Journal with Witch

Episode 13

“I witness you.”

Spoken in English from Chiyo to Asa, these words are the fulcrum around which Journal with Witch's finale pivots. I can't say I expected this much importance out of Chekhov's Mad Max: Fury Road Reference (think back to episode 6), but it fits. Asa's commitment to “stand out” comes with the corollary that she therefore will be seen. These are one and the same—a single action—yet our brains process them much differently. We have some degree of choice on how we present ourselves, so we're able to turn those choices into demonstrations of self-actualization. Asa chooses to sing as means of resolving this arc of her story. She injects her own context and own desires into that action. However, we cannot control how others perceive us. Asa can't make Chiyo listen to her song, and even then, she can't ensure what Chiyo's response will be.

Makio took the same risk at the beginning of this story when she interrupted the funeral in order to save Asa. She went against the grain on a whim full of unforeseeable consequences, to help a child she barely knew. Now, over a year later, she gives that child some of her adult wisdom: what Makio did was impulsive, stupid, and had no guarantee of success. Asa glibly recognizes the pessimism, but Makio's two additional decades of experience provide her another perspective. Being older means being more acquainted with failure. When you're Asa's age, failure is a much scarier prospect, but you also may not realize that there are fates worse than failure. At its worst, that fear paralyzes us from taking any action, foisting us into a hollow half-existence spent staring at the ground. When we acknowledge and confront futility, however, we embrace a courage that is its own reward. We set aside self-interest and take a chance on everything we can't control, hoping that if enough other people do the same, we can leave the world a little bit better than we left it.

That's basically what Journal with Witch is about. Outside of its inciting incident, the narrative elides sea changes in favor of tiny adjustments that accumulate over time. We can see some of them in this finale. Makio and Asa eat sausage with toast again, but unlike the premiere, Asa manages to do so without making a mess. She learned that from her aunt. When we circle back to the flash-forward from the first episode, this time we understand that Asa's poetic observations stem from her intent to be more comfortable within her own head. This, too, is growth. Finally, the jump to ten years in the future invites us to imagine how Asa might have changed in that interim. She is still recognizably herself, still friends with Emiri, and still close with Makio, yet even those holding patterns reveal traces of unseen developments. I'm sure Emiri, at some point, came out to Asa, and Asa, at some point, matured enough to accept it. I'm nosy and would love more details about how that went down, but the adaptation, which has always been brilliantly efficient, tells us what we need through its subtext.

Upstream of Chiyo's “I witness you” is Asa's “Because I'm alive!” Well before she picks up her microphone, Asa takes a chance by opening up to Chiyo with honesty and vulnerability, in the hope that she, like her aunt, can help somebody who needs it. Standing out in this way is an affirmation of her life—it's an action laden with the intent to reject her own hopelessness. Asa doesn't wander aimlessly with her grief anymore. She walks hand-in-hand with it towards the oasis that she's nurtured. It took a long time for her to get to this point, and it's not easy, but it's a path forward she has managed to illuminate for herself. And finally, it lights up Chiyo's path as well. We don't know whether Chiyo would have gotten on that train without Asa there, but I like to think she would have. Asa isn't a savior. She's a fellow survivor. That's why Chiyo can see her so well, and it's why her acknowledgement touches Asa so deeply. Now they both know that neither of them are completely alone.

Makio takes a back seat to Asa's development in this finale, and that makes sense. While the series has been steadfast in its avoidance of melodrama, Asa's arc has always been the more dramatic of the two. However, Makio isn't completely static either in these final moments. It's actually huge to see her think about her sister without invoking a painful apparition, as she instead compliments Minori (for probably the first and only time all season). I also like our peek into Makio's internal monologue, albeit filtered through a blog post that likens Asa to a dog. I really appreciated the chuckles I got out of Makio's stern texts after I had spent most of the episode alternately tearing up and weeping.

I'm glad this isn't a definitive ending. Asa's and Makio's stories go on, both in the sense that there is more of the manga to adapt, and in the sense that their life together will continue past this point. Death is the only certain conclusion, and even then, Journal with Witch focuses much of its attention on the idea that Asa's life persists despite her parents being dead. That's why she celebrates their birthdays instead. That's why I don't need nor expect more of the manga to be adapted. This feels right.

In retrospect, I wish I would have written more on the show's technical prowess. I know I haven't been effusive enough in praising Miyuki Oshiro's direction, kensuke ushio's soundtrack, Miyuki Sawashiro's and Fūko Mori's performances, Kotomi Deai's OP, Kohei Kiyasu's editorializations, or any of the myriad contributions from animators and other staff members. Tomoko Yamashita's story and characters affected me so much that I fear I focused on those aspects without giving the rest of the adaptation its due. Journal with Witch's anime is an uncommonly complete package, and it sets a new gold standard for all other series like it. But I hope we see others rise to its challenge. We need more josei adaptations of this caliber. We need the manga localized into English. And we need more stories that affirm our own struggles with their quietly powerful truths.

I had thought about ending the review there, and if you just want my impressions of the finale, you can stop reading now. If you'll allow me one last indulgence, though, I am going to wrap up by getting personal.

I am finalizing these words on March 31st, the international Trans Day of Visibility. That “visibility” is an aspect I've considered a lot since I came out to myself last June, because I came out to friends and strangers alike online at the same time. I still don't know if that was the right move. I've never been comfortable with the notion that I'm a “public figure,” and I'm less comfortable now that people can append the adjective “trans” in front of that phrase. Did I make a mistake before I could even take my first dose of HRT?

In truth, I know I didn't. I had spent my entire life up to that point paralyzed by my fear of being noticed. Accepting myself as trans had to come with the acceptance that my body exists and takes up space. Whether I like it or not, I stand out, and if that's the case, I might as well choose to stand out. I'll contend with the possibility that my life could be over. I'll own that struggle. I'll be Sylvia. I'll breathe and write as openly and authentically as the many trans people who showed me that this could be done. Because the reality is that I've never been more alive than I am now, and I cannot thank my trans elders, comrades, and siblings enough. I witness all of you. And I hope you can witness me.

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Sylvia is on Bluesky for all of your posting needs. She is a witch-in-training. You can also catch her chatting about trash and treasure alike on This Week in Anime.