is wrong with that????? I know a lot of women that are into shotas and I have one female friend that likes lolis. They are attracted to 2D characters but never an actual child. We all have kinks or things we like that anyone would look down on us. I don't think its right to judge when they haven't done anything but simply look at a cute loli/shota and not actually touching a child. If they aren't hurting anyone or themselves then it's okay.

Plus, it's really hard when one isn't used to the opposite sex. I feel like they are just seeing them as a female rather as a whole person. Not saying all but most I've met and seen. Most geek men always say how hard it is to meet another geek female when it's hard to talk about it when people expect females not to be into it. I kid you not, I was told that it was a surprise that I like action anime/manga and expected me to only like shoujo or ~pure~ romance. And a lot of females have had times where they wanted to join anything with anime/manga/comics/video games/etc. Because most of the time, people thought they were fake and so many times where they assumed the female was cheating in video games. Saying that no girl could ever be that good. I even hear "it's okay for men to like anime/manga because they are guys. They don't act maturely to begin with!!1!1" When anyone can be mature or immature or even like anything. Ugh.... Sorry.
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Arale Kurashiki



Joined: 24 Aug 2015
Posts: 650
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 6:41 pm Reply with quote
Engineering Nerd wrote:
Arale Kurashiki wrote:
wow i wonder why men whose waifus are children 10 years younger than them might have a hard time connecting with real people

based on their own comments, the message here seems to be that their problems do not arise externally (how society views nerds) but rather internally (how they themselves view others)
.

Although before making any judgments, it is important to evaluate how much statistically representative are those survey men to the whole picture, and can their mindset really be reflective of how majority think. If we can’t, then it would be too sterotycial to believe that male otaku in the whole cannot separate 2d fantasy to reality.

It depends on what you are calling 'otaku'. If it's "anyone who's into pop culture", yeah, the statistical majority would absolutely be a lot healthier. But they might not call themselves 'otaku'.

So yeah, I don't think that it's the norm, but it's also a rather sizable subculture that is marketed towards rather frequently. A statistical minority, but perhaps an economic majority for the industry; see those stories about fans who buy several stacks of copies of the same idol CD for particularly extreme examples.
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Yune Amagiri



Joined: 28 Jul 2016
Posts: 542
Location: France
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 7:25 pm Reply with quote
Before all keep in mind that whatever one might like in 2D does not always mean that this person likes the same thing in real life, we keep repeating it 2D isn't real life and even people in our otaku community understand it ( Even hardcore one ! ), so don't assume otherwise.

For the question does your hobbies interfere with your couple, that obviously case-by-case some might accept them, other not, whatever it's otaku hobbies or not too much involvement into them will often lead to break, both persons have to make concessions and find common ground .

Based on my own experience and what i can see from my friends one, Narumi and Hirotaka couple is tipical from otaku couple in real life, often seems more like friends than couple and rather laid back in their relationship, while the Hanako / Taro couple is more like my non-otaku friends
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Ashley Hakker



Joined: 31 Aug 2016
Posts: 115
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 8:36 pm Reply with quote
It's not that Hirotaka is bad husbando material, he's pretty great even, it's that Hanako is even BETTER husbando material. >Very Happy
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Chester McCool



Joined: 06 Jan 2016
Posts: 322
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 9:18 pm Reply with quote
Honestly I found more success and happier relationships dating normal girls. Nerd girls come with a lot of baggage, probably due to social and self-esteem issues. I found more success in getting girls into my hobby than finding ones already into it, but YMMV.
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Ashen Phoenix



Joined: 21 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 9:21 pm Reply with quote
Some of the male survey participants' answers were, in a word, gross. And comparing them to the answers that skewed toward "finding love is not difficult" I'm relieved that the former don't speak for all otaku.
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wastrel





PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 9:50 pm Reply with quote
If 67% of the survey respondents were female, why were only male comments included in the article?
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SilverTalon01



Joined: 02 Apr 2012
Posts: 2233
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 10:23 pm Reply with quote
Quote:
Survey participants were predominantly female (67%). However, the male participants shared some similar opinions, including references to the difference between 2D and 3D women as a major hurdle.


Ok, and examples? The writer included multiple quotes from only the men after stating this. What were some of the comments from the 67% of the participants who were women? Their opinions are similar to the men, but how so? This seems like an incomplete piece that was published prematurely.
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Mojave



Joined: 07 May 2017
Posts: 178
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 10:38 pm Reply with quote
For those wondering where the female feedback is, look at the bottom of the article. It says that the source article is releasing the male and female feedback separately, and that the one with the female feedback hasn't been released yet, but ANN will post it when they do.
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mixedfish



Joined: 10 Oct 2014
Posts: 24
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 10:44 pm Reply with quote
Chester McCool wrote:
Honestly I found more success and happier relationships dating normal girls. Nerd girls come with a lot of baggage, probably due to social and self-esteem issues. I found more success in getting girls into my hobby than finding ones already into it, but YMMV.


Yes, 100% this.

Partners who share your hobbies religiously like an 'Otaku' would be a terrible partner. That would be an express path to a catastrophic breakup when you can't agree on dumb things.
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TheAnimeRevolutionizer



Joined: 03 Nov 2017
Posts: 317
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 11:10 pm Reply with quote
Arale Kurashiki wrote:
wow i wonder why men whose waifus are children 10 years younger than them might have a hard time connecting with real people

based on their own comments, the message here seems to be that their problems do not arise externally (how society views nerds) but rather internally (how they themselves view others)

It depends on what you are calling 'otaku'. If it's "anyone who's into pop culture", yeah, the statistical majority would absolutely be a lot healthier. But they might not call themselves 'otaku'.

So yeah, I don't think that it's the norm, but it's also a rather sizable subculture that is marketed towards rather frequently. A statistical minority, but perhaps an economic majority for the industry; see those stories about fans who buy several stacks of copies of the same idol CD for particularly extreme examples.


Wow Arale, you're a real catch 22 there. I don't even think you probably even have a definition for a "normal anime fan", and even then, I'd hate to know.
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Yazu13



Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Posts: 129
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2018 12:18 am Reply with quote
Nerd culture has always been on the fringe, especially with those in America who are into a foreign nerd culture. It's just the way your average society is, people love conformity and reject that which they don't understand, not that most people make any effort to understand it to begin with. In this sense, romance can be challenging for someone who is not shy about their love for anime.

Other things like video games and superheroes are becoming pretty mainstream, so there's hope there, but America is incredibly isolationist when it comes to understanding other country's cultures and quirks despite America's "melting pot" reputation. The best thing you can do is enjoy your nerd culture but don't be too overt about it. It's fine if you watch anime in private and talk about it with friends, just don't have Naruto keychains or read Spice and Wolf in the park. Also, don't let yourself become a stereotype. Stay in good physical shape, have other interests, and be friendly, it goes a long way.
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RogerSmith2004



Joined: 05 Jul 2015
Posts: 22
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2018 12:53 am Reply with quote
Yazu13 wrote:
Nerd culture has always been on the fringe, especially with those in America who are into a foreign nerd culture. It's just the way your average society is, people love conformity and reject that which they don't understand, not that most people make any effort to understand it to begin with. In this sense, romance can be challenging for someone who is not shy about their love for anime.

Other things like video games and superheroes are becoming pretty mainstream, so there's hope there, but America is incredibly isolationist when it comes to understanding other country's cultures and quirks despite America's "melting pot" reputation. The best thing you can do is enjoy your nerd culture but don't be too overt about it. It's fine if you watch anime in private and talk about it with friends, just don't have Naruto keychains or read Spice and Wolf in the park. Also, don't let yourself become a stereotype. Stay in good physical shape, have other interests, and be friendly, it goes a long way.


If something as harmless as having a Naruto keychain or quietly reading a light novel in public are enough of a turn off, then I don't think the relationship is worth pursuing in the first place.
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