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I give to you ...

A story.

Name : Bakuretsu Tenshi

(Also accepting : Evangelion character sketch reunion)

Yup, it's the start of a new season of Anime in Japan. For many of you, this means nothing; however, there are some of you are into the fansub scene. Whatever (not like it matters).

Anyway, he's a new show this season: Bakuretsu Tenshi.

Let's take a look at the opening shall we :

Oh look a desolate wasteland. How utterly creative and original.

A bird flies onto an altar, in the desolate wasteland of colours ranging from 'diablo brown' to 'deserty brownah'.

So a zombie emerges and eats it.

Then the zombie turns into a giant garbage robot.

So our hero, NotGundam, shows up!

And starts shooting.

So the zombie poses the eternal question 'what happens when i throw truck?'

Why, NotGundam blows it up!

Zombie Garbagemon engages tentacle rape mode, so NotGundam responds by engaging rollerskate mode.

NotGundam bears those massive handguns like he is not, in fact, a rollerskating dork. Oh ho ho! You thought you could trick us, didn't you, NotGundam! But I see through your deceptions!

Long story short, Zombie Garbagemon doesn't have "the right stuff" so NotGundam blows the ever-living crap out of him. Or ever undead-not-living crap, I don't know. Not pictured : lots of jumping and flipping and you know, random stuff.

So anyone let's skip over the OP (opening) and just move onto the main show. I'd like to make the point that the OP has J-rap. Not J-pop, J-rap. Which actually contains the phrase "Everybody loo-sey, [down and wild] goo-sey"

The down and wild is pronounced in Japanese, but the rest, oh it's in bitter, painful English. Anyways, main show.

Shinji is driving to school. I have no idea what the character's name is, but he's a wuss that looks like an older Shinji.

Along the way he encounters assless chaps mode Rei, battling a clown with a machine gun. At least I think he's a clown. Anyway, clown not pictured, since this thread is ridiculous enough so far.

He makes it okay to cooking school (yes, he's a cook) where he and his friend discuss the rising crime rate or the lack of gun control or some such nonsense. Me, personally, I'd be wondering why this huge dork is sitting beside some Japanese wannabe latino gangster / punk rock / bandana / crazy person.

His teacher shows up, and blah blah, she discusses some job offer since Shinji is out of work. His teacher looks like a mishmash of characters. She looks sorta fat, sorta hot, sorta nerdy and all in all, it's like the artists couldn't make up their mind so they just drew some blob of undecided meh.

So Sei, who is part of the job offer, comes to pick Shinji up. I'm not going to show any more pictures of Sei, but she has reverse cleaveage. Her boobs pop out of the bottom of her top, which ends at the midriff. It's freaking insane.

So the job offer is, cook for Asuka. Yes, Asuka. I don't care what the character's name is, that's most definitely Asuka. She talks like Asuka, she acts like Asuka and she looks like Asuka. Notice her bra strap is sorta loose in that picture? Well I can't understand how it can be loose and she can have major nipple erection powers, but I guess that's the best "of both worlds" some something, job offer, cooking for Asuka and ...

Jailbait. Do we need another name? HEEEEEEEELLLLLLOOOOO JAILBAIT.

Oh yeah, and Rei. Actual character name is "Joe". I managed to catch that much. Anyway, he's accepted for the job, Sei throws him out of their mobile troop carrier trailer park house, they go off to fight gangsters...

...where Asuka wears a cowboy hat, assless chaps, and Rei has a pimp coat. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, I THINK MY BRAIN IS GIVING OUT ON ME HERE

And then a giant robot shows up. Because, you know, they don't want to fight the Gangsters, they want to fight the giant robot. Oh. Boy.

Anyway there you go. Bakuretsu Tenshi. Twenty or so minutes of the most uninspired, wacky fan servicey dross I've ever seen. If you for, some reason, want to download this because you like watching animated women with big breasts and assless chaps, you can feel free to head over to wherever you get your fansubs from, and click on 'Bakuretsu Tenshi.'