Journal with Witch

Episode 8

Asa begins the episode staring into the eyes of a wolf in a nature documentary. The wolf, symbol of the loner, symbolizes Makio, but that is not the whole story. There's another wolf that has been chasing Asa, and she's been running away from it since the series began. The wolf's name is Grief, and it, too, is alone. Asa isn't like Makio, and she shrinks from the prospect of grappling with her parents' deaths within the towering walls of her own psyche. She resents her aunt for her introversion, but the truth is that nobody can hold Asa's hand through the entirety of the grieving process. While friends and family can help ease some of the emotional burden, there will always be that wolf in her head, staring her down, until she musters the courage to confront it by herself.

I had originally questioned the need (beyond saving time and money on the production) to recapitulate the ending scene of last week's episode. However, given the way this chapter ends, it works as the trigger for this important point in Asa's arc. Previously, I looked at Asa's encounter with her mom's journal as a means of capping that episode's thoughts on motherhood. The flashbacks with Minori painted a newly vulnerable portrait of her, which her writing laid bare. Here, though, Journal with Witch asks us to focus on Asa's reaction. She is emotionally frayed, full of terror and anger, and that mindset inches her closer to the dark abyss where the monster lies waiting.

As always, though, this series refuses to milk melodrama. Journal with Witch believes that the quotidian and the subdued contain more than enough nuance and truth. When Makio learns that her niece has been skipping school, everyone on that call is concerned for Asa, but nobody explodes. The teacher acts like she has seen this before, because she most certainly has. Emiri can understand how her friend is feeling, and she is hilariously candid when communicating that she and Asa are big weenies who wouldn't do anything drastic. Makio, while initially frazzled, is soothed by the presence of the other two women on the call, and they help her come up with a plan. She might be Asa's legal guardian, but that doesn't mean she has to handle that on her own.

Makio realizes she does not need to confront Asa alone either. Kasamachi and Todo's presence turns the middle portion of the narrative into a light and relatable outing between three adult weirdos. It was enough to lull me into a false sense of security about the emotional weight of the whole episode, although even at its breeziest, Journal with Witch remains relentless. Kasamachi's and Makio's diametric views on the ease of reaching out sniped me right in the gut (I am with Makio 100%). As a former goody two-shoes, I also appreciate Kasamachi and Todo's confession about never skipping school. We former child losers need grown-up representation too! Kasamachi's recollection about his dad, however, is a sharp reminder of the fragile fabric that connects children to the adults in their lives. It is easy to tear and difficult to mend.

That's why I howled at how they confront Asa. It's perfect. There is nothing a rebellious teenager despises more than a gaggle of clueless adults participating in the same activity. You can taste how quickly the bubble tea turns to ash in Asa's mouth. Seriously, though, I must once again credit this series for its restraint. Another show would have had Makio angrily confront Asa in public in order to craft a potent dose of emotional catharsis for the audience. There are no such fireworks. There is no such relief.

Makio doesn't let Asa off the hook, and the two of them have a frank conversation about the journal, with Makio maturely deflecting Asa's barbed ripostes. While she says she can't understand the selflessness of a parent, Makio exhibits that selflessness here. She prioritizes Asa's feelings over her own. She serves tea. She moves her chair to sit closer to her niece. Makio's guarded nature and bluntness may not be our (or her) idea of “motherly love,” but she is not at all bereft of affection. She's serious about figuring this relationship out.

Ultimately, though, this episode is about Asa—and only Asa. She wanders the desert alone, stewing in the suffocating miasma of her own thoughts, and the only water within reach may as well be a mirage. She can see Makio's oasis, but her aunt will not let her drink from it. Asa resents her for this and lashes out, but Makio knows that it will not provide Asa the succor she needs. Asa starts to realize this, too, or perhaps she has always realized it. Running away is not helping. Smashing her mug will not help. These are temporary respites that leave her right where she started. She wanders the desert alone.

However, just because Asa is alone does not mean she is without aid. Makio's lack of external warmth belies the surfeit that courses through her and flows into her work, and Asa finally see it on the beach in Makio's novel. But it does not contain relief. It is a liminal space between the heat of the sand and the chill of the water. The hot tears of grief evaporate on the cool ocean breeze. There is nobody to kill. There is nobody to save. There is nothing there but Luca and his sadness, rocking back and forth without his dragon to steady him. It is a painful truth extracted from the depths of Makio's soul, and Asa, at long last, sees herself reflected there.

As soon as Asa's tears hit the page, I turned into a sobbing wreck alongside her. Heck, my eyes are welling up now, as I force myself to recall and coolly analyze that scene. I don't know if I've seen another story so eloquently express the paradox of grief. Our hearts ache for company, yet we walk this leg of the journey by ourselves. That doesn't mean we're utterly alone, and it's important that Makio is immediately there to hold and comfort Asa. But Asa had to stop running and walk there by herself. Accepting that a loved one is gone is one of the hardest things anybody ever does. Worse still, we have to do it multiple times, and the journey is never the same twice. But art helps. Makio's book extends an ephemeral hand that guides Asa over this last hurdle. While she isn't finished grieving, she can move onto the next step now. Journal with Witch has already proven itself to be a similarly potent work, and I know I will be recommending it in the future to those I cannot help directly. I'm sure I will return to it as well, as often as I need.

Rating:

Sylvia is on Bluesky for all of your posting needs. She is a witch-in-training. You can also catch her chatting about trash and treasure alike on This Week in Anime.