Tamon's B-Side

Episode 6

WARNING: This episode contains a suicide attempt, which will be discussed in this review.

Tamon—the “wild, sexy” idol who wants to make everyone his girlfriend—has a titular "B-side" as a gloomy guy who completely lacks self-confidence. That's the whole premise of the show, and we learn that within minutes of the first episode. So I must say, I was a bit taken aback this week, six episodes in, realizing we were seeing the B-side of the show itself. Considering how lighthearted this show has been up until now, this was a shockingly dark episode. First, from Tamon's suicide attempt, and then from Tamon's behavior toward Utage.

Starting with the first point, it feels so out of the blue, and it's played off so weirdly that it's honestly still hard to believe it happened at all. When Utage got to the roof—which she did in a matter of cartoonishly few seconds—I was expecting Tamon to have been up there for some other reason (probably something along the lines of, “I wanted to watch the clouds and somehow goofed my way to the other side of the guardrail”). But no, he was actually trying to jump because losing his position as center has left him feeling empty. We know that unbeknownst to the general public, Tamon's self-worth was already at rock bottom—so it's no shock that something like this would hit him especially hard. Still, there's a lack of seriousness in the air of this that gives the whole thing a pretty bitter taste of tonal dissonance. Between Utage's reaching him in so little time, Tamon comparing himself to a hamster, and the series still making use of some comedic facial expressions, the serious moment doesn't come across anywhere near as distressing as it should be.

On one hand, part of me wants to say, “Of course, a series as silly and lighthearted as this one struggles to be serious.” But then I remember later in that very episode, when Tamon's behavior toward Utage is actually framed as the serious situation it is. More specifically, Utage realizes that Tamon is purposefully being manipulative and possessive toward her—that there's something more sinister to his behavior than he's previously let on. Thus, the drastic power imbalance between the two as oshi and fangirl—which, frankly, I didn't expect this series to zoom in on, given its more comedic, unserious tone—is suddenly thrust onto center stage.

While this isn't a topic that's been wholly ignored in anime (for example, we've seen it touched on in Oshi no Ko, and it's a pretty big part of NANA), the power imbalance that inherently exists in romantic relationships between someone famous and a dedicated fan doesn't gets talked about nearly as much as it should, especially in an era where fame is more accessible to more people than it's ever been. Still, I'm not shocked that it's something that rarely gets the spotlight. Despite how easy it is to romanticize about, the resulting fallout if it doesn't work out is primed for catastrophic levels of what could broadly be described as messiness—and I mean real, grounded messiness, the likes of which has the potential to traumatize people, and involve lawyers and long, drawn-out lawsuits. I seriously can't emphasize enough how much Utage is "Built Different" that she's able to keep an even, somewhat clear head in this situation. Do I dare to wonder if she could be an aroace queen? (I doubt this series has the guts to do that, but one can dream.)

What makes this all the more interesting in the case of Tamon and Utage is that the power imbalance isn't completely limited to them being oshi and fangirl. It's also client and worker—essentially, a version of employer and employee. Tamon has the power to ensure that one of Utage's colleagues is actually given the job of cleaning his home, and with that job, the resulting pay. Luckily, Utage isn't in desperate need of money—from what we've come to understand, she only has the job to fund her love of Tamon merch—so that's why I'm not usually as focused on this angle. Still, it's easy to imagine the multitude of ways it might further complicate her situation if she had bills to pay or if something came up that put her in desperate need of money. Would Tamon dangle his ability to help her—either indirectly by letting her keep this job, or directly by simply giving her money (if he's got enough money to hire a housekeeper, I'm sure he's got more than enough that he could help her out)—in front of her like a carrot? Last week, I would've scoffed at the notion of such a cynical and calculating Tamon, but now? I'm not quite as sure.

Tamon is obviously deeply hurt by losing his position as center. The idea of him finding more possessive feelings for Utage in the darker corners of his mind that he's obviously dwelling in right now, isn't exactly far-fetched. But that's still not an excuse for his behavior, and I really appreciate that the series itself doesn't seem interested in letting Tamon off the hook for this. As Utage noticed and explicitly pointed out, we've seen crumbs and glimpses of a more manipulative side of Tamon in the past—this isn't entirely unprecedented behavior by him, it's just being amplified loudly enough for Utage to finally hear it. By the end, questions like whether or not Tamon is too far gone for help, or whether or not Tamon would even be receptive to help in the first place, are left lingering.

Tamon himself has given me so much to chew on in this episode that, somehow, our first glimpse of the real Keito ends up feeling like a footnote. Predictably, in contrast to his laid back persona, he's much more serious than he lets on—strict, stern, and maybe a bit of a control freak. Although, as of yet, it's hard to tell if those tendencies come from just the way his personality is, or if his concern about the girl that Ouri and Tamon are hanging around is going to cause problems. Personally, though, given his reaction when he learned that Utage is a Tamon fangirl, I lean toward the latter right now. After all, given how toxic idol culture is in Japan (especially when it comes to those idols having a personal love life), one can't entirely blame him for being concerned—and this very week, we learned that despite this show's silly veneer, it's not afraid to take steps in a darker direction.

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Tamon’s B-Side is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.