Chained Soldier Season 2

Episode 5

Himari is one of the sweetest girls in Yuuki's harem, so I was excited to see Chained Soldier dedicate more time to exploring her complicated relationship with the extensive Azuma clan this week. Unfortunately, I have to report that The Azuma Banquet is the season's weakest episode yet. It's a shame, too, because introducing an entire horde of deranged relatives for Himari to battle for the role of next family head has so much potential, but Chained Soldier wastes most of it.

To at least get some praise out there before we dig into my complaints, I do like most of Himari's relatives that we meet. Her grandma Tovera being stuck in the body of a young teenager is a dumb choice that stinks of cowardice, but the gal's got sass and is fun to watch as she chews the scenery. Homare has the same level of bitchy snark that makes her an obvious foil for Himari to beat down, and what can I say? I am a sucker for tall, tough women who could easily stab the eyes out of any chump who so much as coughs in their direction without paying their proper dues. Plus, while her bullying of Himari sucks, it gives Yachiyo a chance to be a cute, protective sister, which I appreciate.

Sadly, the much-ballyhooed Azuma Banquet Battle Royale ends up as little more than an extended one-on-two between Homare, Himari, and Yuuki, since the rest of the battle participants are chumps that get taken out immediately and almost entirely off-screen. Like I said last week, the new studios in charge of adapting Chained Soldier are just not very good at staging and animating action, and action is what almost all of this episode is dedicated to. It's neat to see Yuuki add another evolution form to his Man-Slut Pokédex, but the battle with Homare is basically the kind of mid-tier padding you'd get out of a lame Naruto filler episode.

Even worse is the fact that Chained Soldier drops the ball with the trashy sexploitation this week, too! Yuuki's Reward being a straightforward, sloppy makeout session, could have potentially been sexy in an adult, emotionally intimate way, but the show has to go and indulge in the worst kind of horny anime tongue-sucking. Why do smutty anime have to be so weird and gross about kissing? Everyone acts like their tongues are sopping wet paint-brushes, and they're playing a WarioWare mini-game to see who can soak the most surface area of the other person's mouth and face with a thick layer of congealed saliva. I've seen my cat attack his daily plate of puréed chicken liver paste with more dignity.

Even if you hold out hope for a decent after-credits scene, what do you get? Just a lazy shower scene that shows off Ren in the shower as she stews over last week's humiliation. I'm sorry, but I can award no points for such a blatant non-sequitur that can't even be bothered to get creative with its perversion. I mean, come on, now. If Chained Soldier is going to start cutting corners with the T&A of all things, then what are we even doing here?

Episode Rating:

Chained Soldier Season 2 is currently streaming on HIDIVE.

James is a writer with many thoughts and feelings about anime and other pop-culture, which can also be found on BlueSky, his blog, and his podcast.