My Status as an Assassin Obviously Exceeds the Hero's

Episode 12

I'm a big fan of any show that sets up a moral dilemma and has the characters resolve it—but leaves it up to the audience to decide whether our heroes did the right thing or not. That's exactly what we get in this episode.

If it weren't obvious already, all it takes is a few minutes with Gram for Akira to 100% understand that he needs a good killing. He's enslaved his guards, wants to work with the demons for personal gain, and has no qualms about doing horrible things to Amelia—oh, and he watched Saran get murdered for his own personal entertainment. If there's anyone in existence that Akira doesn't need to feel bad about assassinating, it's this guy—and that's the point.

Despite how evil Gram is, Akira still sees killing Gram as murder. Killing is a step that, once taken, can never be taken back. Can he really return to earth and hug his family with bloodstained hands, knowing that they would find what he did unconscionable? Can he forgive himself for doing something that he has been raised to believe is morally wrong?

What's interesting about the whole assassination ordeal is that Akira has an easy way out—two of them to be precise. The first would be letting Night do the job in his stead. Not only would this keep Akira's hands clean, but Night has made this offer to him several times—so it's not like Akira would have to force Night to do it. Then later, on the night of the assassination, he runs into the King's own assassin. At this point, Akira has taken out the super soldier guards, so there's no reason to think that the King's assassin couldn't finish the job, leaving Akira once again without any blood on his hands.

However, the thing about Akira is that he's not a person who is capable of deceiving himself to assuage his conscience. He sees having a friend do something bad for him or simply standing by and letting something bad happen as the same as him doing the deed himself. Even the fact that he is killing in the defense of himself and his loved ones at this point doesn't grant him any solace. He is determined to take responsibility for his actions.

There's also the simple fact that they could run away. However, doing so would make an enemy of Crow and the King of Uruk—not to mention that Gram would spare no expense to pursue them. Logically, the best choice is to go for the kill—to gain allies, better his chances at returning to Japan, and keep Amelia safe. But even as he's resolved to take this action, there is one additional roadblock: the two people who care for him most, Saran and Amelia, don't want him to do it.

Both of them were inspired by the good man he already is. They don't want to see him in pain—forced onto a dark path for their sake. But in the end, the choice is Akira's own. He chooses to protect his lover and get revenge for his friend, full well knowing the cost to himself.

And then comes the second part of the one-two punch. After the fact, Akira doesn't feel bad about killing Gram. He doesn't doubt that it is a net positive for both himself and the world at large. And that is what makes him feel like a monster. He should be racked with regret for taking a life, and what does it say about him that he isn't? He almost wants those around him to shun him—to punish him for the sin he has committed.

However, Amelia isn't going to do that. She was born in this world where taking lives is often necessary—and has no qualms about doing so. It would take far more than the justified killing of the world's worst man to even give her pause. All she cares about is the damage to Akira's heart—and will do all she can to soothe that pain.

My Status as an Assassin Obviously Exceeds the Hero's ends on a strong note. For this last arc, it slowed down and really put emphasis on how important the no-killing rule was to Akira and what it meant for his soul to break it. Moreover, we are left to judge whether or not Akira made the right call or not. But with this, he's taken his first life-changing step on the road towards revenge—as well as getting home.

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My Status as an Assassin Obviously Exceeds the Hero's is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.