I never thought that I would use the word "wholesome" to describe an adult BDSM story, but here we are! As a person who practices BDSM, I've always been quite unsatisfied with how it is portrayed in the media. It always seems to come from the perspective of people who genuinely don't understand the nuances that go into BDSM, and more often than not, a lot of these stories sometimes read as practices you should avoid rather than practices that you should embrace. When I picked up the series, I was cautiously optimistic that I would get a story that treats the subject matter with a fair deal of respect and nuance. I'm thankful that my assumption was correct because while it is still a bit rough around the edges, this is a story that uses BDSM as a lovely way of telling how difficult communicating with your partner can be in general.

The core foundation of BDSM comes down to communication. You need to be able to communicate your wants and needs if you want specific acts to be done to you. If you fail to do that, not only could you run into potentially dangerous situations, but you also run the risk of eroding the trust between partners. What I like about this story is that it uses the fact that people see BDSM as weird and horrifying as the catalyst for a lot of interactions that your average couple might go through. I like that because, at the end of the day, a couple exploring a particular fetish really isn't that different from any other couple out there. Sitting down to discuss what you guys are interested in and finding out where that compatibility lies is part of exploring those adult relationships. The question is: where is that fine line between your personal comfort and your effort to make your partner happy?

I felt for Yuka because, in many ways, he represents what I think many people have felt at some point after discovering that their fetishes weren't considered normal. I could go into how society and other social factors make people feel ashamed about particular kinks, but this whole idea of feeling like you are wrong because you want a particular act done to you is very real. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows even when she works up the courage to tell her boyfriend, because on the surface, you could argue that she hit the lottery. Not only has she found a boyfriend who won't shame her, but he's even willing to take the time to learn about those fetishes so that she can feel satisfied. However, it's way more complicated than that.

Mahiro doesn't shame her for her fetishes, but it is heavily established that he's not particularly into this flavor of sexual activity. There's a big difference between researching and understanding why other people find these particular kinks appealing and being into those kinks yourself. That is a much more interesting angle than if he had magically found out that he was a sadist, on board with everything she was into. I like the subtlety of the book. It shows that he's also figuring out his own line about what he feels comfortable with. Maybe there's a part of him that is getting into it, but he starts to hesitate once he begins to understand just how extreme Yuka's interests are. There is a big difference between spanking somebody and calling them a useless sex slave. Even if that's something your partner wants, it can feel very uncomfortable to say those words if you are not into it.

Then there's the guilt of satisfying your other partner's desires. Mahiro is doing all this research because he wants to make Yuka's fetishes a reality so she feels less guilty about being interested in these acts. Inversely, Yuka starts feeling guilty because even though she's seemingly getting everything she wants, that makes her feel like she needs to perform something for him once it becomes clear that he also wants to be sexually engaged to her. Keep in mind, folks, a BDSM scene does not always need to include sex, and this creates a cycle of anxiety where the two people feel trapped. This creates a subtle sense of tension in the background. You want this couple to work it out, and you can tell that they genuinely love each other. But you wonder what's gonna happen beyond this by the end. Are they going to hit a breaking point, or will things work out as well as they hope?

Granted, the story is not a perfect introduction to the world of BDSM if that's what you were hoping for. This is very much a story about inexperienced people going through a very complicated situation. I like how the presentation lets the few BDSM scenes that we see throughout the book actually breathe. There is a sense of quiet tension in every action. That action can be as simple as Mahiro stepping on Yuka, or it can be as involved as a full-on shibari scene! That is probably my biggest complaint about the book. It feels like there could've been a gentler progression of BDSM scenes going on throughout the book, which makes me wonder how much research the author actually did.

For example, I don't think tying up your partner in a fully body rope tie should've been the second BDSM scene that we've seen from two inexperienced people. I do not care how much you practice tying knots; you do not start with a full-body wrap of someone before you establish a safe word! It is actually genuinely frustrating that it takes most of the book to play out before the characters finally establish a safe word for their actions, especially when they start talking about important concepts like consensual nonconsent which, for those who don't know, is the act of engaging sexually with somebody who constantly tells you to stop, but you are expected to keep going unless the safe word specifically is used. So while this is a story about inexperienced people flailing around a lot of these new experiences, that did personally rub me the wrong way a little bit.

Still, this is turning out tremendously better than I originally thought it would. The characters are very likable, and their chemistry is believable. The insecurities both our leads are going through are extremely relatable, both as someone who understands the ones discussed and as someone who has worked with people who have gone through similar ones. If you're at least curious about BDSM, you will find yourself in a lot of the internal monologues in the story. It's a very easy story to digest, and it might help you feel less lonely in a world that might make you feel wrong for wanting to engage in intimate acts outside the norm.